Ben Pitcher - Class 6: Social Media

Automatically transcribed. Accuracy is good but not perfect, and words are sometimes wrong. Trust the audio over the text.

1. 0:00

   Well, good evening, everyone. And we are a lot of young people down the front here which is good because that’s exactly who I’d like to be talking to. So just make sure that because I’m in oit and trouble with it people as we speak a lot of jargon and TLS which is three letter acronyms so wonderful about social media. Do you know what social media means? When I say that word, yeah, anybody what social media? Yep.

2. 0:34

   You’re chatting to people online. Yep. Facebook. Yep. That’s one. Anything else? Yeah, see the adults. All no Instagram, Snapchat. Yeah. But not unique. You guys are up with the new ones like mastodons and aloe and you guys. Anyway, I logged in there and there’s nothing there yet, let me tell you anyway. So that’s one of the things that’s always changing. So when I talk about a social media feed because I’m not going to talk about one specific platform, if I talk about us. So we know what social media is, if I talk about a social media feed, what do you think of social media feed is I’ll give you hints.

3. 1:22

   Not you eating it. Do you know, what do you think the feed of social media feed is? So if you go to Facebook, what do you look at? Yeah. Yeah. You look at on your phone and you look at your Facebook. What’s it called? Come on old people.

4. 1:46

   Yeah, it’s your Facebook wall so all the comments you’ve made. So if you’re on Twitter it’s all your tweets. Fits on the Instagram, it’s all your photos. So that’s your social when we talk about a social media feed, its the information, all the information in sequence that you’ve posted up there. Okay cool.

5. 2:03

   So the thing is, I’m talking about a social media manual tonight and social media is not directly mentioned in the Bible. Because how many, how many thousands of years ago was the Bible written? All right, so it was written over, thousands of years and the last book we’ve got is nearly 2000 years old. So even though social media is not mentioned the Bible, I found a verse that’s really, really close. You have a read of this and Ecclesiastes, 10 verse 20, even in your thoughts, don’t curse the king nor in your bedroom curse, the rich for a bird of the air, air will carry your voice.

6. 2:41

   Sorry that got locked out or some winged creature will All the matter. So there you are Twitter with all its entertainment. Gossip can take your comment that you post in the bedroom and instantly post it, the world over. So be careful about talking about the rich or the king from your bedroom. So that’s what social media is. Literally, everyone has the ability now to publish And everyone has a voice as loud as someone else. So when you look at someone’s Social Media profile or their feed, you actually get a bit of an idea on a feel for, you know, how they think perhaps and what topics interest them. So, you know, this is my Twitter feed and he’s not here, sorry the anchors not for the Dockers, it’s because I like sailing but like, you know, there’s batteries and infant development and power.

7. 3:40

   And so there’s sort of things that I’m interested in science. Second, some outdoor stuff in the photos, you can see there. So that’s you can. Look at my social media feed and instantly get a picture of sort of things that interest me what I post about. So there’s post from random times about random topics as I came across them sort of from August back to June and you can see groupings of topics of interest in someone’s Social Media profile.

8. 4:13

   So, often You’ll follow someone for this types of topics that they post about, but all their poster, sort of random as they come across information. So, here’s the interesting thing, Have you ever thought that the Book of Proverbs is a bit like someone’s Social Media feed? Because you got all these posts from the one author in sort of no particular order about topics, that were important, as they came across them. And, you know, I’ve heard it said that the Book of Proverbs is a bit like life where often we learning lessons from ourselves and others experience as we come across them, and Proverbs is a bit like that random order of things that, as you come across them.

9. 4:59

   So, it’s not structured like, you know, a classroom text or some of the other letters, where it’s all sequential has all these random things, as the as the teacher came across them and there’s groupings of areas of interest and topics. So, if you’ve never thought of it before, perhaps you can think of the Verbs as being a bit more up-to-date than you thought.

10. 5:18

    And it’s a series of social media posts from the right of the proverb. So he is Proverbs 27. You know, don’t boast about tomorrow. Let another praise. You not out of your own mouth. A stone is heavy and Sanders. Wait, you buffoons provocation is heavier than both the fry. The primaries must come across.

11. 5:38

    Lots of foolish, people all day. And you just post about uh, you know, it’s better to perhaps be silent and you won’t be thought a fool like this bloke. I’m standing behind in line, maybe. So, Roth is cruel. Anger is overwhelming better as open rebuke and Hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, producer, the kisses, the enemy. So he said, I must have gone through some bit of a something wearing shorter.

12. 6:06

    There was an issue where he suddenly discovered the benefits of a true friend. So yeah, those perhaps something to think about and that’s really what we’re going to use tonight. In terms of perhaps the Bible’s not as irrelevant as you think and an old musty document, maybe it’s right up to date. Wait. So this is nothing new Under the Sun. It says in Ecclesiastes and the way that we consume information online now is exactly the same way Proverbs and Ecclesiastes is structured And, you know, to add to the idea of the Book of Proverbs being like a social media. What do you think about Facebook stalking? So here’s a proverb that says, take no hick, so don’t go looking to close at Facebook, take, no heed to all the words that are spoken.

13. 6:54

    Lest thou hear thy servant curse thee. So there’s some advice to employers, not to go looking too deeply in their employees, social media, profile, or they might find a post cursing them. So, And that’s really my point that we want to come around tonight is there’s actually information right up-to-date relevant for today’s technology in this book of the Bible and so the Bible as a whole but Proverbs particularly is a really good guide book as to how to navigate in a Godly way on a social media platform.

14. 7:32

    So the social media manual in case you didn’t quite get it. That we’re talking about tonight is God’s word. Spell before we get into the advice of the Bible. I need to tell you something. That’s a really important internet. Communication principle. It’s not. It’s not a viable principle. It’s an IT principle based on the engineering of the internet and the networking but it’s really important.

15. 7:59

    So really want you young people to listen to me on this. Every piece of communication on the Internet is like a postcard. So, it’s not private. When you send an email, it goes through a number of servers before it gets to the person that you send it to. And each of those servers reads that message along the way with the rare exception of a message, that’s end-to-end encrypted, but even there, the person on the other end can take a screenshot and share that message that you gave to them. So, every message that you post like a physical postcard that people might It put on their fridge and other people might just come wandering over.

16. 8:41

    Go, it’s an interesting message. Everything that you post online is like a postcard where someone you send it to someone, you think it’s just to that person. But there’s always the possibility that someone else can see and that they can share it with someone else and that person can flick that postcard over and read it. So, My first principal really want, you understand tonight is that every internet communication on. Every platform is like a postcard. The person you’re sending it to can share it with others and so, getting back to the fridge analogy, you know, how would you like someone to turn over a postcard from you on someone’s at someone else’s house on the fridge? For all to see and that postcards full of hurtful words. Nasty gossip.

17. 9:40

    Well, have a harsh bullying time. Would you like to send a postcard in the pose to someone like that? And it’s on their fridge? And all their friends can come over and go off, are a bit nasty to you. But that’s what posting on the Internet is exactly. So we strive to do everything to God’s glory because he’s watching everything we do and he’s pleased when we do the right thing.

18. 10:08

    And he can see every communication. Of course, even all the private ones, but you need to realize, as well as God being able to see them the internet, really has no privacy and there’s no delete or retract button where you can take it back. Once you’ve hit the post button. And so the principal I tell my children and other young people is never write anything on the internet and an email or in a social media post. Then hit submit that you would not be happy to see on a postcard on someone’s fridge, that’s really, really important. And so you only say things that you’re happy for everyone else to read and not just messages with a certain Clique would think funny or cool if they’re not, you know, if they’re, they’ve got to be Godly messages, that would give no one offense.

19. 11:05

    If they were to turn it over and read that postcard. And so I think this advice from Romans is all around, excellent advice. If possible as far as it depends with you live peaceably, with all people. So that really I think is an all-around. Good Bible, quote about our communication in the sorts of things. We say.

20. 11:29

    So look, I think social media in some ways Is similar to some things. We’ve had a lot along way before, so I’m not going to go in some big rant about how everyone’s distracted by their screens. The fact is we’ve always found ways to ignore other people. Even before we had screens however, you know, our life, The Balancing Act. So we’ve all got interests but the problem is we can get some of those interests and things that we like doing out of whack. So you can probably think of someone whose interest is taken over their life.

21. 12:06

    So here’s someone going, you know, why would a flyover get caught by a Venus flytrap? What a stupid animal and mice. You know should be ashamed of getting caught on a simple trap and look at this. Bear trap, you know what, a silly bear to get caught in that and then they’re at home trapped on their computer all day. So, my point is that social media also can take over our life.

22. 12:28

    So we need to set ourselves boundaries and I’m really talk about mental, boundaries about how far we let it take over our life. So it’s a useful tool. We can keep in contact with friends, but we need to be careful about how much we get sucked in and in, and let that take over every minute of our Our our day because it’s a very easy to trap to fall into so that you know, can the Bible help us get our life in this this area and balance and I believe it can. And the blocks are the Bible doesn’t talk about social media, even though this tip funny quote, that could be Twitter but has an awful lot of useful information about friends. And, you know, whilst I personally think that Facebook has devalued the meaning of the word friend, it’s true. That social media and our social lives online. Revolve around our interactions with a group that we can broadly call.

23. 13:31

    Our friends and acquaintances. So we’re going to look tonight at some of the wisdom that we can find in the Proverbs. And, you know, I think our Proverbs isn’t that that really complicated and hard to understand book? Well, no, that’s Ecclesiastes. The one that follows Proverbs for the most part Proverbs is pretty straightforward if you just take it a versa to time. So for example, this one here, it’s saying if you buy an ox you’re going to have to clean out for the stool. All right?

24. 13:59

    So You know, cows produce cowpats. So if you want a cow you’ve got to deal with the other side Aikau ownership which is mucking out the manure. So that’s really, you know how straightforward and simple to Proverbs is mostly now I mentioned that there’s a sort of

25. 14:26

    My niggle about Facebook because there’s really a distinction between friends and acquaintances. And social media displays that distinction and classes, everybody as a friend. So what constitutes a true friend Any idea, what, what’s a true friend when you think of a true friend? What does that mean?

26. 14:54

    You got friends sitting there. You don’t want to say because you’re not be I say the wrong thing. Yeah, that’s a really good one. Somebody who knows you and likes you anyway, right? It doesn’t care what I’m doing. Yeah. So they’re not going to judge you as much as other people. They care for you?

27. 15:11

    Yep. Someone you can trust. That’s really, really important. Yep. Someone who will stick with you. So you look you really know what a friend is. That’s awesome. So here’s a really good quote, that’s very close to Uncle Jason’s. A true friend accepts Who You Are. But also helps you become who you should be. So they tried that they accept you and love you but they’re also going to encourage you in good things. That’s a true friend.

28. 15:51

    So what about acquaintances? And like I said, this is where social media is a bit of a problem because I would say, a lot of the people that you join with online are just acquaintances and the proverb warns about that says, a man of many The companions or acquaintances may come to ruin.

29. 16:10

    So, you know, these acquaintances, you could you can think of a really good example, who can think of a good example in the New Testament in a parable of Jesus, where someone had lots of friends. But they thought were friends, but when they got into trouble, but there was nobody there. Do you know who I’m the product? The power will and talk about.

30. 16:35

    These girls know, they’re just too shy. The Prodigal Son. Remember here, when he had all this money had all these friends, but he thought were his friends, and when you ran the money ran out, he ended up eating pig food because no one would stick by him. So, they were acquaintances. So, a man of many acquaintances will come to ruin, but whoops. Sorry.

31. 16:58

    In, in a social media sense, if we’re going to take this analogy to current day, we’re talking about quote, acquaintances being people that we don’t have a real meaningful interaction with, you know, we they just give us a like on things and that’s about as far as it goes. So you know, and try to comment on all their profiles and keep up-to-date so they’ll comment you back and say all that. Well, that’s going to take up so much time and energy. The proverb says that that’s going to be disruptive because you got so many Any friends that you’re trying to write a comment on every post they make.

32. 17:30

    So they’ll write comments back on yours. That will lead your life to ruin. And, you know, this is fit for the parents. There’s actually documented evidence of the rising stress that so many interactions that particularly young girls have. So this article on, you can Google this. What teen depression? Why? The kids are not, all right, but the author makes this comment.

33. 17:58

    You my dozens of conversations with teens parents clinicians and counselors across the country. There was a pervasive sense that being a teenager. Today’s a draining full-time job that includes doing school work managing a social media identity fretting about career and climate change. Sexism racism, every fight or flight every fight and disagreement. Or slight is documented online for hours or days after the incident. It’s exhausting where the first generation that cannot Escape our problems at all.

34. 18:30

    Says, one young girl, we’re all like little volcanoes, we’re getting this constant pressure from our phones from our relationships from the way things are today. So that’s why we need to make sure that we help our children have boundaries because they’re just getting this stress following them everywhere, and they don’t even realize it.

35. 18:51

    So on the flip side, if you keep reading in this verse in the Proverbs, the Proverbs really straightforward. So it said, And of many acquaintances will come to ruin but there’s one type of friend that’ll stick closer than a brother. So you know, there’s true friends who don’t need you to comment on every photo they post. They know that you’ll their friend, you know, they don’t need constant reassurance that you’re just there. So one of our friendship aims is to be like a brother brother or sister to someone and not be an acquaintance. So think about that how can you be a brother or sister to your friend rather than just being an acquaintance that gives likes and comments?

36. 19:39

    And so the number of friends that we have on Facebook or on Instagram followers on Instagram is actually not a measure of how good we are. How good a friend. We are, you know, we how close we can be to someone as a friend is a better metric. So how many People could we think of in a brotherly or sisterly way that we know is a better metric of how good a friend we are then the number of acquaintances is because too many acquaintances can lead to ruin. They’re not really that valuable. And speaking of sticking close to friends, probably point out that you can actually be too close of a friend so close that can be clawing.

37. 20:22

    So here’s another one of those straightforward. Proverbs, if you found honey, eat only enough for you. You lest you have your fill of it and vomiter so you know your company your companionship can be a treat, right? But if you if you hang around your friend’s house too much and are in the way all the time, they’ll get sick of you.

38. 20:44

    So it’s like, you know, you might enjoy lollies, but if you eat a whole show, bagful it is sitting. You’ll feel sick. So it let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house lessee. Have you still love you and hate you? So you can be a close friend, but there’s a That you can be clawing and sickly and people just goes, all right so you don’t want to be that kind of friend so when it comes to our online world of social media, there’s a term for people that make you sick and that’s oversharing. So, here’s a published scientific paper about oversharing in the digital world called less is more. The Lure of ambiguity or why familiarity breeds contempt or this.

39. 21:27

    And it’s saying the research is that people share and so much makes other people hate them and this one here, this book privacy online. I’ve highlighted the bit there

40. 21:38

    it’s inevitable that we end up knowing more about people and disliking them because of it. So just think twice before you post that photo of that sandwich online that you’re enjoying so proverb says one post here and Now, and then is really enjoyable. But if you post every second of everyday, people just going to go up and feel like you’re you feel like vomiting? So, keep it, sweet.

41. 22:02

    Sweet and light, right? Just a tree. Make every post that you do a treat for people that they go on. They post such good things rather than go on clothes. So on the flip side from that, remember a true friend can be closer than a brother. So, you know, I thinking about that.

42. 22:23

    What’s some ways that you think that you could use social media online in a positive way rather than a negative way. So, we talked the – what some ways that you could post some things to social media and use social media that to strengthen friendships, These adults might want to pop up here.

43. 22:47

    Yeah. Yeah. So inspirational quotes like that, that thing that I’ve got that I posted of a friend that came from social media, you know, so you can find Bible quotes in that you enjoy in nice format and post them. Yeah. What how else can you strengthen friendships using social media in a positive way? The form of special interest groups. Yeah, so you know in social media you don’t have to just have one on one.

44. 23:24

    You can create a Facebook group or a group of people that all might be discussing the readings at for the day so that could be a readings group and so you when you join that group, you discussing the Bible readings or maybe you’re doing research on Bible topic like the Kings and so you’re all digging up research and posting it on there to share to each other.

45. 23:46

    So you’re all real time sharing research and information and discussing it. Yep, really good ideas. guess these a bit more for adults, but yeah. Yep. Yep. So events you know on Facebook and Twitter. So like when you get to youth group age they’ll often advise you on social media. If you follow them, when you know, when bookings, are opening for a camp or updates, about what youth activities are going on and often, they’ll post photos of people having fun there and you can go see yourself after the event. So yeah, that’s a really good way to keep in touch with what’s going on.

46. 24:28

    That you can be involved with yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, so it’s like you actually get an opportunity so you chat with your friends about something and you’re all, you know, talking about this topic and then after you go away and think about it, you’ve actually got an opportunity to reflect and perhaps find something that you’d thought of or you’d spoken to your mom and Dad and Dad said something and you can you can actually add to the conversation afterwards or you might find a an article in a In a book, or a magazine or a, or a Bible verse that relates to the conversation that you’re having and you could post it. So you keep the true friends that you were having that really good conversation with, you can keep that conversation going and be helpful.

47. 25:38

    Now, the really obvious thing is that you can keep in touch with people, especially people like, as you grow up and make friends in youth group, and then you might go to a youth conference, the might be in another state or you might end up with friends, overseas, not mentioning any names of People who might be moving overseas, but, you know, you can actually then keep in touch with them and reach out to them and they can feel you.

48. 26:02

    It would be like a sweet treat for them to get a message from you. You know, like what’s going on here at bustled and bible school, take a selfie and and send it to them. So that that can be a really sweet tree when you’ve developed friendships. True friendships. We’re talking about that stretch, our Over Australian over the world.

49. 26:30

    Yeah, yeah, so the prodigal son. That was looking for a way back. Maybe my to come back sooner. If he could tweet to his dad at the pigs diet, Joe, like, seriously his dad was watching out or maybe his dad was watching his social media feed and sort of was ready to receive him because he could see that the topics that he was posting about what coming around a bit to being a bit more conducive to wanting you know that thought process. He had of maybe my dad’s Servants looked after better than me, you could think of it like that. So, yes, really, really some positive things. So there’s some good use of social media. Does anyone know who this is in the original painting? It might be an adult question.

50. 27:12

    Anyone know what that does the famous painting? That’s been narcissus, right? So, narcissus is a Greek myth that from which we get the word narcissist. So does anyone want to give me the 10 second summary of what this painting is? I’ve who narcissus is Yes, he couldn’t he, you know, there’s this lovely girl there and he’s fallen in love with his own reflection, right.

51. 27:40

    And thinks that’s the most beautiful thing is saying. So you know, I want to deal with a few challenges of social media just briefly and the first one I want to talk about is a living for the likes. You know where boys you say something a little bit edgy or do something risky.

52. 28:02

    And you get a really big response and Everyone likes that close that you do and then you tempted to take a bit further or, you know, girls, you do something like, you know, dress up all glamorous, and take a shot or bear a shoulder or something, and try and look a luring or daring, and then you to get lots of feedback and attention, but who’s giving you that attention? You know who’s giving you the lights and approval, you know, are they people that?

53. 28:34

    Are they your best friends? Are they people that you know, and care about so who are you doing this for? You know, and is it positive feedback that you’re getting? Or is it just you know? So like you you just getting lots of salacious and rapacious comments, filling up your news feed that are taking the thing that you did sort of a little bit risque assure a little bit daring.

54. 28:56

    If you’re a bloke said something, A bit edgy and then all these comments are taking it way further than you meant to. So just think about that come back to what would a true friend like to see on a postcard on their fridge? Do you really want this? And everyone else’s comments attached on, posted on someone’s fridge for someone else to see.

55. 29:23

    And also be mindful that, this is what you post online. Like I said, you can’t delete it, you can never take it back. So it’s your reputation and proverb says, a good name is to be chosen rather than great riches and favor better than silver or gold. So, you know, of course, the ultimate good name that we would like, to be known by his God’s name, isn’t it? But this is talking about our good name to our reputation and you know, E astiz, the more complicated book talks about people’s reputation being like that’s been destroyed, like dead flies making a precious ointment to stink. So, you know, we can we can be like those flies with other people’s reputations with what we say about them. And so we can we have to be careful about making a stink out of other people like out of other people’s names. Everyone sort of, when you say been picture, everyone goes and looks a bit side.

56. 30:22

    Woods because there’s all these flies been crawling around saying things about been picture online. That makes people question that person’s name. So we have to be really careful about what we say about other people. But also our own actions and our own posts. And the words we say can affect our reputation. So you can get a reputation of being a nasty argumentative person because you of what you post. So it doesn’t take someone else, another fly to mock it up. We can do that for ourselves so just be Careful and, you know, never in history have job recruiters or potential boss has had such an ability to see the Integrity of a potential employee.

57. 31:03

    So, when they get a resume on their desk, you can search that that person’s name and see what pops up on social media and see whether there are worthwhile honorable person to employ and, you know, just by doing a Facebook search on them. So be really careful about the things that you post on time.

58. 31:21

    They hang around for So now you just this probably a little bit more for parents. I know social media is not legally allowed until you’re 30 but, you know, in our family, I wouldn’t advise my children. That’s the minimum that the world thinks is appropriate. So in our family, I wouldn’t let our children have some sort of social media account of their own two of our 16, at least, before that we shared family accounts, so that protected them in many ways.

59. 31:52

    So, You know, they’re including their reputation from posting too many silly things that never go away age, 13, 14. When you’re getting a job at 20, people could still find it. So, you know, this comment more people are concerned with deleting history of and making it. And if you have family accounts, like a family, Skype account, and a family, whatever, other social media account, that the kids can post to and have chats in, you actually get to Mentor them and see the conversations that they’re having.

60. 32:23

    Because they’re all in your shared family feet, so it’s like 90 of creating a protection for them when they search for their name. It won’t pop up because it’ll be like the picture family. We just work hook, always cool, the picture porridge pot, so you search for that on. Skype might still be there but but you create an environment that you can mentor and oversee what they’re doing because it’s all postcards inside and then area that and you can put the one account on Multiple devices and they can all use it.

61. 32:55

    So that’s just my advice for you. So remember that Proverbs is pretty blunt and to the point. So, what about this proverb answer, not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself? So that’s pretty straightforward, isn’t it? It’s a, you know, you know the problem someone’s wrong on the internet and I can’t let that stand.

62. 33:21

    And the problem is that you quickly appear to be a Fool by responding to baited statements. And they’re always falls on the internet but don’t be one yourself so you know don’t feed the Trolls but here’s the challenging thing. I said the prophet is a straightforward. What do you make of this? The very next verse?

63. 33:46

    Answer a fool according to his folly. Lest he be wise in his own eyes. So we’ve got the very next verse saying, the exact opposite. So what do you think that means? Any ideas, adults? It’s a bit of a tricky one.

64. 34:06

    Circumstances, dictate. All right, let’s close. Yeah. I mean, I’ve got my suggestion that I’ll give you, I don’t have to, you can go look online. People got all sorts of ideas here. So there’s no real wrong answer here, right or wrong answer here. Just usually, if you’ve got ideas of what you think this is about, but I reckon that’s right. Circumstances, dictate.

65. 34:25

    I’ll give you my suggestion of how that works in a second. Yeah. Yeah. So that would be one circumstance where you get to make a judgment call? Yeah. Yep. Yep.

66. 34:51

    So I mean there’s a bit of a case here. I think you could take it as a lot. You’re damned. If you do, damned if you don’t like the sort of, it’s a toy in cost, in a way, like it’s really up in the air. Come point us. Yeah. Sorry.

67. 35:14

    But I think really, the general principle is that, you know, because the first verse is don’t answer a fool according to their Folly. The general overall principle, guiding principle is don’t answer a fool according to their their fallen. Don’t get sucked into it, but there are occasions where you make a judgment call and go.

68. 35:37

    I wonder if he’s really understands what Is his sighing? Like, you know, I’ll give him a benefit of a doubt and just say a comment, try to balance that out a little bit. So you’re welcome to have a go and make one comment, but don’t get stuck in a continual Loop. Like you make one attempt and then if they show themselves to be a fool, you just leave it there and just don’t get caught in the spiral.

69. 36:04

    So I think that’s what it’s saying is as a general rule, don’t answer them to coordinate their Folly. There’s people that come along and you’re not sure if they are a fool because you have Any dealings with them yet so they’ll say something you’ll add wisdom into it. And then see what response you get back.

70. 36:18

    If you get foolishness back, just leave it move on. I think is what the proverb is saying. So Joe, in this case here, remember our words are never going to go away. And whatever we say we want to be able to see it printed out and on someone’s fridge and not be embarrassed if that were the case.

71. 36:39

    So, you know, problems also. Says that if you’ve got nothing better to say, sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all. So here’s a problem, that’s pretty blunt in its assessment, really straightforward easy to understand, even a fool who keep silent. He’s considered wise When he closes his lips, his deemed intelligent. So the Proverbs are saying, you know, don’t get sucked into just posting gibberish and rubbish and your sandwich because that’s when you look like, people think you look silly.

72. 37:08

    So if you’ve got nothing positive to contribute to a true friend don’t say anything, just keep the social media quiet. And when you’ve got something of value to share then share that to, it’s better to keep silent and for people to think you look silly. Male words are a really big problem in social media. That’s really what we’re talking about is is the our speech and that’s nothing new.

73. 37:32

    So social media might be the latest platform but forever and a day when people have talked to each other, they’ve been able to words have always been a problem. So just look at this in James James talks about the tongue and the things we speak. And he says, if we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we will guide their Party as well. So you can steer an entire galloping horse. Just buy something small in their mouth. And look at the big ships though. They’re so large and driven by strong winds. They’re Guided by a very small Rudder at the back there, wherever the pilot directs.

74. 38:11

    So we’re used to these really big lumbering things that are that are steered by something tiny. So we’ll also the tongue even though it’s a small member yet, it boasts of great things how great a forest is set, Ablaze by such a small fire and the tongue is a fire world of Righteousness, the tongue of said, amongst our members staining, the whole body sitting on fire the course of life and set on fire by hell. So your words can devastate friendships is what James is saying for every kind of Beast bird reptile and sea creature Can Be Tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can chain the tongue.

75. 38:55

    It’s a Restless evil. Full of deadly poison. So, you know, there’s four things here that you can’t get back. The Mind want to want. You think about is hurtful words after they’ve been spoken or gossips been spread, you can’t get it back in the same way. Like we saw that photo of that Bushfire.

76. 39:19

    Once a Bushfire has been, let go and gone through, you can’t get it back. And once it’s burnt, the trees, and scrub, you can’t reverse it. They’re burnt, they’re dead. They’re gone. That’s what James is saying. And so your friends that you want to be close to the like a brother, you really need to be careful about The things that you say because you can burn friendships, so there’s nothing left. So just be careful with our words and along with words, the Modern Trend in social media is social shaming. I’m not really going to go into it, but I’m sure you’ve seen it where based on one photo or one short video clip, people make a snap judgment about that person and their whole character. The whole thing could be out of context and then social media comes like a big.

77. 40:06

    Aab pile on that person and shaming them so don’t get caught up in Social shaming. That’s just like a big fire raging where people are saying hurtful things, that’s not what a true friend would do. Remember a true friend is looking to better that person and loves them. Doesn’t shame them and a friend sticks closer than a brother.

78. 40:33

    and, you know, we, I hope we would go and talk to a friend if we thought that we needed to and we would help and encourage them not to shame them by posting something horrible, that we think they might have done on social media. And so, that’s what Proverbs talks about. This is the correct way to do it.

79. 40:55

    Is better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Profuse are the kisses of an enemy? And the kisses of an enemy, they remind us of Judas. Don’t they who are compared to our Lord? Jesus Christ. Who openly rebuked Peter? Remember that he rebuked him and said, get behind me.

80. 41:15

    Why do you say that? So, he Christ loved Peter. So he openly rebuked him and Judas betrayed Jesus by kissing him. So, what we need to be is true friends, who would openly go and chat to our friends if we thought there was a problem, not be social media, shamers, and post things that we think that they’ve done.

81. 41:34

    On for everyone else to pile on and tell them. They’ve done that wrong too. Just a couple of other problems I want to highlight about social media loneliness and bullying. So, you know, loneliness and you might not realize, but some of your people, the young people that you associate with could be standing around and feeling lonely, and it’s a real problem.

82. 42:03

    And social media sometimes doesn’t help because we can see all these things going on online that people are doing. And we’re not part of it or Worse, we can manufacture things, to be part of it. And know everything you see on social media is true. You know, in fact, many of the most popular Instagram accounts are curated with obscene amounts of effort in makeup and professional photography and lighting and production for a single photograph.

83. 42:36

    Because if they get lots of followers, they get advertisers offering and money and products. So a lot of the stuff you see on social media isn’t actually real, it’s manufactured, And so, you know, if your life is taken over, but to this extent, you’ve gone too far. So that’s where you got to find the boundaries with social media.

84. 42:56

    So don’t don’t feel like you need to fit into this frenzy and don’t feel like you need to respond to every post. Every one of your friends puts up online, you know, your true friend will know, you’re their friend. You don’t have to reassure them by commenting on every post that they put up. And if you were lonely, and you’re looking at other people’s posts, if you don’t remember, they have lots of normal days and normal meals and they’re, perhaps, they’re trying to be give people treats and not posting Every Sandwich. So, look at my Instagram. now it looks fantastic but I’ll tell you, I’ve gone out sailing three times in the last 18 months. And in the 12 months prior to that, I didn’t get out once because we had some big projects on. So I really didn’t go sailing so a lot of these are old photos that I’ve dug up and posted and shared so yeah I don’t post the boring microwave dinners.

85. 43:56

    I eat at my desk at work or my drop boring drive to work each day. So but my life isn’t always that exciting. So, don’t compare your everyday life to my once-in-a-lifetime. Of sailing on Lake Argyle and think that you’re missing out because that’s not my day to day life either. I’m just posting some highlights for friends to chat about with me, so making friends with other people is about communicating in a positive way weather. literal offline as, like real tangible friends, or whether where we’ve made a friend and we’re communicating with them online, And so if you are struggling with interacting and making friends, here’s some really good on advice and probably upstairs.

86. 44:52

    Let another praise you and not your own mouth, a stranger and not your own lips. So you know, don’t boast about yourself and the things that you’re up to. So if you keep big noting yourself and all the wonderful things that you’re doing on social media, people are really going to be that excited about being friends.

87. 45:10

    So, you know, maybe use if you want to make a friend look at other people’s feeds that you sort of know and would like to get to know and you can post selectively some comments about some things that they’ve done that, get a conversation going about things that they’re doing and then maybe post a thing about where you’re up to from time to time.

88. 45:33

    And so if you’re polite and respectful interesting or funny then people will respond to your comments. But if you start posting Like, here’s the great big, you know, boat, I’m on today. And this is the champagne chicken lunch, I’m having now, and it’s all about you. And the fun times you’re having, you don’t actually you get lots of likes, but you won’t actually develop any real friendship.

89. 45:57

    So friendships is about a two-way communication to communication. So, you talk about the things that they’re doing and to start with. So here’s some good advice from the proverbs. He who loves purity of heart whose speech is gracious will have the king as his friend. So, you know, you can think about the true king that will make as a friend, if we have wholesome conversations in the Lord, Jesus Christ, but the straightforward logic is true as well.

90. 46:31

    That if we poles post, wholesome and gracious, things will end up making friends. With people that are upright and have integrity and that, like, wholesome things as well. So, you know, the good thing about social media and having conversations with friends around the places, it’s not like a conversation where you have to think about something on the spot, they post something, you can think about it for a bit and then when you thought of something really, Appropriate and interesting to say in response, maybe a day later or even you can then you’ve got time to think about it before you post so you don’t have to respond straight away.

91. 47:13

    So make the time to develop friendships that are wholesome encouraging by thinking of encouraging things to say to each other. But again, don’t make someone feel sick by commenting on every single one of their posts and make it look like you’ve been over there whole social media profile back 10 years and commented on everything because Remember too much of someone can make someone else feel ill ill.

92. 47:36

    So, just keep it light in Social settings when making friends and be a bit aware about the timing and volume of your communication years. A proverb that says, whoever blesses, his neighbor with a loud voice Rising early in the morning, will be counted as a cursing. So if you’re sending a message at 2 a.m. you know you might be saying hello or trying to have a joke but if your dming Too much at the wrong times and in the wrong way, it will probably be received differently to what you intended and I mentioned at the beginning. We needed to have our social media and online life in balance.

93. 48:21

    Does anyone have with sort of going to run along a bit? But does anyone quickly have a suggestion of perhaps some things that people do if they felt their life was a bit out of control with social media? Hmm.

94. 48:45

    Yeah, yeah prune. Your friends list that you’re following and communicating with. Yep, it’s a good one. I just a couple of Gotti’s actually make some friends, make some plans with friends in RL So get out and let make some actually meet someone for coffee rather than messaging online all the time. It’s really important to have some down time, you know, go out for a run, get some exercise have some thinking time away from it, make that part of your schedule.

95. 49:23

    It’s really important to make time for prayer and the Bible. So, you know, Center yourself with God. Don’t censor yourself over on social media all the time. Really good one that we’ve heard is people going out with friends to dinner, put all your phones in the middle of the table. The first person that picks their phone up, pays the tab and when our kids were little the default rule was no books at the table because the Have a nice dinner and so we have a no phones at the table rule as well.

96. 50:00

    So, I said the other problem that we would deal with just quickly as bullying on the way they are, just want to point out, one of my pet peeves, it’s the prank stuff that’s endemic online. You know. None of them are clever jokes. They’re just this like a madman who throws firebrands and arrows and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, I’m only liking, I’m only joking. So instead of deliberately upsetting people for the lulz, you know, we can Actually speak in encouraging things to others. Like, you know, and the New Testament talks about the fruit of our lips.

97. 50:38

    But the Proverbs says that our words can be like a precious fruit, how about this? Proverbs 25, a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. So what this says to me is that we can say something to somebody that’s so positive and helpful. And we’re at the time, we may not realize how helpful that was and that person that we set it to can Treasurer it like a precious.

98. 51:07

    Ointment Ornament. Sorry. And so every so often I can get it out and reflect on what was said to them. And how helpful it was that person said that now, can you think of a time when someone said something to you that you treasure, it could be a school teacher at school, who said something that you’ve done a really good job or ankles a friend who said something.

99. 51:30

    So, can you think of a time when someone said something that really means something to you and even when you pull it out, now, your heart sort of goes, oh yeah, it was so nice. That’s the The positive impact that words can have, you know, could have been helpful advice, maybe it was some praise or encouragement, maybe it was some insight to something you’ve not seen before or maybe it’s just that the way they have expressing themselves. That’s really resonated and stay with you. Maybe it was a point in a talk, once I don’t know, I’m sure there’s something we can all mediately bring to mind that. We just treasure that, that thing was said and we heard it. And perhaps it was said just to us. Well that should be our aim online. You know everything we posed.

100. 52:14

     We should aim to be something that someone else could treasure. To say positive things that are so good and helpful that they resonate with that person. Long, after the page, the posters moved off the front page of their feed. They still remember what we said. So with bullying, sort of running out of time, I’m going to discuss a little bit about what potential actions we could take.

101. 52:40

     So I’ll just run through them here rather than having a discussion. So first thing is we need to adjust, it learn to ignore them, you know, like there’s a difference between friends. Acquaintances. And if there’s stuff coming to us and it’s from acquaintances, it’s not really our friends. We should just number one, ignore it, if they’re not friends like a brother, just put it out of our mind. The other thing we can do is we can block them. So you can block people on social media and then you never have to see anything from them.

102. 53:06

     Again, if it’s serious bullying, it can be, we can report them. So, you know, young people have someone saying hurtful things, never feel like it’s shameful. How to tell your parents and your parents can either take it up with someone else. If it’s really bad, they can go to the authorities and the police there’s laws about it being nasty to people online, and being hurtful and continually harassing people online, it’s against the law. So don’t respond don’t escalate and make things worse. And so yeah, parents if children are struggling at school with like being harassed, you can go to the police. It’s totally fine.

103. 53:47

     And they’ll get in touch with their parents rather than you doing it. Take some bigger down time so I see it in putting limits around our social media. We should have down time every day where we go for walks and do think ride our bikes and do stuff outside and meal times. But if there’s people saying things that are upsetting us, take a bigger break. Number one rule, don’t take the phone to bed because every ding you when you’re trying to sleep you know that there’s someone else talking about that issue.

104. 54:20

     So, you know, get some perspective, leave your phone. Go read some books. Two kids in hospital, go help other people, you know, demonstrate that you’ve got Worth to yourself and that you can help other people. And all these things that people are saying online. Don’t really matter, it’s not the real you. So there’s some suggestions, you know, it’s because it’s easier to say just get over it. But to have to let it go.

105. 54:46

     Is sometimes difficult. So you know you can print them out and burn them like really help yourself get over what they said, throw it away, print it out, throw it away. Like you really need to go to an effort, sometimes to get rid of the problem and a change of scene or always helps too.

106. 55:05

     So in conclusion, this is what we’re aspiring to. And fortunately is what we sung at the beginning, whatever’s, True. Whatever is Honorable, whatever is just whatever is pure. Whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable if there’s any Excellence. If there’s anything worthy of Praise, think about these things and these are the kinds of things that we should be posting online. And what you’ve received heard, and learned and received practice these things.

107. 55:31

     And the God of Peace will be with you. So that should be the measure of what our social media feeds should look like. And the people that we follow online, you know, we should be following movie stars or celebrities that post Scandalous things and risque photos, we should follow people that have got praise worthy and honorable things. And we should follow that in the tone of our posts. In the comments, we make should always be praiseworthy and Excellency.

108. 55:59

     So we’ve seen tonight that trip. There’s there are true friends that can be closer than a brother. And and really the challenge is to be like that for other people. Be a brother or sister to our friends. And Christ says, pray for your enemies, I say to you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. So, if you are suffering from people saying things that hurt, you take it to God In Prayer, lay it out before him. And when you pray to God, it’ll help you get it in perspective. And, you know, just when you pray to God, you’re approaching in Christ.

109. 56:37

     Who if you think about it, he had terrible and hurtful things said. And done said about him and done. Him. So when you pray to God about terrible, things done to you your mediator, that’s taking that prayer. A completely understands terrible and hurtful things because he experienced the worst persecution ever. So don’t be afraid to take things that people have said that hurt you to God In Prayer because Jesus understands and he will intercede on our behalf. so, Yeah, so when we pray to God, we take it to someone who’s got plans for the whole earth.

110. 57:21

     So it’s what I’m saying is, what said to you is not that if somebody says something to you that’s hurtful it’s not insignificant, right? It was hurtful it did hurt. But sometimes when we go to God In Prayer, we get a bigger perspective of God’s purpose on the whole earth and that helps us get over these things. So don’t retaliate and help and support your friends. If Being nasty to them, you can be closer than a brother by helping and supporting them or be like a sister to them and take them out for hot chocolate and things like that. That sisters do.

111. 58:00

     So we’ve seen that life does not consist in the abundance of friends. In fact, many friends can bring someone to ruin the Prodigal Son, felt that. But how true is that? Now our day, where if you’re pandering to all these friends online, you could be well missing out on the meaningful. Interaction of someone right alongside you the true friend that could be just there and social media is just another tool, another communication tool, just like writing a letter or telegram if you A those kids.

112. 58:39

     Don’t ya or calling on a telephone? It’s just another extension of that kind of thing. So it’s transmitting our words and it’s our words that can

113. 58:53

     potentially cause the most damage. And so we need to learn to Bridle our tongue as James said. And you know, we have the ability to do this, pauses with social media are okay in conversations. So, you know, people are doing things, you don’t have to have a real-time conversation, don’t fire back. Someone says something and you’re quite sure.

114. 59:14

     Go away for a walk, get some perspective, think about it before you come back and and pose maybe set send a message tomorrow after you’ve had time to do. Use things because maybe you misinterpreted and took the wrong way, something they said and you don’t want to escalate things and four things. Those people that are obsessed with posting a photo and getting lots of likes, I know that sort of probably more a girl thing to then all have to comment on each other’s thing that they posted instantly the moment they pose so they’ll comment on yours back and we’ll the quiet about to show, really? Is about girls but actually in the Bible but actually applies to all of us.

115. 59:57

     So, first P3, don’t let your or Dawning be external the braiding of the hair and the putting on the gold jewelry and the clothing you wear. So, you know, the Instagram glamour shot that you’re going to take to get lots of likes. Don’t let it be like that. Let it be the adorning of the Hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable, beauty of a gentle and quiet Spirit which in God’s sight is very precious and that’s just as true for the boys as it is the girl.

116. 1:00:22

     So I think Peter’s talking to everyone as he says it’s about the Inner, Man. The qualities inside you that count, and what is the our Inner Man? What’s the depth of our character can that be seen in a witty 140-character statement, or one really professionally, lit and nicely pose. Selfie a character’s, much more bigger, and important than that. And so our characters appreciated by those, that we associate with that a true friends that loved us, Us. But mostly our inner character is appreciated by our heavenly father and our Lord Jesus Christ. And you know the sad fact is

117. 1:01:06

     your friends just like you. And so at some point you’re going to let your friend down and your friend is going to let you down. But there’s one friend that will never let you down. That’s our Lord, Jesus Christ. This is what John says greater love. Has no one than this that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends.

118. 1:01:30

     If you do what I command you so this abundance of friends online, there’s one true friend who would give his life for you. So Jesus is reaching out with true friendship. And if you think about all those things, we’ve said tonight that a true Would do, that’s our Lord. Jesus Christ in all those things and we don’t have to go through life accumulating. Lots of likes for online friends. We only need one.

119. 1:01:57

     True friend one, that’s closer than a brother to us. If we follow his commands and he’s already demonstrated the depth of his love and friendship by laying down his life for us. So it’s up to each of us to want to be like him and to respond to him.