Ben Brinkerhoff – Overcoming Resentment – Class 4 – Saved by Grace

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This is day four, class number
one of the 2023 Rocky Mountain

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Bible School.
Our speaker this morning is

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Brother Ben Brinkerhoff of the
Christ Church North Ecclesia in

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New Zealand.
His topic for the week is

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Overcoming resentment, and the
title today is Judas Saved by

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Grace.
Good morning Rocky Mountain

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Bible School.
Well, I have been asked a couple

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times is this on by the way,
David, I’ve asked a couple times

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like Ben, you just keep on
layering on the problem, the

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problem, the problem, the
problem.

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When are we going to get to the
answer?

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And hopefully today we start to
get into the the answer for

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resentment.
And we’re going to do so through

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through one of those readings
that when you parents, you ever

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had that that one of those
occasions where, you know, you

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look at the daily readings and
and you go, we’re just going to

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read the second and third
portion today, kids, you know,

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and and maybe chapter 38 Genesis
was one of those one of those

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chapters.
So it’s an interesting chapter

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to look into anyways, because I
think it presents itself with

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some intriguing questions, but
also with what Judah needed to

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go through to to make that next
step in his progress and the

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restoration of his faith and of
his conscience.

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So in our last study, though, we
saw Judah just going from from

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bad to worst.
He seems to be trying to find

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something that’s going to fill
that hole in his heart and we

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just see him turning more and
more into different types of of

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self gratification.
So and it’s, it’s like he’s

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spiraling downwards.
We see him grow in hatred and

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envy.
We see him plot to kill his

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brother.
We see him hatch the idea to

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sell Joseph into slavery.
And then he lies about it to his

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father.
And then he leaves the only

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ecclesia in existence, which was
within his father’s house, to

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live in the world.
And then he marries outside the

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truth in pursuit of lust and
wealth to what appears to be a

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miserable woman.
So how’s you going to emerge

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from the spiraling mess?
It seems to be getting worse,

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not not better.
And he’s going to do so through

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the most unlikely of sources, a
Canaanite woman who was more

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righteous than he.
And that is today’s story.

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SO1 gets the impression as he
reads the story that Tamer had

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really no say in her marriage to
ER.

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Now we turn over to Genesis
chapter 38, where we’ll be

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taking most of our comments for
today’s class.

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And we look then at verse 38,
chapter 38, verse 6, where we

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read and Judah took a wife for
ER, his first born, whose name

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was Tamar.
Now in those days, women could

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be used to tie families together
for political purposes.

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And probably the best example of
this is Dinah and Shechem

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because their marriage or
proposed marriage certainly had

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political implications.
In Genesis chapter 34 verses 9

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to 10, we read that Shechem’s
father says ye shall dwell with

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us in the land because of this
marriage.

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You can dwell and trade therein
and get you possession.

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So, so their proposed union had
political implications, not

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simply just romantic ones.
And also women could be used for

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a dowry.
And again, you think the example

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of Donna and Shechem.
You know, what is it that

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Shechem said to Jacob?
He said to Jacob asked me ever

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so much dowry and gift.
So you can see that that on some

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level, these marriages of women
could could have political

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implications.
It had could have financial

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implications.
And so I just use that and

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reflect on what’s happening
here.

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And I think it’s highly likely
that there was knowledge in the

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land that Ur was wicked.
I don’t think his wickedness

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would have been something that
was hidden under a a Bush,

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right?
I think it was well known that

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Judas and Ur was was a wicked
man.

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So if if that’s true, then put
this together.

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How how would you like to be
married off to an evil man that

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you don’t love because your
father can fetch a high price

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and wants to make political
alliances?

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You know, I don’t know if we
have any young single women in

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this crowd, right?
But I imagine that that that

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probably wouldn’t make you very
happy.

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Might bother you a bit.
So after swallowing that

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injustice, you you come into
Judah’s home that seems to be

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dominated by his brawling wife
and his wicked sons.

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And you’re there to to make sons
so.

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But in those days, women had
really 2 paths to security and

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livelihood and one was in
marriage and secondly was

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through having sons.
And it’s clear how important

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sons were in the rivalry between
Leah and Rachel.

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So you wonder then about how
Tamar saw Judah when she goes

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into his house.
Would she have observed that

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there was something different
about him?

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That maybe he maybe he wasn’t as
comfortable with the sin and

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cruelty that his sons were?
That that he hadn’t totally

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accepted Canaanite ways?
That there was something in

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Judah that knew right from wrong
even he couldn’t bring himself

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to do right.
Like she must have observed

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something in him.
She must have, because she’s

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going to bet her life on it,
that he’s willing to do what’s

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right if the conditions are
presented in the right way.

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But the record says in verse 7
of chapter 38 that ER, Judas

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first born, was wicked in the
side of the Lord, and the Lord

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slew him.
OK, So what do you think was

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Tamar’s reaction when ER died?
Was it relief?

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Was it horror?
I mean, she was left without a

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husband and without a son, and
that’s a disaster for a woman of

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her time.
And so in verse 8, Judah says to

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Onan, go into thy brother’s wife
and marry her and raise up a

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seed to thy brother.
So Tamar, I think, would have

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been relieved that Judah had
organized for Onan to go in to

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Tamar and to to marry her and to
raise up a seed for her.

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Now although Tamar might have
been relieved, it reads almost

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like Judah was simply following
customary laws in those times.

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And in fact, a law like this is
codified in the law of Moses.

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And we read about it that in
Deuteronomy chapter 25, verses 5

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and 6.
I’ll put that up on the screen

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for you.
We read there, If brethren dwell

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together, and one of them die
and have no child, the wife of

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the dead shall not marry without
unto a stranger.

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Her husband’s brother shall go
in unto her, and take her to him

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to wife, and perform the duty of
a husband’s brother unto her.

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And it shall be that if the
first born which she beareth

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shall succeed in the name of his
brother which is dead, that his

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name be not put out of Israel.
So this is a simple concept.

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If the widow doesn’t have a
child, then the brother of the

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dead husband goes in to produce
an heir, and when a male male

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heir is produced, it is counted
as the dead brother and receives

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the inheritance that the dead
brother was due, that the

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brothers may be not put out of
Israel.

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The problem, of course, is that
by doing this, the living

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brother participates in a
process which reduces their

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inheritance.
So there’s a lot of financial

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implications of this process for
Onan.

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Now before ER died, Onan was due
to receive 25% of Jews estate,

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which and due to the estate I’m
only supposing was probably

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quite considerable.
Now when ER dies, Onan now is

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due to receive about 67% of the
estate.

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Of course, what happens is you
take the estate and you divide

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it up by the number of children
and you add one additional

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portion.
So I’m now going to divide to

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choose the state three ways, one
portion for each of his child

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and the double portion which is
due to the first born or to the

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oldest surviving heir.
So in this situation, with her

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out of the way, Onan is now due
to receive 67% of the

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inheritance.
OK, but what happens when Onan

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marries Tamar and raises up a
seed for her?

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Well, unfortunately in that
situation, the little guy gets

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50% of the estate and Onan goes
back to 25%.

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How do you think he felt about
that?

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Well, probably didn’t like it
very much.

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Probably inherited a little bit
of Judah’s mentality of, of

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aiming for position and for
profit and so, so Onan is, is

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happy to marry Tamar, but he
doesn’t want any children by

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her.
So it’s like this is Onan’s

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plan.
He’s going to wait it out till

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Judah dies.
He’s going to inherit the double

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portion himself.
Then he’s going to dispose of

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Tamar and marry a younger girl
and have sons.

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So the the whole idea of what
happens in this, in Onan’s plan,

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the implications of all of this,
is that Tamar ends up destitute.

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So the key to Tamar’s whole
security was tied up in having a

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son.
How would she feel then when

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Onan spilled his seed to her?
That would be a vicious wrong

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and even worse, she would be
blamed for being barren.

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So we read in Genesis chapter 38
verse 10.

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And the thing which he did
displease the Lord, wherefore he

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slew him also.
All right, now think of the

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impact of Tamar when Onan dies.
Consider for a moment the

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suspicious ways of Canaanites.
Would they think of Tamar?

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What would they think of Tamar
after her first husband died?

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Then surely after Tamar marries
Onan and then he also dies, and

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the whole time she can’t seem to
get pregnant.

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Do you think the Canaanites
would have cast a suspicious eye

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on Tamar, thinking perhaps that
their gods had cursed her?

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She would have known that she
had done nothing wrong.

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But would anyone listen worse?
What do you think that Judah’s

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wife thought of Tamar?
You know, if Judah died, her

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security was bound up in her
sons.

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Now two of them have died.
You know, You think she would

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have given Tamar any sympathy?
No chance.

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So Judah sends Tamar back to her
father’s house.

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So we read about that in Genesis
chapter 38 and verse 11.

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Then said Judah, Tamar, his
daughter-in-law, remain a widow

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at thy father’s house till she
let my son be grown.

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For he said, lest peradventure
he die also as his brethren did.

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And Tamar went and dwelt in his
father’s house.

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It’s clear, the text reads, that
this is this is Tamar’s fault,

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that the suspicion was that she
was doing this.

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He thought it, his wife thought
it, the household would have

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thought it.
She’s being blamed for what’s

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going on.
So she’s in trouble, right?

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She’s in trouble.
She has no husband, plus she has

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no son.
And in those times that equaled

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no future, do you think for a
moment that Tamar’s family

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wanted her back?
What do you think they thinking

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when Tamar comes back?
They, they had created this

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marriage thinking this marriage
would be great for them.

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They would align to one of the
wealthiest and most connected

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families in the valley, right?
That they were going to, they

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were going to be in close to
that family now.

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And now they’re, Tamar’s being
sent back to them.

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They, they don’t want to be
financially responsible for her,

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right?
And she’s being blamed and they

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know it.
And now they’re going to be

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blamed by implication.
They don’t want her back.

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So now Tamar’s whole host, her
entire future depends on Judah

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keeping his word and giving
Sheila to be her husband.

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And she waited, and she waited,
and she waited.

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So when do you think that that
dull, aching fear and suspicion

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became an inescapable reality?
When Judah would not, when he

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could not do what was right?
When did she realize that

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Judah’s plan was basically to
leave her destitute?

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Last class we talked about
resentment and how Judah had

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built a strong and bitter case
against Joseph that practically

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demanded that Judah get even.
And we discussed how Judah had

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progressed through the five
selves of sin, self importance,

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self justification, self
righteousness, self pity and

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self loathing, and self
gratification.

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And you’ll recall this diagram
where we illustrated in the

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Balance how holding on to hurts
in the former resentment was

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just the fuel that made it OK to
sin.

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00:16:24,600 –> 00:16:30,040
OK, Now considering what I’ve
said about those things, how do

219
00:16:30,040 –> 00:16:34,640
you think that Tamar’s Balance
looked about right now?

220
00:16:40,560 –> 00:16:46,960
In fact, I, I I couldn’t even
fit all of the harms done to her

221
00:16:46,960 –> 00:16:51,320
on this little graphic.
So so here we are, right?

222
00:16:51,880 –> 00:16:55,000
She had been forced to marry
her, an evil man.

223
00:16:57,240 –> 00:16:59,280
Her husband dies, leaving her no
children.

224
00:17:00,520 –> 00:17:05,880
She’s dishonored by Onan.
She’s blamed for her husband’s

225
00:17:05,880 –> 00:17:09,160
deaths.
She’s forced to go back to her

226
00:17:09,160 –> 00:17:14,880
home where she’s very likely
unwelcomed by her family while

227
00:17:14,880 –> 00:17:18,440
she waits for a kinsman Redeemer
that she is denied from

228
00:17:18,440 –> 00:17:25,480
receiving.
No, When Judah was faced with

229
00:17:25,480 –> 00:17:30,000
his own hurts, he used self
justification to balance the

230
00:17:30,000 –> 00:17:34,680
scale and sell Joseph into
slavery.

231
00:17:34,920 –> 00:17:37,960
That was his way of making
things right in his own eyes.

232
00:17:39,160 –> 00:17:40,480
But we know that it wasn’t
right.

233
00:17:42,080 –> 00:17:45,800
It was evil.
And by contrast, though it’s

234
00:17:45,920 –> 00:17:50,720
maybe instructive to look at
what rights that Tamar had do to

235
00:17:50,720 –> 00:17:52,680
her.
So going back to Deuteronomy

236
00:17:52,680 –> 00:18:04,480
chapter 25, let’s look at verses
7 through 10 now and see what

237
00:18:04,480 –> 00:18:07,760
rights Tamar had available to
her, at least according to the

238
00:18:07,760 –> 00:18:09,960
Law of Moses.
And what it’s going to take that

239
00:18:09,960 –> 00:18:12,320
this was a representation of
maybe some of the rights she had

240
00:18:12,320 –> 00:18:17,080
available to her at that time,
even before the Law of Moses.

241
00:18:17,320 –> 00:18:21,080
So Deutenonomy chapter 25,
verses 7:00 to 10:00.

242
00:18:22,680 –> 00:18:25,880
And if the man like not to take
his brother’s wife, and that

243
00:18:25,880 –> 00:18:29,360
seems to be the situation for
Tamar now, they didn’t Sheila or

244
00:18:29,360 –> 00:18:34,760
Judah didn’t want to take her
then then let his brother’s wife

245
00:18:35,160 –> 00:18:39,560
go up to the gate unto the
elders and say, My husband’s

246
00:18:39,560 –> 00:18:44,200
brother refuses to raise up unto
his brother a name in Israel.

247
00:18:45,080 –> 00:18:47,840
He will not perform the duty of
my husband’s brother.

248
00:18:49,840 –> 00:18:52,480
Then the elders of the city
shall call him and speak unto

249
00:18:52,480 –> 00:18:55,400
him.
And if he stand to it and say, I

250
00:18:55,400 –> 00:19:02,840
like not to take her, then shall
his brother’s wife come unto him

251
00:19:03,400 –> 00:19:08,600
in the presence of the elders,
and loose his shoe from office

252
00:19:08,600 –> 00:19:17,320
foot, and spit in his face, and
shall answer and say, So shall

253
00:19:17,320 –> 00:19:20,760
it be done unto the man that
will not build up his brother’s

254
00:19:20,760 –> 00:19:23,800
house.
And his name will be called in

255
00:19:23,800 –> 00:19:29,640
Israel the House of him that
hath his shoe loosed.

256
00:19:32,280 –> 00:19:34,760
So to summarize, the law says
when a woman is denied a kinsman

257
00:19:34,760 –> 00:19:40,080
Redeemer, that that she would
spit in the man’s face, the

258
00:19:40,080 –> 00:19:43,000
deniers face, and say, so shall
be done to the man that will not

259
00:19:43,000 –> 00:19:47,480
build up his father’s house,
brother’s house, and and have

260
00:19:47,480 –> 00:19:52,240
vindication by dishonouring this
man publicly in front of the

261
00:19:52,240 –> 00:19:56,120
elders.
Now that’s what I call getting

262
00:19:56,120 –> 00:20:01,440
even right.
And it’s very likely that some

263
00:20:01,440 –> 00:20:04,720
tradition like this existed in
Tamar’s day, which is why Judah

264
00:20:04,720 –> 00:20:08,640
gave Onan and why the
expectation was that he would

265
00:20:08,640 –> 00:20:11,320
give Sheila even if he was
scared to do it.

266
00:20:13,320 –> 00:20:16,040
So do what?
If we would just assume a

267
00:20:16,040 –> 00:20:20,080
similar law was available to to
Tamar, do you know what would be

268
00:20:20,080 –> 00:20:24,360
the best part about it?
Do what the best part about that

269
00:20:24,360 –> 00:20:26,680
would be for Tamar?
Huh.

270
00:20:28,320 –> 00:20:32,040
Resentment was legal, right?
How good is that?

271
00:20:32,240 –> 00:20:35,760
Resentment was illegal.
It wouldn’t have been a sin.

272
00:20:36,880 –> 00:20:41,080
It wouldn’t have been a sin for
Tamar to spit in Judah’s face or

273
00:20:41,080 –> 00:20:44,040
Sheila’s face and publicly put
him to shame.

274
00:20:44,120 –> 00:20:47,120
It was the law.
She could shame him.

275
00:20:47,720 –> 00:20:51,480
She could vindicate her name.
She could clear a path to marry

276
00:20:51,760 –> 00:20:57,880
someone.
She could make Judah feel as

277
00:20:58,560 –> 00:21:08,360
ashamed and as unclean as they
made her feel, and she didn’t.

278
00:21:11,480 –> 00:21:14,800
Why not?
How is it that in the face of so

279
00:21:14,800 –> 00:21:22,800
much hurt, Tamar didn’t enforce
her legal rights and her ability

280
00:21:22,800 –> 00:21:28,720
to get even?
I believe the answer is that she

281
00:21:28,720 –> 00:21:34,120
was loyal to her husband’s
family and further to Judah, her

282
00:21:34,200 –> 00:21:36,640
himself.
See, Judah was now the head of

283
00:21:36,640 –> 00:21:38,920
her house.
He was her Lord.

284
00:21:39,560 –> 00:21:44,600
She wouldn’t shame him because
to shame him by implication was

285
00:21:44,600 –> 00:21:49,720
a shame herself and her family.
Did Judah spare thought like

286
00:21:49,720 –> 00:21:53,000
that when he lied to Jacob, the
head of his family?

287
00:21:55,520 –> 00:21:58,560
So I just want us to observe for
a moment here, just for a

288
00:21:58,560 –> 00:22:05,200
moment, that Judah and Tamar are
are poles apart.

289
00:22:07,320 –> 00:22:13,200
They had both been hurt.
They’d both been hurt, but they

290
00:22:13,200 –> 00:22:19,920
have reacted to that hurt very
differently now.

291
00:22:20,160 –> 00:22:21,880
Does anyone know what Tamar’s
name means?

292
00:22:24,200 –> 00:22:29,240
Palm palm tree, right?
And what are the palm trees

293
00:22:29,240 –> 00:22:35,640
famous for during in the in the
Near East dates?

294
00:22:35,840 –> 00:22:42,040
Yeah, right.
So, so Tamar’s name is like the

295
00:22:42,040 –> 00:22:47,840
date palm and the date palms
provide what very sweet fruit

296
00:22:48,760 –> 00:22:56,280
under very harsh environment.
And I don’t think that Tamar’s

297
00:22:56,280 –> 00:23:04,800
name is an accident.
So we don’t know how many years

298
00:23:04,800 –> 00:23:08,880
passed while she, Tamar was
waiting for Sheila.

299
00:23:09,160 –> 00:23:11,880
The whole story is compacted
into about 22 years.

300
00:23:13,360 –> 00:23:18,760
But Judah in the meantime would
find himself in a trap that he

301
00:23:18,760 –> 00:23:22,920
couldn’t spring.
He, and even more so his wife,

302
00:23:23,720 –> 00:23:26,560
couldn’t risk giving their last
son to Tamar.

303
00:23:26,920 –> 00:23:29,600
Yet he couldn’t marry Shila to
anyone else because if he

304
00:23:29,600 –> 00:23:32,520
married Shila to someone else,
that would bring his family into

305
00:23:32,520 –> 00:23:34,520
open shame.
So.

306
00:23:34,520 –> 00:23:40,000
So Tamar just waited and
languished and the unlike and

307
00:23:40,000 –> 00:23:43,960
unwelcome environment of her
family home until two things

308
00:23:43,960 –> 00:23:48,320
happened, which I think caused
her to take decisive action.

309
00:23:48,800 –> 00:23:52,320
And those two things are all
hope of Judah doing the right

310
00:23:52,320 –> 00:23:55,280
thing was lost.
And secondly, the Judah’s wife

311
00:23:55,280 –> 00:24:01,400
died.
So what Tamar’s looking for is a

312
00:24:01,400 –> 00:24:05,800
kinsman Redeemer for a man of
her husband’s family to give her

313
00:24:05,800 –> 00:24:08,760
a child in place of each of her
dead husbands.

314
00:24:09,880 –> 00:24:15,680
Now remember, in Tamar’s case,
she needed two sons for two dead

315
00:24:15,680 –> 00:24:19,800
husbands.
It was clear that Judah would

316
00:24:19,800 –> 00:24:27,200
not perform his duty knowingly.
It was also clear that due to

317
00:24:27,200 –> 00:24:32,320
her deep loyalty to her
husband’s family that she

318
00:24:32,320 –> 00:24:35,880
wouldn’t bring Judah and Sheila
into open shame by appealing to

319
00:24:35,880 –> 00:24:41,080
the elders at the gate.
So her solution is to play the

320
00:24:41,080 –> 00:24:44,560
role, is to trick Judah into
playing the role of the kinsman

321
00:24:44,560 –> 00:24:50,280
Redeemer and then I guess pray
by Judah’s God that he would do

322
00:24:50,280 –> 00:24:57,200
the right thing.
So the record says in Genesis

323
00:24:57,200 –> 00:25:03,160
chapter 38, verse 12, in the
process of time, the daughter of

324
00:25:03,160 –> 00:25:09,240
Shua, Judah’s wife, died and
Judah was comforted and went up

325
00:25:09,360 –> 00:25:14,480
to his sheep shearers in
Timnath, he and his friend Hira

326
00:25:14,520 –> 00:25:22,560
the Adalamite.
So this, I think, is not going

327
00:25:22,560 –> 00:25:25,640
to be Judah’s first time
visiting a prostitute.

328
00:25:27,200 –> 00:25:35,200
I don’t know that for sure, but
if not, how would Tamar be so

329
00:25:35,200 –> 00:25:37,040
confident that her plan would
work?

330
00:25:39,920 –> 00:25:45,080
And further, Tamar would have
known that Timnath is the place

331
00:25:45,080 –> 00:25:51,520
you go to see a cult prostitute.
So Judah was going up to a sheep

332
00:25:51,520 –> 00:25:53,560
shearers.
And if you’re shearing your

333
00:25:53,560 –> 00:25:57,040
sheep, that’s a time where you
make wool and you now you have a

334
00:25:57,040 –> 00:26:01,120
commodity you can sell.
So it’s probably a time of money

335
00:26:01,120 –> 00:26:06,480
and prosperity and feasting and
concupiscence, I imagine in

336
00:26:06,480 –> 00:26:10,680
Canaanite times.
And you asked the question, why

337
00:26:10,680 –> 00:26:13,240
did Judah seek to be comforted
with prostitutes?

338
00:26:15,480 –> 00:26:21,360
I suppose we can’t know for
sure, but my guess is that he

339
00:26:21,360 –> 00:26:27,320
felt like he needed something to
fill the emptiness inside, and

340
00:26:27,320 –> 00:26:32,360
that he reasoned that he was so
far gone anyways, it really

341
00:26:32,360 –> 00:26:37,640
didn’t matter.
I’ve known brother like that.

342
00:26:39,480 –> 00:26:43,920
I’m so far gone, you know, it
doesn’t even matter.

343
00:26:46,560 –> 00:26:51,320
And so seeing a prostitute was
just something else to ease the

344
00:26:51,320 –> 00:26:54,880
pain.
For a moment, he found himself

345
00:26:55,160 –> 00:26:58,960
in an endless loop based on the
last two of the five selves of

346
00:26:58,960 –> 00:27:04,280
sin, self gratification and self
loathing, which can cycle over

347
00:27:04,280 –> 00:27:06,680
and over again.
You know, you know how it is.

348
00:27:07,200 –> 00:27:13,960
You have self gratification, but
that leads directly to self

349
00:27:13,960 –> 00:27:18,080
loathing.
But then you feel so horrible

350
00:27:18,080 –> 00:27:22,440
about yourself that you seek out
more self gratification.

351
00:27:24,600 –> 00:27:28,760
But having done it again, that
just leads to more self

352
00:27:28,760 –> 00:27:35,980
loathing.
Basically the medicine you’re

353
00:27:35,980 –> 00:27:38,940
using to make yourself feel
better is making you more sick,

354
00:27:40,180 –> 00:27:42,020
and that requires yet more
medicine.

355
00:27:44,500 –> 00:27:47,860
The cycle probably makes more
sense using plainer language.

356
00:27:49,780 –> 00:27:55,760
You sin, so you feel awful, so
you sin, which makes you feel

357
00:27:55,760 –> 00:28:03,920
awful, so you sin, and you ask
yourself what’s going to break

358
00:28:03,920 –> 00:28:10,360
the cycle of self?
Now, if, if Tamar had not been

359
00:28:10,360 –> 00:28:13,800
on that road, Judah would have
slept with some prostitute.

360
00:28:15,280 –> 00:28:19,640
So we have to see that even in
this sort of situation, God was

361
00:28:19,640 –> 00:28:22,240
working.
There’s simply too many

362
00:28:23,440 –> 00:28:26,800
coincidences and too many things
in this plan that could have

363
00:28:26,800 –> 00:28:29,160
gone wrong.
I mean, if you want to think

364
00:28:29,160 –> 00:28:32,920
about it, brothers, sisters,
this plan was an outrageous

365
00:28:32,920 –> 00:28:36,520
plan.
There’s, there’s just no way

366
00:28:36,520 –> 00:28:39,120
this plan was going to work.
I mean, think about it for a

367
00:28:39,120 –> 00:28:44,480
moment, right?
So, so step one is Judah’s wife

368
00:28:44,480 –> 00:28:49,160
dies and then Judah wants to see
a prostitute.

369
00:28:49,960 –> 00:28:54,480
And then of everyone he’s
attracted to Temar.

370
00:28:56,120 –> 00:29:02,360
And then after one meeting
together, oh, of course he has

371
00:29:02,360 –> 00:29:08,840
no money, right?
Conveniently, and he’s willing

372
00:29:08,840 –> 00:29:12,320
to surrender an authentic form
of ID.

373
00:29:14,320 –> 00:29:16,720
Oh, by the way, Tamer gets
pregnant because, you know,

374
00:29:17,360 –> 00:29:19,960
obviously she hadn’t gotten
pregnant so far because I guess

375
00:29:19,960 –> 00:29:24,200
it could have been her, right?
Oh, and oh, oh, by the way, a

376
00:29:24,200 –> 00:29:26,400
child on the line of Christ is
born, right?

377
00:29:29,240 –> 00:29:31,840
How many places could this plan
have gone wrong?

378
00:29:34,200 –> 00:29:37,720
You ever, ever seen one of those
1950s?

379
00:29:37,720 –> 00:29:40,040
They used to have these, these,
these rubes and it was like a

380
00:29:40,040 –> 00:29:43,640
machine that had to do a simple
task in the most complicated way

381
00:29:43,640 –> 00:29:47,240
possible, right?
And, and at any point it can go

382
00:29:47,240 –> 00:29:54,920
wrong, but we have to recognize
that God’s bigger than our sin

383
00:29:55,760 –> 00:30:01,080
and can restore us and
accomplish his will and that,

384
00:30:01,160 –> 00:30:03,800
and that God’s actually working
the hardest, not when we’re

385
00:30:03,800 –> 00:30:07,800
perfect, but when when we’re
less than perfect.

386
00:30:09,280 –> 00:30:12,600
I mean, if you think that God
can only work with you when

387
00:30:12,600 –> 00:30:15,840
you’re not sinning, then I got
news for you.

388
00:30:16,600 –> 00:30:19,120
God’s not working with you very
much, right?

389
00:30:19,800 –> 00:30:21,920
Because you’re just not nearly
as good as you think you are.

390
00:30:21,920 –> 00:30:23,560
No, no, you really, you are
good.

391
00:30:24,440 –> 00:30:27,640
But, but you know, God’s got to
work with us when we’re less

392
00:30:27,640 –> 00:30:29,480
than perfect.
God’s got to work with us when

393
00:30:29,480 –> 00:30:31,960
we make mistakes.
You want God to work with you

394
00:30:32,400 –> 00:30:38,800
when you’re making mistakes.
So Tamar was not a harlot.

395
00:30:39,680 –> 00:30:42,480
She was not interested in
staying around and sleeping with

396
00:30:42,480 –> 00:30:45,480
the next man for money.
She was only interested in a

397
00:30:45,480 –> 00:30:50,600
kinsman Redeemer.
But Judah that day saw Tamar as

398
00:30:50,600 –> 00:30:55,080
a harlot.
And Tamar asks a pledge of

399
00:30:55,080 –> 00:30:59,880
Judah, his seal, his cord, and
his staff.

400
00:31:00,880 –> 00:31:06,680
Now Judah would have worn a
authentic seal or signet on a

401
00:31:06,680 –> 00:31:09,800
cord around his neck, and that
was his way of, of, of

402
00:31:09,920 –> 00:31:13,600
transacting official business.
It might have had some letters

403
00:31:13,600 –> 00:31:18,560
on it or could have had I, I, I
wonder if it had a lion on it.

404
00:31:18,560 –> 00:31:24,040
Which is why his father uses a
lion as a symbol for him, right?

405
00:31:26,440 –> 00:31:31,320
But Needless to say, it was
proof of Judah’s authenticity

406
00:31:31,480 –> 00:31:34,240
and his identity.
And beyond that, she asked for

407
00:31:34,240 –> 00:31:36,600
his shepherd’s staff.
And the shepherd’s staff would

408
00:31:36,600 –> 00:31:40,520
have been specifically decorated
for someone like Judah who was

409
00:31:40,520 –> 00:31:43,680
wealthy.
And so it would be undeniably

410
00:31:43,680 –> 00:31:46,880
associated with the owner.
And and you have to understand

411
00:31:46,880 –> 00:31:51,560
this is a lot to ask, right?
It’s a lot to ask.

412
00:31:51,560 –> 00:31:54,680
It’s actually unbelievable that
he agrees to give up both of

413
00:31:54,680 –> 00:32:01,080
these.
So Tamar immediately puts on her

414
00:32:01,080 –> 00:32:03,720
widow’s clothes and goes back to
her father’s house, how they

415
00:32:03,720 –> 00:32:08,040
accomplished her purpose.
And Judah sends a young goat by

416
00:32:08,040 –> 00:32:11,840
higher of the adulimite, but he
can’t find Tamar.

417
00:32:12,320 –> 00:32:17,480
So notice Judah’s words then in
Genesis chapter 28 and 38 and

418
00:32:17,480 –> 00:32:25,360
verse 23, he says, let her take
it to her lest we be shamed.

419
00:32:25,680 –> 00:32:29,960
So apparently walking down the
road to Timnath and saying, hey,

420
00:32:29,960 –> 00:32:32,920
where’s the prostitute is pretty
shameful, right?

421
00:32:35,480 –> 00:32:39,640
It’s interesting, right, that it
seems like Bill is full of

422
00:32:39,640 –> 00:32:43,600
resentment.
Like the last thing we want to

423
00:32:43,600 –> 00:32:46,920
be ashamed.
Like we’re really, we’re trying

424
00:32:46,920 –> 00:32:50,640
to avoid shame and
embarrassment.

425
00:32:52,080 –> 00:32:57,280
But the thing that we seem to
need more than anything is is to

426
00:32:57,280 –> 00:33:01,160
face that shame and to see the
truth.

427
00:33:04,480 –> 00:33:08,920
So three months later, the
record says, Tamar cannot hide

428
00:33:09,440 –> 00:33:14,280
her pregnancy, and she’s had
three months to think about

429
00:33:15,200 –> 00:33:20,080
Judah’s inevitable reaction.
Now, she knew the response would

430
00:33:20,080 –> 00:33:25,720
be strong because she would have
known Judah and Tamar’s family,

431
00:33:25,760 –> 00:33:29,000
already upset, I think, by the
fact that she had gone back to

432
00:33:29,000 –> 00:33:34,120
live with them.
You know, they wouldn’t be

433
00:33:34,480 –> 00:33:43,320
protecting her.
They’d feel disgraced by her

434
00:33:43,320 –> 00:33:49,880
pregnancy apart from marriage.
So, and they appear to be ready

435
00:33:49,880 –> 00:33:53,120
to, to burn Tamar on Judah’s
word.

436
00:33:54,240 –> 00:33:59,160
So by contrast, when Judah got
this news, he would have been

437
00:33:59,160 –> 00:34:03,880
thrilled, right?
Because he finally had a way

438
00:34:03,880 –> 00:34:05,880
out.
He had a way to get rid of

439
00:34:05,880 –> 00:34:09,760
Tamar, marry off his son, and
not lose face to him.

440
00:34:10,040 –> 00:34:12,400
He would he would have been he
would have been absolutely

441
00:34:12,400 –> 00:34:16,880
thrilled to get this news.
He probably had trouble

442
00:34:16,880 –> 00:34:20,639
controlling his joy.
It was a blessed anybody thought

443
00:34:20,679 –> 00:34:26,400
finally God’s blessing me right.
Finally, finally I get a break.

444
00:34:27,840 –> 00:34:29,600
Of course he was going to order
her to die.

445
00:34:30,840 –> 00:34:33,239
You know how long till he was
making plans about who he was

446
00:34:33,239 –> 00:34:35,520
going to marry Sheila off to,
right?

447
00:34:40,000 –> 00:34:45,440
So Tamar correctly anticipates
Judah’s likely reaction.

448
00:34:47,760 –> 00:34:52,639
And her next action, perhaps
more than any other, reveals the

449
00:34:52,639 –> 00:34:59,440
heart of this woman.
Before she died, she insisted

450
00:34:59,440 –> 00:35:05,400
that word was brought to Judah
and she hands over the seal, the

451
00:35:05,400 –> 00:35:10,720
court and the staff with this
message found in Genesis chapter

452
00:35:10,720 –> 00:35:18,560
38 and verse 25.
We read there by the man who

453
00:35:18,560 –> 00:35:27,280
these are am I with child?
And she said, discern, I pray

454
00:35:27,280 –> 00:35:33,080
thee, who these are the signet,
the bracelet and the staff.

455
00:35:37,240 –> 00:35:38,760
So let’s think about this for a
moment.

456
00:35:38,760 –> 00:35:41,720
Brothers and sisters, you’re
ready to kind of kind of

457
00:35:41,720 –> 00:35:49,080
consider some of these facts.
Tamar is about to die by

458
00:35:49,080 –> 00:35:54,160
burning.
She has an unborn child or

459
00:35:54,160 –> 00:35:58,120
actually children depending on
her.

460
00:36:00,400 –> 00:36:07,040
She is pregnant by Judah.
He is the one visiting harlots,

461
00:36:09,040 –> 00:36:12,960
not her.
She is only in this position

462
00:36:13,480 –> 00:36:16,240
because Judah has not provided
her a kinsman Redeemer.

463
00:36:17,720 –> 00:36:24,400
OK, now what would you do?
Wouldn’t you scream?

464
00:36:25,800 –> 00:36:29,520
Wouldn’t you tell everyone
around you that Judah was the

465
00:36:29,520 –> 00:36:32,080
Father?
Wouldn’t you do it to save your

466
00:36:32,080 –> 00:36:34,560
life?
What’d you do to save the life

467
00:36:34,560 –> 00:36:39,680
of your child?
Yet Tamar sends the messenger

468
00:36:41,440 –> 00:36:47,040
who asks, Discern, I pray thee,
who these are.

469
00:36:48,800 –> 00:36:57,120
What do you see it?
Do you see it around the

470
00:36:57,120 –> 00:37:02,400
sisters?
She would not shame Judah.

471
00:37:04,600 –> 00:37:08,320
She would not put the head of
her house to open shame.

472
00:37:13,620 –> 00:37:17,380
Upon receiving this message,
Judo would be face to face with

473
00:37:17,380 –> 00:37:21,540
a reality.
Tamar was a woman who was taken.

474
00:37:23,020 –> 00:37:27,300
Taken from her family, forced to
marry a wicked man, dishonored

475
00:37:27,300 –> 00:37:31,580
by another husband, accused of
causing death that she did not

476
00:37:31,580 –> 00:37:36,320
’cause forsaken and forgotten by
the one who had the legal duty

477
00:37:36,320 –> 00:37:39,800
to help her.
Left to a family who very likely

478
00:37:39,800 –> 00:37:44,760
didn’t want her back, who had
not taken her legal right to

479
00:37:44,760 –> 00:37:50,040
shame him and spit in his face,
who Heed is ordered to death for

480
00:37:50,040 –> 00:37:53,600
the indiscretion of carrying his
child.

481
00:37:58,840 –> 00:38:02,680
Upon receiving back his cord,
his seal, and his staff, and

482
00:38:02,680 –> 00:38:11,160
faced with the discretion of
Tamar’s question, Judah found

483
00:38:11,160 –> 00:38:16,000
himself face to face with
something he could not

484
00:38:16,000 –> 00:38:23,680
comprehend, something that he
could not fit on his balance of

485
00:38:23,680 –> 00:38:38,840
hurt and sin.
It was Grace comprehending this

486
00:38:40,200 –> 00:38:44,680
words escaped Judas lips that
would change him forever.

487
00:38:50,350 –> 00:38:54,670
She hath been more righteous
than I.

488
00:38:57,150 –> 00:38:59,310
In other words, you ready for
this?

489
00:39:01,910 –> 00:39:14,640
I am wrong.
Tamar had just obliterated the

490
00:39:14,640 –> 00:39:24,200
balance of childlike thinking.
She had acted with grace.

491
00:39:29,040 –> 00:39:40,560
It’s funny, we spend so much of
our lives looking for and

492
00:39:40,560 –> 00:39:46,960
finding false atonement in the
wrongs of others.

493
00:39:50,200 –> 00:39:55,680
We reasoned that the hurts done
to us provide some sort of

494
00:39:55,680 –> 00:40:02,800
covering for our sin and knowing
this about us.

495
00:40:04,080 –> 00:40:07,600
God chose to provide us,
brothers and sisters, a

496
00:40:07,600 –> 00:40:12,520
different type of atonement, a
better covering, not based on

497
00:40:12,520 –> 00:40:16,400
sin.
God’s atonement isn’t based on

498
00:40:16,400 –> 00:40:19,720
sin.
God’s atonement is based on

499
00:40:19,720 –> 00:40:22,480
righteousness.
And he calls that system of

500
00:40:22,480 –> 00:40:26,840
atonement grace.
And it’s fundamental premise of

501
00:40:26,840 –> 00:40:31,360
grace is that you don’t deserve
it.

502
00:40:33,480 –> 00:40:37,560
It is not even.
It is not fair.

503
00:40:40,440 –> 00:40:47,720
It is not fair, is it?
It is not even, is it?

504
00:40:50,280 –> 00:40:56,320
It is a gift.
And on that basis, by design, it

505
00:40:56,320 –> 00:41:01,960
will never, ever, ever conform
to the balance of childlike

506
00:41:01,960 –> 00:41:07,240
reasoning.
Instead, as we grow to

507
00:41:07,240 –> 00:41:13,320
understand the enormity of it,
it should displace that balance.

508
00:41:14,560 –> 00:41:19,680
It should displace fleshly
thinking with spiritual

509
00:41:19,680 –> 00:41:27,240
thinking.
What are brothers and sisters?

510
00:41:28,880 –> 00:41:32,320
What are the five selves of sin?
Self importance, self

511
00:41:32,320 –> 00:41:35,320
justification, self
righteousness, self pity, self

512
00:41:35,320 –> 00:41:39,680
gratification.
The object of each one of those

513
00:41:39,680 –> 00:41:46,440
is really just the same.
It’s to protect ourselves.

514
00:41:50,440 –> 00:41:52,600
And Tamar had just protected
Judah.

515
00:41:56,840 –> 00:42:03,840
And maybe now, just now, Judah
realize that’s spending the last

516
00:42:03,840 –> 00:42:11,760
39 years since Joseph’s birth
protecting himself had been the

517
00:42:11,760 –> 00:42:13,880
thing that had gotten him in so
much trouble.

518
00:42:19,660 –> 00:42:22,340
Have you ever done something
that you thought to yourself

519
00:42:23,180 –> 00:42:27,220
that if I could get caught,
that’d be the worst thing that

520
00:42:27,220 –> 00:42:31,540
could happen?
When in reality, when you look

521
00:42:31,540 –> 00:42:36,200
back, getting caught was the
best thing that happened?

522
00:42:40,360 –> 00:42:48,720
I have, you know, via this
confession, she is more

523
00:42:48,720 –> 00:42:53,120
righteous than I.
Judah’s own sin was now open to

524
00:42:53,120 –> 00:42:59,800
public scrutiny.
It is this openness and honesty,

525
00:43:00,680 –> 00:43:07,040
in contrast to denial and brain
blame that helps bring about the

526
00:43:07,040 –> 00:43:12,680
crucial change in attitude.
But that change of attitude,

527
00:43:12,680 –> 00:43:15,080
that humility, You know, if the
problem starts with self

528
00:43:15,080 –> 00:43:18,440
importance, guess what?
The answer begins with humility.

529
00:43:23,240 –> 00:43:25,320
So says James in James chapter
4.

530
00:43:27,320 –> 00:43:30,360
Humble yourself.
Draw near.

531
00:43:32,280 –> 00:43:35,400
But but this change of attitude
is only useful insofar as

532
00:43:35,400 –> 00:43:37,880
something else important
happens.

533
00:43:38,120 –> 00:43:42,320
And that’s making things right.
Now look back to this balance of

534
00:43:43,720 –> 00:43:46,840
childlike reasoning.
Now imagine for a moment,

535
00:43:46,840 –> 00:43:50,480
brothers, sisters, just imagine
that you said, you know what?

536
00:43:50,600 –> 00:43:54,160
Holding on to those hurts.
That’s a bad idea I should

537
00:43:54,160 –> 00:43:57,360
really forgive.
And you think to yourself,

538
00:43:57,360 –> 00:44:00,000
that’s what I’m going to do, I’m
going to forgive.

539
00:44:00,000 –> 00:44:02,200
So what I’m going to do is I’m
going to forgive all my hurts.

540
00:44:02,200 –> 00:44:11,440
I’m just going to move on.
But for most of us, that’s

541
00:44:11,440 –> 00:44:17,320
nearly impossible to do.
And Judah’s story gives us a

542
00:44:17,320 –> 00:44:19,880
hint to why.
See, the problem with forgiving

543
00:44:19,880 –> 00:44:25,120
others their hurts, is that
what’s left to balance out the

544
00:44:25,120 –> 00:44:29,680
sins that you still haven’t
repented of.

545
00:44:31,920 –> 00:44:36,640
I wonder if even subconsciously
we have trouble forgiving

546
00:44:37,200 –> 00:44:42,360
because we need we need these to
cover this.

547
00:44:45,200 –> 00:44:49,080
How can you forgive the hurts
when you need the hurts?

548
00:44:51,880 –> 00:44:56,080
Because there’s a sin you
haven’t repented of, but it’s OK

549
00:44:56,200 –> 00:45:04,880
because you’ve been hurt and so
you need that hurt, so you nurse

550
00:45:04,880 –> 00:45:12,200
it and you cherish it and you
love it and you know that you

551
00:45:12,200 –> 00:45:16,200
can forgive but you can’t.
Why?

552
00:45:19,200 –> 00:45:28,080
Because you got this.
And you’ve been atoning for this

553
00:45:28,400 –> 00:45:41,480
for years with the wrong thing.
Fortunately, now to the set of

554
00:45:41,480 –> 00:45:45,040
circumstances he was under
Judah’s pride was sufficiently

555
00:45:45,040 –> 00:45:47,960
deflated for Judah to start
putting things right.

556
00:45:48,280 –> 00:45:50,240
What are some of the things he
started to put right?

557
00:45:53,120 –> 00:45:55,760
Well, before we start about
that, you know the solution for

558
00:45:55,760 –> 00:45:58,360
resentment.
I wrote this down because I

559
00:45:58,360 –> 00:45:59,920
didn’t want to forget how to say
it.

560
00:46:00,640 –> 00:46:07,200
The solution for resentment is
often not found firstly in

561
00:46:07,200 –> 00:46:14,720
forgiveness.
It’s found first in putting

562
00:46:14,720 –> 00:46:19,760
right the sins.
We have justified using

563
00:46:19,760 –> 00:46:26,640
resentment, typically in
response to God’s love and

564
00:46:26,640 –> 00:46:30,400
grace.
Once we do that, forgiveness is

565
00:46:30,400 –> 00:46:36,680
often the natural result.
So Judah had to seem some things

566
00:46:36,680 –> 00:46:42,320
he had to put right.
For example, he had to protect

567
00:46:42,320 –> 00:46:46,600
Tamar for any further harm he
had.

568
00:46:46,680 –> 00:46:50,600
He had to openly acknowledge the
secrets that Tamar had chosen to

569
00:46:50,600 –> 00:46:55,760
reveal discreetly.
He had to join back with the

570
00:46:55,760 –> 00:47:03,680
ecclesia, and he had to agree to
know Tamar no more and think

571
00:47:03,680 –> 00:47:09,480
about how amazing God is,
because she needed two sons for

572
00:47:09,480 –> 00:47:13,280
two dead husbands, and so God
gave her twins.

573
00:47:18,480 –> 00:47:24,960
So what does the balance look
like when we make right, as best

574
00:47:24,960 –> 00:47:31,600
as we’re able, our sins?
We’re out of balance this time.

575
00:47:32,240 –> 00:47:34,920
But in this instance, we don’t
fall into self pity.

576
00:47:36,160 –> 00:47:40,320
Now we take the courageous step
to forgive our hurts.

577
00:47:43,680 –> 00:47:49,680
And why do we forgive?
We forgive because we no longer

578
00:47:49,680 –> 00:47:55,840
need hurt and blame to justify
or rationalize our sinful

579
00:47:55,840 –> 00:48:07,240
response.
So what’s the process that Judah

580
00:48:07,240 –> 00:48:09,280
appears to go down thanks to
Tamar?

581
00:48:09,960 –> 00:48:14,320
Well, I think the first thing
that happens to Judah is that he

582
00:48:14,320 –> 00:48:20,600
receives grace.
The second thing happens is he

583
00:48:20,600 –> 00:48:26,880
makes a confession.
The third thing that happens is

584
00:48:26,880 –> 00:48:30,960
he makes amends for his
mistakes.

585
00:48:31,640 –> 00:48:36,160
Tamar was now welcome
permanently in his household.

586
00:48:37,320 –> 00:48:40,120
She would no longer be the
subject of any shame.

587
00:48:41,400 –> 00:48:44,960
She would no longer have any
question of her security.

588
00:48:48,880 –> 00:48:57,800
Then he forgives the hurt, and
then he begins to live

589
00:48:57,800 –> 00:49:06,240
unselfishly.
I think this is how it works

590
00:49:06,240 –> 00:49:09,360
with us, brothers and sisters.
You see, we are first the

591
00:49:09,360 –> 00:49:16,320
recipient of grace and then
touched by the enormity of that

592
00:49:19,560 –> 00:49:23,240
of our forgiven sin, then we
forgive others that.

593
00:49:23,240 –> 00:49:34,920
That’s the order.
Ephesians 4 verse 32 says be

594
00:49:34,920 –> 00:49:41,520
kind one to another, tender
hearted, forgiving one another,

595
00:49:42,440 –> 00:49:47,640
even as God for Christ’s sake
has forgiven you.

596
00:49:49,440 –> 00:49:55,280
That’s the order.
So how long, brother and

597
00:49:55,280 –> 00:50:00,320
sisters, until Judah moves back
home and leaves Canaanite life?

598
00:50:01,520 –> 00:50:04,000
Given our time frames, I don’t
think long at all.

599
00:50:04,000 –> 00:50:06,840
I actually think Tamar comes
into his home.

600
00:50:07,200 –> 00:50:11,320
He packs up from a Dome.
He says see you later to to hire

601
00:50:12,280 –> 00:50:17,080
A and he goes straight back
because, you know, there was a

602
00:50:17,080 –> 00:50:22,560
famine in the land and he heard
that his father and his brothers

603
00:50:22,560 –> 00:50:26,680
weren’t doing very well.
How could he face them again?

604
00:50:30,240 –> 00:50:33,000
See, there’s still one sin that
Judah couldn’t make right,

605
00:50:33,280 –> 00:50:37,160
Wasn’t there?
The one that had caused him the

606
00:50:37,160 –> 00:50:41,400
most pain for the last 22 years,
The one that he thought he was

607
00:50:41,400 –> 00:50:47,600
powerless to do anything about,
and the one that God would now

608
00:50:47,600 –> 00:50:51,680
begin the process of intervening
to make him whole.