322: Ben Brinkerhoff – The Seeds of Resentment

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Welcome to good Chris Selfian
talks.

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I’m Levi.
I’m Chris.

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I’m Jason.
And I’m Brian, thank you for

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joining us this week.
On this podcast, we select one

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talk a week to help us get the
Bible in our Daily News feed.

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Each week we post talk that we
previewed from suggestions sent

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in by listeners from around the
world.

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Then we record a short intro
beforehand as a personalized

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recommendation to you on why we
are sharing the talk.

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And now let’s talk more about
this week’s talk.

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Hi everyone, it’s Jason Hensley.
This week we are going to be

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listening to a class by brother
Ben Brinkerhoff given in 2023 at

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the Rocky Mountain Bible School.
This is the first in his series

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of five.
It’s all about resentment.

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The whole series is and yet it’s
sort of like a case study of

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Judah, the brother of Joseph and
the son of Jacob.

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I liked this Series A lot, and
in fact, I had a hard time

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choosing which of the five
classes to put up here.

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But ultimately, what I decided
to go with was really the first

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class, primarily because I hope
that you listen to the other

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ones.
And thus I didn’t want to start

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you off on Class 4 or Class 5.
I feel like it’s a little bit

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harder to listen to the rest of
the series when you start in the

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middle.
So I chose class one just

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because hopefully it lays that
foundation for you to then be

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able to go and listen to the
others.

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This is a series, as I said, on
resentment.

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I think it’s one of those things
that we all struggle with.

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We all struggle with letting go,
and in considering the story of

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Judah, we’re given some
incredibly powerful and

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beautiful pictures of God’s
grace in action and what that

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grace inspires Judah to do.
So I hope you enjoy this and I

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hope you enjoy the rest of the
series.

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So here’s Ben Briggerhoff, Rocky
Mountain Bible School 2023, and

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this class is titled The Seeds
of Resentment.

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Good morning, Rocky Band Bible
school.

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All right, wow.
Raise your hand if you are a

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Brinkerhoff or married to one,
right?

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Thank you for the support.
Raise your hand if you want to

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be married to a Brinkerhoff,
right?

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See Dave and Nancy, I did that
for you.

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Ask that during the teen class
and get some interesting

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responses.
I think I’ll let you know how

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that goes.
I listen I I bring warm

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greetings from your brothers and
sisters in the Christchurch, N

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Ecclesia in New Zealand.
My only sadness really is the

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fact my wife Alyssa and my four
children cannot be with me this

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week.
They want me to convey their

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love to you as well.
So you know, Jesus tells us and

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brother Josh, even last night he
says, listen, there’s two great

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commandments and you know what
they are.

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So the love of the Lord your God
with all your heart, soul, mind

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and strength.
And what’s the other one?

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If also love your neighbor as
yourself, right?

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And we and Christian Elphis, we
love, we love this, we love it.

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We like to talk about it, we
like to expound it, we like to

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discuss it, exhort on it.
It’s just the doing it that’s

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hard.
That’s the part.

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That’s the part that’s hard.
And you ask yourself the

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question, why?
What’s getting in the way?

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Listen to love your neighbors
yourself.

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It’s this verse is found in
Matthew, it’s found in Mark,

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it’s found in Luke, it’s found
in Galatians and Romans.

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And if you missed the point,
it’s found in the book of James.

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It’s everywhere, right?
And what what’s getting in our

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way?
And if you go back to the Rick

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of the verse in its original
context in Leviticus, I think we

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get a clue to what the problem
might be.

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OK Leviticus chapter 19 and
verse 17 for context.

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You shall not hate your brother
in your heart, but you shall

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reason with your neighbor, who
lest you bear sin because of

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him, you shall not take
vengeance or bear any grudge

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against the sons of your own
people, but you shall love your

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neighbor as yourself.
I am the Lord so.

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So why do we find so much
trouble following this beautiful

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commandment of the Lord?
Perhaps the reason is, is that

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we’re bearing a grudge.
And if we have hate in our heart

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and we’re bearing a grudge, we,
we can’t love.

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It’s, it’s like bearing a grudge
and love.

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It’s like they’re these
opposites.

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Admit it.
If you have, if you are bearing

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a grudge in your heart, love is
very hard.

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And if you have a lot of love in
your heart, you’re probably not

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bearing very many grudges.
These, these things are like

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opposites to one another.
And, and I’d like to talk to you

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this week from time to time
about love, if I can.

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But you know, if, if I talk to
you about love and you’re being

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a grudge, it’s like taking a cup
full of that’s full of water and

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putting under a spigot and the,
the listen, the water’s going to

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hit the cup.
It’s just run over the side.

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It’s not going to stick.
Because if you have a grudge in

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your heart that is, that is
actually preventing you from

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from having love.
So for its simplicity in these

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studies I’m going to refer to
grudges and hate primarily using

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this word resentment because
it’s a word that captures the

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attitude of the person I want to
consider together.

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Now resentment comes from 2
parts of speech.

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The first word is re and not as
in my uncle’s name.

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No re as in to do again as in
restore or replay, right?

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You’re doing something again.
And the second part of speech

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this word derives from is this
word sentire, which is Latin for

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to feel.
So the word resentment really

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means to feel again.
And it’s appropriate word for

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someone who is bearing a grudge.
Many of us feel old hurts and

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pains again and again and, and,
and we replay the scene.

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You know how it is, admit it.
You replay the scene in your

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brain and, and, and you and you
re victimize yourself while

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while simultaneously and
ironically promising that you’re

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never going to let yourself be
hurt like that again.

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Whilst you are thinking about
the thing that hurts you, whilst

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you are hurting yourself again,
right?

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I see some nods.
You know who you are, right?

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Right.
I believe that all of us

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struggle with this.
So what can we do about it?

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Perhaps one of the best things
we can do about it is to look at

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the example in scripture of one
who overcame resentment.

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And now Leviticus says you shall
not hate your brother in your

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heart.
And the Bible reads, leaves a

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record of a man that did hate
his brother in his heart and he

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appeared to have every valid
reason to do so.

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And his name was Judah.
Now consider, consider for a

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moment Judah.
Judah goes from hating his

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brother to selling him into
slavery to lying about it to his

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father.
This is notice the downward

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trend here.
It’s not getting any better,

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right?
He runs away from the ecclesia,

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then he marries in the world.
Oh, and then he falls into

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sexual sin.
This is Judah.

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And then he sacrifices himself
for his father.

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How does someone go from there
back up to here?

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How does that happen?
How can I do that?

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How can you do that?
So in our first 3 1/2 studies

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together, we’re going to see how
Judah unwillingly falls into the

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pit of resentment.
And our last 1 1/2 studies,

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we’re going to see how God lifts
him out of that pit and restores

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him.
So for today’s class, we’re

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going to look at where Judah’s
resentment originated, and we’ll

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conclude with some thoughts
about how the process of

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resentment works within us, if
that’s OK, brothers and sisters.

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Now Judah was born the fourth
son of Jacob by his mother Leia.

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His name means praise and upon
his birth his mother says in

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Genesis 29 and verse 35, his
mother says, now I will praise

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the Lord.
Therefore she called his name

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Judah and left bearing.
Now, perhaps more than anything,

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I think this speaks to the
character of Leah, a woman that

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called on God’s memorial name
and praise.

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I mean, she goes from seeking
the praise and approval of her

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husband.
Remember she called Levi Levi

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because she’s saying, now my
husband will be joined unto me.

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She’s seeking what she’s seeking
the approval and affections of

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her husband.
And now with with, with Judah,

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she’s she’s calling on God’s
name and praise and she appears

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to have adopted the God of Jacob
as her own.

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But, but Jacob doesn’t see her
in this light.

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So perhaps blinded by Rachel’s
beauty or being deceived, angry,

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being deceived at Laban
Scripture uses really strong

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language to describe the state
of Leah in this household.

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And turn with me to Genesis
chapter 29 and we’re going to

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look at this verses 30 and 31.
And it says there Jacob went in

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unto Rachel, and he loved also
Rachel more than Leah, and

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served with him yet seven other
years.

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And the Lord saw that Leah was
hated, and he opened her womb,

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but Rachel was barren.
So Leah was hated and God saw

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it.
Now we know that Leah was not as

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pretty as her sister, but you
wonder for a moment, what did

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Judah and his brethren see when
they looked at Leah?

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Do you think to them that Leah
was beautiful?

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To me my mother is beautiful.
And I thought that before I had

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any concept of of looks or
attraction.

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You know, a mother is beautiful
because of the way she loves her

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child.
You know the, the way a child is

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loved by a it’s, it’s different
than any love a man ever

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receives in any other part of
his life.

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Listen, wives, you know you
don’t love us the way our

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mothers did.
You know we still, you know you

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don’t, right?
And for a while, we resented you

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for it, right?
It’s a special type of love

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because it is just like, you
know, I could, I listen, my,

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I’ve done a lot of bad things
and my mom defended me for most

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of them.
You know, my wife doesn’t do

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that, right?
And it’s a special thing, you

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know?
So, so you know, Can you

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imagine?
I just want you to imagine Judah

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not being able to understand
Jacob’s disposition towards his

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mother that that although she
was devoted to the chores and

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requirements of the household,
that she was clearly second

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best.
Now have you ever seen your

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mother cry?
Did you want to save her?

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Do you want to rescue her?
So how was Judah understand that

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all his mother was faithful and
she loved the Lord and she

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devoted herself to the family?
That all she got was constant

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heartache being a a distant
second in her husband’s

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affections.
You know there’s no justice in

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it.
There’s no right in it See

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resentment.
It typically stems from a real

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or perceived injustice and I
think this is where the seeds of

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Jews resentment come from.
I, I try, I scanned the web to

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find a, a, a picture that could
capture the essence of what

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injustice feels like.
And I think you’re going to, I

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think you’re going to sympathize
with this picture.

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You know what?
What do you think?

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Right?
I mean, clearly resentment is

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not a problem only for adults is
what that tells you right away,

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right?
So, but, but more to the point,

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at what age you think that that
Judah and his brethren began to

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realize that Leah was not the
only victim of Jacob’s

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favoritism?
At what age did he suspect that

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Jacob’s favoritism, it carried
over to the next generation?

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You know, suspicions would have
started young, but they would

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have been confirmed in
adolescence.

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And I tell you the point in
which they were crystallized.

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Turn with me over to Genesis
chapter 33, verses 1 and 2,

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where these suspicions and
concerns were crystallized in in

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the young mind of Judah.
Genesis chapter 33 and turning

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in at verse one.
And Jacob lifted up his eyes and

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looked, And behold, Esau came,
and with him 400 men.

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00:15:22,320 –> 00:15:25,040
And he divided the children unto
Leah, and unto Rachel, and unto

218
00:15:25,040 –> 00:15:28,000
the two handmaids.
And he put the handmaids and

219
00:15:28,000 –> 00:15:32,840
their children foremost, and
Leah and her children after, and

220
00:15:32,840 –> 00:15:37,440
Rachel and Joseph hindmost.
It doesn’t take any kind of

221
00:15:37,800 –> 00:15:40,880
degree in military strategy to
understand Jacob’s intentions

222
00:15:40,880 –> 00:15:42,920
here.
You can imagine Judah looking at

223
00:15:42,920 –> 00:15:49,000
the situation and realizing to
himself, wow, if someone has to

224
00:15:49,000 –> 00:15:54,840
die, my father would prefer it
was me, my brethren and my

225
00:15:54,840 –> 00:16:03,040
mother before Rachel and Joseph.
You know, at this point he would

226
00:16:03,040 –> 00:16:08,600
become hyper aware of Joseph.
He would he would look for any

227
00:16:08,600 –> 00:16:12,840
evidence of special treatment
and there was evidence of

228
00:16:12,840 –> 00:16:15,680
special treatment.
And when he found it, he would

229
00:16:15,680 –> 00:16:19,160
wince in pain because his worst
fears were being realized.

230
00:16:20,440 –> 00:16:26,000
See, deep inside every child you
know, this is a deep desire to

231
00:16:26,000 –> 00:16:32,520
be loved because love fills an
unconscious and deep need for

232
00:16:32,520 –> 00:16:37,040
security.
Children feel safe when they’re

233
00:16:37,040 –> 00:16:41,040
loved because their existence
depends on the unselfish love of

234
00:16:41,040 –> 00:16:43,680
their parents.
So if parental love is

235
00:16:43,680 –> 00:16:49,200
threatened in any way, real or
perceived, you’re going to feel

236
00:16:49,200 –> 00:16:52,040
it instantly.
You’re going to feel it deeply.

237
00:16:53,520 –> 00:16:57,120
And in Judah’s case, resentment
is not born out of perceived

238
00:16:57,120 –> 00:17:01,040
injustice, but injustice
regarding a deep and instinctual

239
00:17:01,040 –> 00:17:05,680
need for security.
And what greater security can

240
00:17:05,680 –> 00:17:09,720
you have than when being
threatened by an enemy that your

241
00:17:09,720 –> 00:17:11,640
father’s terrified is going to
kill you?

242
00:17:15,640 –> 00:17:18,720
So in Genesis 37, as Jacob’s
sons grow in strength and

243
00:17:18,720 –> 00:17:22,119
independence, their insecurity
and pain is transformed into

244
00:17:22,119 –> 00:17:25,280
another feeling, and that’s
described to us in the Bible as

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00:17:25,280 –> 00:17:27,760
hatred.
And turn over to Genesis chapter

246
00:17:27,760 –> 00:17:32,120
37 now, and we’re going to look
at verses 3:00 to 4:00.

247
00:17:33,920 –> 00:17:38,200
Now Israel loved Joseph more
than all his children because he

248
00:17:38,200 –> 00:17:41,680
was the son of his old age and
he made him a coat of many

249
00:17:41,680 –> 00:17:44,600
colors.
When his brethren saw that their

250
00:17:44,600 –> 00:17:50,640
father loved Joseph more than
all his brethren, they hated

251
00:17:50,640 –> 00:17:54,080
Joseph and could not speak
peaceably unto him.

252
00:17:54,080 –> 00:17:58,400
You know, we learned more about
the brother’s feelings in verses

253
00:17:58,400 –> 00:18:02,320
8:00 and 11:00.
In verse 8 we read, And the

254
00:18:02,320 –> 00:18:06,280
brethren said unto Joseph, Shalt
thou indeed reign over us, or

255
00:18:06,280 –> 00:18:08,440
shalt thou indeed have dominion
over us?

256
00:18:08,480 –> 00:18:12,880
And they hated him yet more for
his dreams and for his words.

257
00:18:13,320 –> 00:18:17,440
And in verse 11 we read, And the
brethren envied him, but his

258
00:18:17,440 –> 00:18:21,680
father observed the saying.
So here we come to one of the

259
00:18:21,680 –> 00:18:23,360
inevitable outcomes of
resentment.

260
00:18:23,360 –> 00:18:26,520
I’m going to describe to you 3
inevitable symptoms of

261
00:18:26,520 –> 00:18:28,840
resentment.
Sometimes you don’t know if you

262
00:18:28,840 –> 00:18:32,160
have resentment, but you can see
the symptoms and one of the

263
00:18:32,160 –> 00:18:35,600
symptoms of resentment is
displaced anger.

264
00:18:35,600 –> 00:18:39,680
It’s a displaced anger is a is a
new term for an old idea.

265
00:18:40,200 –> 00:18:44,840
It occurs when, with, when, who
or what you’re venting your

266
00:18:44,840 –> 00:18:47,640
anger at is not ultimately the
source of your anger.

267
00:18:48,640 –> 00:18:52,840
Everyone knows this.
I I come home from work and

268
00:18:52,840 –> 00:18:57,000
Alyssa’s had a bad day and she’s
been looking forward to me

269
00:18:57,000 –> 00:19:01,840
coming home from work, but then
I do one thing out of place and

270
00:19:01,840 –> 00:19:06,640
now she’s mad at me.
But she’s not mad at me, she’s

271
00:19:06,640 –> 00:19:09,800
just frustrated.
I was supposed to be the savior

272
00:19:09,800 –> 00:19:12,560
and it turns out I was, I turned
up and I was just being another

273
00:19:12,560 –> 00:19:18,920
problem, right?
Happens a lot, you know, or I’ve

274
00:19:18,920 –> 00:19:23,240
had a bad day at work, right?
And I come home, you know, and

275
00:19:23,240 –> 00:19:26,640
they’re my again.
I don’t like my kids are going

276
00:19:26,640 –> 00:19:28,680
to listen to this recording one
day and be upset at me.

277
00:19:29,040 –> 00:19:31,160
There’s the backpack right by
the door.

278
00:19:31,160 –> 00:19:32,840
You know, you’re something you
trip over it.

279
00:19:32,840 –> 00:19:35,160
Any dad’s ever tripped over the
backpack as he came through the

280
00:19:35,160 –> 00:19:36,480
door, right?
Anything.

281
00:19:36,640 –> 00:19:39,720
What is this backpack?
I’m not angry at the backpack

282
00:19:39,720 –> 00:19:41,600
I’m missing.
I’m angry at the stress I’ve had

283
00:19:41,600 –> 00:19:44,640
that day.
I’m displacing the anger.

284
00:19:45,200 –> 00:19:49,080
I’m putting it at the thing I
can, I can kick the thing I can,

285
00:19:49,080 –> 00:19:51,680
I can take out my frustration
on.

286
00:19:52,280 –> 00:19:55,920
So Judah’s and his brother’s
first problem with Joseph isn’t

287
00:19:55,920 –> 00:19:58,600
Joseph.
It was the love and emotional

288
00:19:58,600 –> 00:20:02,280
security they didn’t receive
from their father, but put it in

289
00:20:02,280 –> 00:20:08,200
a position where they couldn’t
direct that fear and anger

290
00:20:08,200 –> 00:20:10,800
towards their father.
They displaced it and they put

291
00:20:10,800 –> 00:20:15,400
it on Joseph.
See, Judah knew something really

292
00:20:15,400 –> 00:20:16,600
well.
Do you know what he knew?

293
00:20:17,680 –> 00:20:20,560
He knew what it was like to be
second place in the household.

294
00:20:22,080 –> 00:20:25,080
He’d seen it.
How many countless times had he

295
00:20:25,080 –> 00:20:29,200
seen his mother’s tears as Jacob
once again went into Rachel’s

296
00:20:29,200 –> 00:20:33,840
tent and not Leah’s tent?
How many times had he seen his

297
00:20:33,840 –> 00:20:37,800
mother’s extraordinary efforts
and hard work and diligence not

298
00:20:37,800 –> 00:20:40,200
go rewarded for any praise or
affections?

299
00:20:41,400 –> 00:20:43,960
See, he knew what it was like to
be second best and he wanted no

300
00:20:43,960 –> 00:20:48,120
part of it.
Now it’s fascinating to me that

301
00:20:48,120 –> 00:20:51,840
the two attitudes that Judah and
his brethren demonstrate towards

302
00:20:51,840 –> 00:20:54,880
Joseph we’re we’re told there in
chapter 37, there are two things

303
00:20:54,880 –> 00:20:58,360
we’re told.
One is hate and the other is

304
00:20:58,360 –> 00:21:02,720
envy.
Now it’s probably not

305
00:21:02,720 –> 00:21:08,200
coincidence that these are the
the exact 2 attitudes that Judah

306
00:21:08,200 –> 00:21:11,040
would experience growing up,
right?

307
00:21:11,240 –> 00:21:14,520
We already read about hate,
didn’t we, when which says that

308
00:21:14,520 –> 00:21:17,120
Leah was hated and and so God
opened her womb.

309
00:21:17,360 –> 00:21:20,920
But what about envy?
We read about envy in Genesis

310
00:21:20,920 –> 00:21:25,160
chapter 30 verse one.
We read there and Rachel saw

311
00:21:25,200 –> 00:21:30,360
that she bared Jacob no children
and Rachel envied her sister and

312
00:21:30,360 –> 00:21:32,600
said to Jacob give me children
else I die.

313
00:21:33,400 –> 00:21:36,560
So what this table shows is is
what what Judah learned as a

314
00:21:36,560 –> 00:21:40,680
child.
He learned envy and he saw

315
00:21:40,720 –> 00:21:44,760
hatred.
Well, it just so happens that

316
00:21:44,760 –> 00:21:46,240
what does he act out as an
adult?

317
00:21:48,640 –> 00:21:51,680
His brethren envied him and they
hated him.

318
00:21:55,200 –> 00:22:02,280
We can observe this irony.
Hurt people seem to hurt people

319
00:22:03,280 –> 00:22:08,000
the way they were hurt.
Just observe that for a moment.

320
00:22:08,000 –> 00:22:09,480
Do you see that to be true in
yourself?

321
00:22:10,960 –> 00:22:17,320
Hurt people seem to hurt people
often the way they were hurt.

322
00:22:17,560 –> 00:22:20,040
I’ll give you a obvious example
right there from Genesis.

323
00:22:22,000 –> 00:22:26,880
You think Jacob liked it that
Isaac seemed to favor Esau over

324
00:22:26,880 –> 00:22:29,400
him.
You think he liked that kind of

325
00:22:29,400 –> 00:22:32,520
favoritism, But what does he do
to his kids?

326
00:22:34,600 –> 00:22:38,000
Hurt people seem to hurt people
often the way they’ve been hurt.

327
00:22:39,880 –> 00:22:43,040
So the point here is that is
that Judas suffered in a home

328
00:22:43,040 –> 00:22:45,640
full of of what?
Two things, hatred and envy.

329
00:22:46,080 –> 00:22:48,600
And he does the same.
And that takes us to a second

330
00:22:48,600 –> 00:22:52,680
symptom of resentment, which is,
which is modeling.

331
00:22:55,720 –> 00:22:58,120
Judah models the behaviors that
hurt him.

332
00:22:59,480 –> 00:23:01,360
It’s not that Judas set out to
be hypocrite.

333
00:23:01,360 –> 00:23:05,240
It’s just that modeling is
unfortunately a common outcome

334
00:23:05,240 –> 00:23:11,520
of resentment.
See this word envy in Genesis

335
00:23:11,520 –> 00:23:14,760
37, verse 11.
This, this is an interesting

336
00:23:14,760 –> 00:23:19,840
word, right?
It, it’s the word kana QANA

337
00:23:19,840 –> 00:23:24,560
kana, right?
And it, it drives from an Arabic

338
00:23:24,560 –> 00:23:29,600
word which means to become very
red, right?

339
00:23:30,240 –> 00:23:37,960
And and it’s meaning is to burn
with zeal for any purpose or

340
00:23:37,960 –> 00:23:43,000
anything to excite to jealousy.
No, this, this is it wasn’t like

341
00:23:43,040 –> 00:23:46,840
envy going Oh yeah, I like her
sweater.

342
00:23:47,560 –> 00:23:49,200
I’d look better in that sweater
than she would.

343
00:23:50,160 –> 00:23:55,200
Not that I’ll tell her yet.
It’s not that kind of envy,

344
00:23:55,200 –> 00:23:57,640
right?
This is this is this is in the,

345
00:23:57,800 –> 00:24:00,600
this is in the depths of your,
you know, your stomach’s

346
00:24:00,600 –> 00:24:05,520
burning, right?
They become very red for a thing

347
00:24:05,720 –> 00:24:08,920
like your, your facial
complexion is starting to change

348
00:24:08,920 –> 00:24:13,400
color, right?
Because in, in with in your

349
00:24:13,400 –> 00:24:17,560
insides.
And do you think you can control

350
00:24:17,560 –> 00:24:20,200
a feeling like that?
You think you want to turn that

351
00:24:20,200 –> 00:24:22,520
on?
You think you wake up in the

352
00:24:22,520 –> 00:24:24,240
morning going, do you know what
I want to do today?

353
00:24:24,240 –> 00:24:26,560
I’ll take out the garbage and
then I’ll sit there and become

354
00:24:26,560 –> 00:24:31,240
red and feel horrible, right?
You don’t ask for that feeling.

355
00:24:32,160 –> 00:24:35,440
It sits there and you can’t wish
it away.

356
00:24:35,680 –> 00:24:38,440
Ever had one of those feelings?
You just wish it away going,

357
00:24:38,480 –> 00:24:43,040
God, I do not want this feeling.
You can’t wish that feeling

358
00:24:43,040 –> 00:24:48,040
away.
You know, they’re not

359
00:24:48,040 –> 00:24:52,680
intellectualizing this.
They’re not saying, you know

360
00:24:52,680 –> 00:24:55,520
that Joseph Chep, he’s a bit of
a goody goody, isn’t he?

361
00:24:56,240 –> 00:24:59,560
You know this isn’t a mental
thing, right?

362
00:25:00,000 –> 00:25:04,800
They’re they’re feeling this
envy in the in the depth of

363
00:25:04,800 –> 00:25:07,120
their gut.
It says they couldn’t speak

364
00:25:07,520 –> 00:25:09,760
peace to him.
They couldn’t speak Shalom.

365
00:25:11,520 –> 00:25:13,720
What do you tell me?
How do you speak peace when

366
00:25:13,720 –> 00:25:17,920
you’re not feeling any peace?
There’s no peace in Khanna.

367
00:25:19,240 –> 00:25:24,840
Khanna is the opposite of peace.
Khanna is burning up with envy.

368
00:25:26,320 –> 00:25:28,600
And that’s where the brethren
were at this point in time.

369
00:25:31,000 –> 00:25:34,280
They’re fuelled by insecurity.
They feel a deep sense of

370
00:25:34,280 –> 00:25:38,880
injustice.
And when you have envy deeply

371
00:25:38,880 –> 00:25:44,040
burning inside of you, what do
you do admit to yourself?

372
00:25:44,040 –> 00:25:49,080
Have you ever felt that burning
sense of agitation inside of

373
00:25:49,080 –> 00:25:52,040
you?
Have you struck out as a result

374
00:25:52,040 –> 00:25:55,600
of that?
Have you struck out in violence

375
00:25:55,680 –> 00:26:01,520
as a result of that?
Ever done something you’re

376
00:26:01,520 –> 00:26:04,480
ashamed of because it was the
only way you knew to calm that

377
00:26:04,480 –> 00:26:09,880
inner man?
In this situation, Judah and his

378
00:26:09,880 –> 00:26:12,040
brethren can’t help but lash out
of their brother.

379
00:26:14,320 –> 00:26:18,320
As we know the brothers anger
and resentment was exacerbated

380
00:26:18,320 –> 00:26:20,480
by Joseph’s dreams.
And the brothers say to Joseph

381
00:26:20,480 –> 00:26:24,520
in Genesis 37, verse 8, Shalt
thou indeed reign over us, or

382
00:26:24,520 –> 00:26:26,440
shalt thou indeed have dominion
over us?

383
00:26:27,560 –> 00:26:30,480
And they hated him yet more for
his dreams and for his words.

384
00:26:32,160 –> 00:26:36,840
And when we’re in a deep sense
state of hurt and envy, the

385
00:26:36,840 –> 00:26:41,120
brothers intuitively and
unconsciously perform the third

386
00:26:41,120 –> 00:26:47,360
symptom of resentment.
And that third symptom is skewed

387
00:26:47,360 –> 00:26:53,000
judgement.
And of course, when they judge

388
00:26:53,000 –> 00:26:57,080
the brothers judge Joseph, they,
they twist all the information

389
00:26:57,080 –> 00:27:01,520
in the worst possible way.
You know how this works, right?

390
00:27:01,520 –> 00:27:05,600
When you’re in a grumpy state of
mind, you know, you know how

391
00:27:05,600 –> 00:27:09,120
you’re a state of that mind
where every tone of voice is too

392
00:27:09,120 –> 00:27:13,560
sarcastic, right?
Every duty we have to do, it’s

393
00:27:13,560 –> 00:27:16,120
just evidence that no one else
in the ecclesia cares but me,

394
00:27:16,640 –> 00:27:20,360
right?
Every, every question you’re,

395
00:27:20,440 –> 00:27:25,320
you’re asked just offends you
and you become defensive and

396
00:27:25,320 –> 00:27:33,520
sensitive about everything.
Those around you, they avoid you

397
00:27:34,520 –> 00:27:38,800
because they can’t do anything
right when you’re around and and

398
00:27:38,800 –> 00:27:43,600
you interpret all information
through the distorted lens of

399
00:27:43,600 –> 00:27:48,160
your agitation.
And when you’re like this, it’s

400
00:27:48,160 –> 00:27:55,520
as if your brain is in this
panicked define any any evidence

401
00:27:55,520 –> 00:28:00,120
to support or justify or
rationalize your obnoxious point

402
00:28:00,120 –> 00:28:03,720
of view and hateful disposition.
Because darn it, if enough

403
00:28:03,720 –> 00:28:07,040
people are doing enough
annoying, aggravating and

404
00:28:07,040 –> 00:28:09,880
hurtful things, then your bad
attitude is justified.

405
00:28:12,120 –> 00:28:15,920
So you’re looking for any shred
of evidence you can that makes

406
00:28:15,920 –> 00:28:21,080
the inside feel right.
And what’s the only answer when

407
00:28:21,080 –> 00:28:25,760
you’re like that?
I’m going for a run.

408
00:28:28,240 –> 00:28:31,880
You take a shower.
All right, I’ll see you when I

409
00:28:31,880 –> 00:28:33,600
get back.
Because we’re not going to have

410
00:28:33,600 –> 00:28:35,360
a constructive conversation
right now.

411
00:28:41,180 –> 00:28:45,260
And so and so the brothers, they
don’t hear Joseph’s dream, is my

412
00:28:45,260 –> 00:28:47,100
point.
They don’t hear it.

413
00:28:47,980 –> 00:28:50,540
They don’t consider the matter
like Jacob did.

414
00:28:50,900 –> 00:28:53,800
And and light of their
resentments and hurts, they

415
00:28:53,800 –> 00:28:57,680
unconsciously judge the dreams
in the worst possible light.

416
00:28:57,960 –> 00:29:02,240
Now the judgement was to hate
him yet more for his dreams.

417
00:29:03,400 –> 00:29:09,040
Yet here’s the irony.
Joseph’s dreams did not foretell

418
00:29:09,040 –> 00:29:13,480
their harm, but their good.
Now consider the matter from

419
00:29:13,480 –> 00:29:16,120
God’s point of view.
What was God accomplishing

420
00:29:16,160 –> 00:29:17,840
through that dream?
Do you know, we don’t have to

421
00:29:17,840 –> 00:29:22,600
guess because the scriptures,
they give us the example of what

422
00:29:22,600 –> 00:29:26,240
God had in mind in the dream.
We, we go to one of those really

423
00:29:26,240 –> 00:29:29,840
useful chapters, Psalm 105,
where, where the psalmist is

424
00:29:29,840 –> 00:29:33,360
giving a retelling of the, of
the history of Israel to the

425
00:29:33,360 –> 00:29:36,280
people and in a, in a poem and
song, so they will remember

426
00:29:36,280 –> 00:29:39,360
their own history.
And, and the psalmist interprets

427
00:29:39,360 –> 00:29:42,040
what’s going on here.
And we read this in Psalm one O

428
00:29:42,040 –> 00:29:48,040
5, verses 20 and 21 and skipping
to verse 24, it says there the

429
00:29:48,040 –> 00:29:51,920
king being Pharaoh loosed him,
meaning Joseph, the key.

430
00:29:51,920 –> 00:29:55,960
The Pharaoh loosed Joseph, even
the ruler of the people and let

431
00:29:55,960 –> 00:29:59,280
him go free.
He made him Lord of his house

432
00:29:59,400 –> 00:30:00,800
and ruler of his all his
substance.

433
00:30:00,800 –> 00:30:03,000
So that’s the, that’s the
fulfillment of that dream, is it

434
00:30:03,000 –> 00:30:05,760
not?
And then verse 24 says this.

435
00:30:06,680 –> 00:30:10,840
And he increased his people
greatly and made them stronger

436
00:30:10,840 –> 00:30:14,520
than their enemies.
Did it ever cross Joseph’s

437
00:30:14,520 –> 00:30:18,560
brothers minds at all?
That maybe, just maybe their

438
00:30:18,560 –> 00:30:20,400
brother reigning over them was a
good thing?

439
00:30:23,640 –> 00:30:25,360
That God was doing it for a
purpose?

440
00:30:27,160 –> 00:30:29,240
That Joseph, whose name means
what?

441
00:30:31,000 –> 00:30:38,120
The increaser, right, that God
might be using Joseph to

442
00:30:38,120 –> 00:30:42,880
increase his people to make them
stronger than their enemies.

443
00:30:44,480 –> 00:30:48,400
You see one another symptom of
resentment is a complete lack of

444
00:30:48,400 –> 00:30:52,600
optimism, right?
It’s skewed judgement.

445
00:30:52,920 –> 00:30:57,800
You are interpreting information
pessimistically based on

446
00:30:57,800 –> 00:31:00,120
feelings.
In this case, the brothers were

447
00:31:00,120 –> 00:31:02,920
saying that that Joseph would
never reign over them wrong.

448
00:31:03,960 –> 00:31:06,840
And then they said they thought,
they thought that if he did run

449
00:31:06,840 –> 00:31:10,400
over them, it’d be bad for them.
Wrong again.

450
00:31:12,480 –> 00:31:16,920
But their minds interpret and
respond to their pessimistic

451
00:31:16,920 –> 00:31:19,120
assumptions about the future as
if they were fact.

452
00:31:19,120 –> 00:31:20,800
In fact.
I want to, I want to outline

453
00:31:20,800 –> 00:31:25,360
this because this is so
important, how this process

454
00:31:25,360 –> 00:31:30,000
works to create sin within us.
OK, as I, as I go through this,

455
00:31:30,200 –> 00:31:32,920
I wrote, I wrote this out of my
own personal experience and

456
00:31:32,920 –> 00:31:35,480
maybe this relates to you too.
I think, I think we’re made of

457
00:31:35,480 –> 00:31:39,160
the same stuff.
So probably here’s how it works

458
00:31:39,160 –> 00:31:40,680
in the mind of a resentful
person.

459
00:31:41,200 –> 00:31:44,400
They take limited information.
In this case, the brothers took

460
00:31:44,400 –> 00:31:48,200
Joseph’s retelling of the dream.
They take limited information,

461
00:31:48,880 –> 00:31:53,000
yes, but then we interpret that
in the worst way possible.

462
00:31:54,400 –> 00:31:59,640
And then we make pessimistic
assumptions based on our

463
00:31:59,640 –> 00:32:03,160
interpretation.
So by the way, assumptions based

464
00:32:03,160 –> 00:32:09,320
on interpretations, dangerous
things, then, then what we do

465
00:32:09,320 –> 00:32:11,920
now, that’s not enough, right?
That’s right, right away, you’re

466
00:32:11,920 –> 00:32:13,760
in a bad space.
But no, we go on.

467
00:32:16,320 –> 00:32:18,320
We’re going to treat those
assumptions as if they’re

468
00:32:18,320 –> 00:32:23,840
unbiased facts, and then we’re
going to act accordingly,

469
00:32:24,160 –> 00:32:25,800
thinking that we’re doing what’s
right.

470
00:32:28,880 –> 00:32:35,600
Is this not how it works?
Limited information, interpreted

471
00:32:37,920 –> 00:32:41,400
assumptions based on that
limited information the most

472
00:32:41,400 –> 00:32:44,640
pessimistic way possible.
But now I’m going to act on

473
00:32:44,640 –> 00:32:47,640
those assumptions and I’m going
to say, well, I’m totally

474
00:32:47,640 –> 00:32:49,040
justified.
Why?

475
00:32:49,040 –> 00:32:53,680
Because I’ve assumed based on
interpretation that then my mind

476
00:32:53,800 –> 00:32:56,000
is pessimistic.
But you know what?

477
00:32:56,320 –> 00:33:00,520
If I plan for the worst case
scenario, I guess I’m going to

478
00:33:00,520 –> 00:33:06,080
be all right no matter what.
And weren’t.

479
00:33:06,080 –> 00:33:08,640
This is exactly the process the
brothers went down as they

480
00:33:08,640 –> 00:33:13,720
looked at Joseph’s dream.
What could make someone act this

481
00:33:13,720 –> 00:33:17,720
way with this variety and type
of skewed judgement?

482
00:33:19,000 –> 00:33:21,920
Resentment.
What is resentment?

483
00:33:22,200 –> 00:33:26,200
It’s feeling again.
It’s feeling again a real or

484
00:33:26,200 –> 00:33:30,920
imagined wrong.
So let’s explore how resentment

485
00:33:30,920 –> 00:33:33,280
happens and why it’s so
fundamental to the way that

486
00:33:33,280 –> 00:33:36,000
Judah acts.
So one of the clearest

487
00:33:36,120 –> 00:33:39,440
descriptions that resent we have
in all the Bible is actually

488
00:33:39,440 –> 00:33:41,840
found in First Corinthians
chapter 13, which is not where

489
00:33:41,840 –> 00:33:44,440
you’d expect to find it.
Is it First Corinthians chapter

490
00:33:44,440 –> 00:33:46,920
13 and verse 5?
I’m going to read this out of

491
00:33:46,920 –> 00:33:53,280
the NIV.
It says there love does not

492
00:33:53,280 –> 00:33:58,000
dishonor others.
It is not self seeking, it is

493
00:33:58,000 –> 00:34:04,720
not easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongs.

494
00:34:05,960 –> 00:34:10,280
Now the RSV actually puts here
next to 1st Corinthians chapter

495
00:34:10,280 –> 00:34:13,840
13 verse 5.
The RSV actually puts in love is

496
00:34:13,840 –> 00:34:19,920
not resentful, but actually the
words expressed at the NIV are

497
00:34:19,920 –> 00:34:23,920
the better translation.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.

498
00:34:23,920 –> 00:34:25,560
That’s really what the Greek is
getting at.

499
00:34:26,320 –> 00:34:28,920
Both, by the way, are better
than the King James of love

500
00:34:28,920 –> 00:34:33,120
thinketh no evil.
OK, now those of us struggle

501
00:34:33,199 –> 00:34:35,960
that struggle with resentment.
You know, we keep a record of

502
00:34:35,960 –> 00:34:37,719
wrongs.
You know, we keep a record of

503
00:34:37,719 –> 00:34:39,199
wrongs.
Like the bank has gave me a

504
00:34:39,199 –> 00:34:42,360
record of my mortgage, right?
It’s not going to miss a cent,

505
00:34:42,480 –> 00:34:44,440
right?
It knows down to the penny what

506
00:34:44,440 –> 00:34:49,679
I owe.
Now Paul uses the same word

507
00:34:49,679 –> 00:34:53,960
here, keep a record of that same
word there keep a record of.

508
00:34:54,040 –> 00:34:57,200
He uses that a little bit later
in First Corinthians chapter 13

509
00:34:57,440 –> 00:35:01,160
to help us even get a a richer
sense of what this word keep a

510
00:35:01,160 –> 00:35:05,040
record of is about.
Now if you go down a little bit

511
00:35:05,040 –> 00:35:07,720
in the chapter, you look at
verse 11 when we read there in

512
00:35:07,720 –> 00:35:10,600
verse 11, is this when I was a
child?

513
00:35:10,600 –> 00:35:16,800
I spoke as a child, I thought as
a child, I reasoned like a

514
00:35:16,800 –> 00:35:21,280
child.
When I became a man, I gave up

515
00:35:21,800 –> 00:35:26,520
childish ways.
So the word to keep a record of

516
00:35:26,800 –> 00:35:32,840
is the same word in verse 11
reasoned when I was a child, I

517
00:35:32,840 –> 00:35:38,440
came when I was a child I kept
records like a child is what it

518
00:35:38,440 –> 00:35:41,640
actually means.
When I was a child, I kept

519
00:35:41,640 –> 00:35:46,440
records like a child.
Now I don’t know how your kids

520
00:35:47,200 –> 00:35:51,960
keep records, right?
But you know how my keep kids

521
00:35:51,960 –> 00:35:54,920
keep records.
Now we have a certain language

522
00:35:54,920 –> 00:35:57,240
you don’t allow in our house.
Do you have language you don’t

523
00:35:57,240 –> 00:35:59,800
allow in your house?
We don’t have there’s a there’s

524
00:35:59,800 –> 00:36:01,680
a word that begins with F4
letters long.

525
00:36:01,680 –> 00:36:03,240
We don’t allow that word in our
house.

526
00:36:03,240 –> 00:36:07,520
Do you know what that word is?
Well, let me just put it this

527
00:36:07,520 –> 00:36:09,640
way.
When you were raising your

528
00:36:09,640 –> 00:36:14,200
children, what is the number one
thing that they complained you

529
00:36:14,200 –> 00:36:15,240
about?
When they come back and they say

530
00:36:15,240 –> 00:36:23,040
Mommy, mommy, they say it’s not,
it’s not fair, right?

531
00:36:23,240 –> 00:36:25,400
We don’t allow that word.
It’s a naughty word.

532
00:36:26,560 –> 00:36:29,160
That is a naughty word in the
Brinkerhoff household.

533
00:36:30,640 –> 00:36:34,800
It’s funny, they never seem to
say that when the when the when

534
00:36:34,800 –> 00:36:38,960
the split is to their advantage.
You know, I’m to this day, I’ve

535
00:36:38,960 –> 00:36:42,000
never heard one of my kids come
up and say, Mommy, mommy, it’s

536
00:36:42,000 –> 00:36:43,720
not fair I got too much ice
cream.

537
00:36:45,600 –> 00:36:50,080
Yeah, you know, Mommy and Mommy,
it’s not fair I got a longer,

538
00:36:50,080 –> 00:36:53,080
longer turn on the slide.
You know that just that never

539
00:36:53,080 –> 00:36:58,840
seems to happen that way.
You know, fundamental to the way

540
00:36:58,840 –> 00:37:02,160
that children reason is that
they keep records.

541
00:37:02,240 –> 00:37:05,320
Admit it, admit it to yourself.
Those who have children, raise

542
00:37:05,320 –> 00:37:07,080
your hand if your kids kept
records.

543
00:37:08,360 –> 00:37:09,600
Oh, some of you have Angel
children.

544
00:37:09,600 –> 00:37:11,760
Who has Angel children, right,
right.

545
00:37:13,040 –> 00:37:15,200
Jonathan, I know better than
that, right.

546
00:37:18,840 –> 00:37:21,040
I, I have something I was going
to say, but I’m going to keep it

547
00:37:21,040 –> 00:37:22,560
right to myself right now.
That’s right.

548
00:37:23,440 –> 00:37:30,360
All right, self-control, right.
So, so let me draw a little

549
00:37:30,360 –> 00:37:32,520
sketch, right on the not going
to draw.

550
00:37:32,520 –> 00:37:34,560
I’m going to show you a little
sketch about how I think a

551
00:37:34,560 –> 00:37:36,400
child’s brain probably works,
right?

552
00:37:37,520 –> 00:37:39,400
You see a seesaw to balance,
right?

553
00:37:39,600 –> 00:37:41,040
Because everything is a
comparison.

554
00:37:41,320 –> 00:37:44,040
Everything is a balance.
And at that middle of the

555
00:37:44,040 –> 00:37:45,880
balance is our perception of
Fair.

556
00:37:46,600 –> 00:37:49,800
OK, Now as we look at this
sketch, I want to introduce

557
00:37:50,360 –> 00:37:52,000
something we’re going to be
referring to quite a bit in

558
00:37:52,000 –> 00:37:55,760
these studies, which are the
five selves of sin and the five

559
00:37:55,760 –> 00:38:00,000
selves of sin are these.
And it begins with self

560
00:38:00,200 –> 00:38:05,720
importance.
Now as self important people, we

561
00:38:05,720 –> 00:38:12,960
think as a default I deserve to
have or I expect to have just as

562
00:38:12,960 –> 00:38:17,600
much or a little bit more than
the next person because by

563
00:38:17,600 –> 00:38:22,200
definition I’m self important.
Now thinking this way, this

564
00:38:22,200 –> 00:38:25,080
leads to what?
This leads to being easily hurt.

565
00:38:26,520 –> 00:38:29,600
We’re always keeping records.
We’re counting, ensuring that we

566
00:38:29,600 –> 00:38:33,160
get everything that we deserve.
And occasionally when we’re

567
00:38:33,160 –> 00:38:38,720
treated in the wrong way, our
mood fouls and we get bad

568
00:38:38,720 –> 00:38:41,320
feelings and judgments and
defensive behaviors.

569
00:38:42,240 –> 00:38:46,640
So when that happens in our
childish brain, the way we

570
00:38:46,640 –> 00:38:51,560
reason as children, what happens
is we add a little, we go back

571
00:38:51,560 –> 00:38:53,280
to our balance and we add a
little hurt.

572
00:38:54,240 –> 00:38:57,080
So now you can see our balance
is skewed just slightly.

573
00:38:57,080 –> 00:38:59,960
You see it’s a skewed down that
way because we have a hurt

574
00:38:59,960 –> 00:39:02,040
there, right?
We’ve been hurt.

575
00:39:02,480 –> 00:39:04,280
I didn’t get what I was
expecting to get.

576
00:39:04,520 –> 00:39:06,720
I wasn’t treated the way I was
expected to be treated.

577
00:39:07,680 –> 00:39:11,560
You know, someone treated me
badly and I’m and I’m hurt about

578
00:39:11,560 –> 00:39:13,840
that.
And you go back to the five

579
00:39:13,840 –> 00:39:17,600
selves of sin and you go, OK, we
notice one that comes next.

580
00:39:17,600 –> 00:39:21,040
This is self justification and
that’s what we do next.

581
00:39:21,320 –> 00:39:25,720
We, we notice that our little
balance isn’t even in our mind.

582
00:39:25,920 –> 00:39:31,440
It’s just, or it’s right to just
say even things out a little

583
00:39:31,440 –> 00:39:32,760
bit.
I’m just going to get even.

584
00:39:32,760 –> 00:39:34,880
I’m just going to even out even
things out.

585
00:39:35,520 –> 00:39:38,960
And how do you going to do that?
Well, there’s myriad ways.

586
00:39:38,960 –> 00:39:41,720
You may, you may speak badly
about that person.

587
00:39:43,680 –> 00:39:45,560
You may, you may give that
person a little bit of the

588
00:39:45,560 –> 00:39:48,960
silent treatment, a little bit
of a cold shoulder or, or, or

589
00:39:48,960 –> 00:39:52,640
maybe worse, whatever it is, you
justify it because after all,

590
00:39:53,200 –> 00:39:57,400
they hurt you first and, and,
and your way, you’re just

591
00:39:57,560 –> 00:40:01,680
evening things out a bit.
And as you might have guessed,

592
00:40:01,680 –> 00:40:05,800
the words of Christ found in in
Matthew chapter 5, you know,

593
00:40:06,320 –> 00:40:08,920
love your enemies, bless those
that curse you, do good to them

594
00:40:08,920 –> 00:40:11,320
that hate you and pray for them
that despitefully use you and

595
00:40:11,320 –> 00:40:14,280
persecute you.
Those words don’t have much

596
00:40:14,280 –> 00:40:17,240
effect.
On the self important, self

597
00:40:17,240 –> 00:40:21,400
justifying person.
So we can see now that

598
00:40:21,400 –> 00:40:26,920
resentment or holding on to the
original wrong has blinded us.

599
00:40:27,960 –> 00:40:34,560
Because something that’s wrong
seems right in our eyes because

600
00:40:34,640 –> 00:40:37,520
we’re the one who’s doing it.
And in our view, the

601
00:40:37,520 –> 00:40:43,200
circumstances called for it.
Of course, in this sense, the

602
00:40:43,200 –> 00:40:47,120
resentment is leading to sin,
but in our view, it’s justified.

603
00:40:48,520 –> 00:40:53,240
It’s justified.
Well, what that means is we

604
00:40:53,240 –> 00:40:56,880
don’t need to repent.
So we’ve slipped from self

605
00:40:56,880 –> 00:41:00,840
justification or getting even to
self righteousness or

606
00:41:00,840 –> 00:41:03,400
rationalizing a lack of
repentance afterwards.

607
00:41:06,280 –> 00:41:08,640
Unfortunately, though, I, I
don’t know if this is how it

608
00:41:08,640 –> 00:41:12,480
works with you, but once I
justify doing the wrong thing,

609
00:41:13,560 –> 00:41:18,160
it becomes pretty easy to keep
doing it and, and before long

610
00:41:18,160 –> 00:41:23,040
even expand upon it.
And, and we may find that the,

611
00:41:23,160 –> 00:41:25,400
the balance, unfortunately, the
balance of our child like

612
00:41:25,400 –> 00:41:27,800
reasoning.
It might even start to tip the

613
00:41:27,800 –> 00:41:30,680
wrong direction.
You know, it might be that, Gee,

614
00:41:30,680 –> 00:41:33,760
we’ve done a lot of sins and you
know that that hurt almost It

615
00:41:33,760 –> 00:41:38,000
doesn’t even, it doesn’t even
seem to rationalize our, our,

616
00:41:38,040 –> 00:41:41,720
our sinful response.
Ah, ha, ha, we have a solution

617
00:41:41,720 –> 00:41:44,520
to this problem, don’t we?
So this is where excitement

618
00:41:44,520 –> 00:41:47,200
steps in.
So in in that case, we don’t

619
00:41:47,200 –> 00:41:48,480
want this problem to last very
long.

620
00:41:48,640 –> 00:41:50,240
We just remember that hurt
again.

621
00:41:51,160 –> 00:41:56,720
Yep, and and we remember we
replayed in our minds and but,

622
00:41:57,000 –> 00:41:59,400
but we’re not too honest with
ourselves, are we?

623
00:41:59,720 –> 00:42:04,360
When we think about that
original hurt, you know, we we

624
00:42:04,360 –> 00:42:10,200
just happen to make their part a
little bit worse and we make our

625
00:42:10,200 –> 00:42:15,880
part a little bit less and and
doing this, we just make the

626
00:42:15,880 –> 00:42:23,040
hurt a little bit bigger, just
just big enough to justify our

627
00:42:25,440 –> 00:42:27,320
attitude and anger and
negativity.

628
00:42:28,600 –> 00:42:31,920
When we re remember, don’t we
do?

629
00:42:33,240 –> 00:42:37,880
We had a little bit of
intention, you know, you meant

630
00:42:37,880 –> 00:42:42,640
to say that.
You know, that was no accident.

631
00:42:43,960 –> 00:42:48,160
Not only did you do it on
purpose, I bet you premeditated

632
00:42:48,160 –> 00:42:51,920
it.
It’s not third degree murder.

633
00:42:52,760 –> 00:42:54,160
It’s not even second degree
murder.

634
00:42:54,200 –> 00:42:56,280
It’s pre planned murder.
It’s first degree.

635
00:42:56,480 –> 00:43:04,360
Yeah, we make it bigger and we
start to get pretty good at this

636
00:43:04,360 –> 00:43:07,280
justification game.
And before long, everywhere we

637
00:43:07,280 –> 00:43:11,560
turn we find someone who’s
annoying us or doing something

638
00:43:11,560 –> 00:43:14,080
the wrong way or or saying the
wrong thing.

639
00:43:14,080 –> 00:43:16,640
We take offense at everything.
We just pile up hurts.

640
00:43:17,280 –> 00:43:20,840
We pile up resentments.
So what are resentments,

641
00:43:21,160 –> 00:43:23,720
brothers and sisters?
I want to give it a new

642
00:43:23,720 –> 00:43:28,960
definition.
I think resentments are the fuel

643
00:43:30,400 –> 00:43:32,800
that allow us to feel OK doing
what’s wrong.

644
00:43:37,040 –> 00:43:41,320
Before long we find ourselves in
a position where we literally

645
00:43:41,320 –> 00:43:44,040
can’t forgive the wrongs done to
others.

646
00:43:45,720 –> 00:43:48,240
Now, why can’t you forgive the
wrongs done to others?

647
00:43:48,240 –> 00:43:51,680
If you’re full of resentment,
how could you?

648
00:43:53,880 –> 00:43:58,000
If you forgave, you’d be sitting
on a huge pile of sins without

649
00:43:58,000 –> 00:44:01,880
anything to justify them with.
None of us are going to do that.

650
00:44:05,200 –> 00:44:08,960
So we’re going to continue with
this diagram in our future

651
00:44:08,960 –> 00:44:10,880
talks.
We’re kind of moved down the

652
00:44:10,880 –> 00:44:15,480
process into self loathing and
self gratification.

653
00:44:15,520 –> 00:44:19,280
But for the moment, I want you
to see that this is the process

654
00:44:19,280 –> 00:44:22,960
that Judah went down.
He was the man that Paul

655
00:44:22,960 –> 00:44:26,160
describes in Titus, not
literally, but figuratively.

656
00:44:27,040 –> 00:44:32,200
Paul says in Titus 3 verse 3
that we ought to avoid those who

657
00:44:32,200 –> 00:44:34,840
are full of hate, envy, living
in malice.

658
00:44:34,840 –> 00:44:36,880
Now, living in malice means to
live in ill will.

659
00:44:37,640 –> 00:44:44,040
Living in I’ll will, deceived
and foolish.

660
00:44:45,280 –> 00:44:49,880
So often, living in I’ll will,
We are deceived because we’re

661
00:44:49,880 –> 00:44:53,040
lying to ourselves.
We’re making it.

662
00:44:53,520 –> 00:44:55,840
We’re making a horrible
situation even worse.

663
00:44:59,280 –> 00:45:03,960
So Judah’s problem began with
hurt that was real.

664
00:45:04,480 –> 00:45:06,840
It was real, and it was
undeserved.

665
00:45:08,160 –> 00:45:12,880
It was hurt that he nursed in
his heart, and he used it to

666
00:45:12,880 –> 00:45:14,800
justify treating Joseph
Baddeley.

667
00:45:16,360 –> 00:45:18,240
But you know a funny thing about
treating Joseph Baddeley?

668
00:45:19,280 –> 00:45:21,080
It didn’t make the pain in his
heart any less.

669
00:45:23,240 –> 00:45:27,560
There was a benefit, though, of
resentment because it allowed

670
00:45:27,560 –> 00:45:31,480
Judah to justify his actions and
being justified.

671
00:45:31,480 –> 00:45:34,840
His actions grew worse and
worse, and his attitude grew

672
00:45:34,840 –> 00:45:38,640
worse and worse.
Before long, Judah was looking

673
00:45:38,640 –> 00:45:42,600
to find fault.
He was full of displaced anger.

674
00:45:42,880 –> 00:45:47,280
He was modeling hatred and envy,
and he was acting with skewed

675
00:45:47,440 –> 00:45:54,760
judgement of facts.
In Paul’s words, Judah was

676
00:45:54,760 –> 00:45:57,600
thinking like a child keeping
records of wrongs.

677
00:45:57,600 –> 00:46:01,640
He was counting wrongs.
Which brings us to the question,

678
00:46:02,600 –> 00:46:09,520
what wrongs are you counting?
Perhaps it’s useful in light of

679
00:46:09,520 –> 00:46:12,800
that to ask what God is
counting, because the same word

680
00:46:13,120 –> 00:46:17,640
reasoned or counting love does
not count wrongs.

681
00:46:17,640 –> 00:46:21,440
It’s it’s used often in the New
Testament that it’s, it’s the

682
00:46:21,440 –> 00:46:26,760
Greek word lozami, and it means
to reckon or count or compute or

683
00:46:26,760 –> 00:46:30,480
make a count of.
And this same word is used

684
00:46:31,080 –> 00:46:34,680
throughout the New Testament,
for example, in Romans 4 verse

685
00:46:34,680 –> 00:46:37,600
5.
But to him that worketh not, but

686
00:46:37,600 –> 00:46:42,400
believeth on him that justifieth
the godly, his faith is counted

687
00:46:43,200 –> 00:46:48,720
for righteousness.
How about Romans 4 verse 8 to

688
00:46:48,720 –> 00:46:52,720
the man who the Lord will not
bless, the man whom the Lord

689
00:46:52,720 –> 00:46:58,360
will not count sin.
That’s that one.

690
00:46:58,440 –> 00:47:05,800
Yep.
Or 2nd Corinthians 5 verse 19.

691
00:47:06,120 –> 00:47:11,240
To wit, that God was in Christ
reconciling the world to

692
00:47:11,240 –> 00:47:16,960
Himself, not counting trespasses
unto them, and hath committed

693
00:47:16,960 –> 00:47:18,600
unto us the word of
reconciliation.

694
00:47:18,600 –> 00:47:25,840
I just want you to bear this
fact in mind, that our nature is

695
00:47:25,840 –> 00:47:33,920
very much to count, to count the
sins of others, to reason like

696
00:47:33,920 –> 00:47:42,040
children.
But Christ in Christ God is not

697
00:47:42,040 –> 00:47:46,080
counting trespasses, but what
does He count?

698
00:47:47,640 –> 00:47:55,880
He is counting faith.
So thinking back to the balance,

699
00:47:55,880 –> 00:47:59,920
then, how does this balance work
in light of grace?

700
00:48:03,120 –> 00:48:06,520
Once you say that that
undeserved kindness of grace, it

701
00:48:06,520 –> 00:48:13,600
basically destroys this balance.
This whole tit for tat paradigm

702
00:48:14,000 –> 00:48:17,400
we seem to be born into.
See, God’s not drowning,

703
00:48:17,480 –> 00:48:22,120
counting, trespasses, but let’s
be honest, we are.

704
00:48:25,320 –> 00:48:29,200
So how would God take, brothers
and sisters, a man who is caught

705
00:48:29,200 –> 00:48:33,960
in envy and hatred, and
transform him into a man who was

706
00:48:33,960 –> 00:48:38,560
willing to sacrifice his freedom
for his father, who had not

707
00:48:38,560 –> 00:48:46,640
repented of favoritism?
How did God release from Judah

708
00:48:47,000 –> 00:48:50,760
the burden of self-righteous
resentment?

709
00:48:52,480 –> 00:48:55,160
This is the question we’re going
to try to answer this week as we

710
00:48:55,160 –> 00:48:57,280
progress and our studies
together.

711
00:49:14,700 –> 00:49:16,780
Thank you for listening to the
good Chris Adelphian Talks

712
00:49:16,780 –> 00:49:19,380
podcast.
We hope this talk helped you in

713
00:49:19,380 –> 00:49:20,900
your walk and brightened your
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714
00:49:22,060 –> 00:49:24,100
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729
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730
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