Shane Kirkword - Class 3: With Desire I Have Desired

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   This is day three of the 2010 Idyllwild Bible School. Our first period teacher is Brother Shane Kirkwood. His general subject is Our Lord's Last Week. Today's topic is With Desire I Have Desired.

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   Thank you, Brother Kelly. Good morning, everyone. Good morning. Well, yesterday we finished with the widow casting in all her living and the Lord feeling very much an affinity with her because he was about to do the same. He was about to dedicate himself wholly to the Lord in laying down his life. And John chapter 12 contains really the Lord's last public ministry before he was to be finally taken and eventually crucified.

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   But between John 12 and his eventual arrest and crucifixion, there is a substantial amount of scripture, as we know when we read the Gospels. And at the end of John 12, he says, I am come, in verse 46, a light into the world, that whoever believes on me should not abide in darkness.

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   And yet, even within his own select band of disciples, there was one who continued to abide in darkness. And in Matthew 24, we're told at verse 1 of Matthew 24, And again, we have to put our circumstances in the Lord's last book. We have to put ourselves in the context of the context of the mindset of the disciples who believed that the kingdom of God was about to be established.

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   And for that statement to be said to them must have been amazing. Because that temple represented all that was substantial and secure about their worship. A temple that took 46 years to build. So, Jesus sits with them upon the Mount of Olives. And it's quite clear that when the Lord made that statement to them about not one stone left upon another, it was something that really troubled them.

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   And so they came to him on the Mount of Olives. And they said, tell us, when shall these things be? And we can understand that. If someone said that to me and I was standing in the city of Sydney and they said the Opera House is going to collapse and the Harbour Bridge will fall into the Harbour, I'd want to know when that was going to happen.

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   At the very least, to make sure I wasn't in it or driving on it at the time it occurred. But for them, that represented their nation's centre of worship. So the Lord then unfolds to them what we now know as the Olivet Prophecy. Now, I'm not going to go through the Olivet Prophecy this morning.

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   It's a subject, of course, all on its own. But you go through the Gospel of Matthew. Matthew, and we finally come to Matthew chapter 26. And it said in Matthew 26, at verse 1, it came to pass when Jesus had finished all these sayings, he said unto his disciples, you know that after two days is the feast of the Passover.

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   And the Son of Man is betrayed to be crucified. Then assembled together the chief priests and the scribes and the elders of the people under the palace of the high priest, who was called Caiaphas, and consulted that they might take Jesus by subtlety and kill him. But they said, not on the feast day, lest there be an uproar among the people.

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    So we see these two things going on concurrently. The Lord giving the Olivet Prophecy about the destruction of the temple at the very same time that they're conspiring to destroy him.

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    But the stipulation was that it couldn't be on the feast day. They'd already suffered enough humiliation at the hands of the Lord with the parables that he told in recent days about them and their rejection of him. They'd suffered enough seeing him enter into the temple and overthrow the tables and the money changers and heal the lame and the blind.

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    They'd suffered enough seeing that the world had gone after him, they said. They wanted an end to their own humiliation and suffering. That's where they saw their own position. Losing ground. So they wanted to re-establish their authority. And they wanted to take Jesus and humiliate him and make him suffer. So they're making plans.

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    And in Luke chapter 22, verse 3, it says, Then entered Satan into Judas, surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve. And he went his way and communed with the chief priests and captains how he might betray him unto them. And they were glad. That'd be an understatement, wouldn't it? Now, things were getting really desperate for them.

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    Now, I believe there'd been contact between Judas and the chief priests and Pharisees before. But now there's a second stage to this. And he says, I know when you can take him. I've got inside information. I know how you can take him in the absence of the multitude. And so they covenanted to give him money.

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    Now, I believe there would have been a down payment. Just think about that. Judas, I believe, carried the down payment when he went to the Last Supper.

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    Think about that in the terms of what would unfold. that somewhere on his person, Judas carried into the Last Supper the down payment of his betrayal of his master. And it says in Luke 22, verse 6, he promised and sought opportunity to betray him unto them in the absence of the multitude. the stage had been set.

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    The betrayer had now clearly switched sides but still remained within the 12. And so came the day of unleavened bread and the Passover must be killed and he sent Peter and John, it says in Luke 22, verse 8, saying, Go and prepare unto us the Passover that we may eat. And they said to him, Where do you want us to prepare?

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    And he said, Go into the city. There shall a man meet you bearing a pitcher of water. Follow him into the house where he enters. And you shall say unto the good man of the house, The master said unto thee, Where is the guest chamber where I shall eat the Passover with my disciples?

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    And he shall show you a large upper room furnished. There make ready. Now of course at his birth there was no room in the inn. There was nowhere for Mary to have the saviour. But as his death approached there was a large upper room. Room for all. There's still a large upper room, isn't there?

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    Because the time had not yet come for him to return and there are still disciples making their way to the large upper room. And it gives you a sense that the Lord here was elevating them. He was trying to take them above everything that was happening down there in the city. All the conspiracy and the hostility.

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    and he's seeking somewhere where they can spread out for these last few hours and he can raise their thinking to the things that matter.

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    And there was Judas in their midst in the large upper room. And Luke 22 says, and when the hour was come he sat down and the twelve apostles with him and he said to them, with desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer.

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    J.B. Phillips says, with all my heart I have longed for. desire. The actual word in the Greek for desire is lusted. Craved. It's a very very strong word. It's not just, it would be nice to have a meal with you before I go. It's I need. I crave to share this meal with you.

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    I am desperate for us to have this time together. Jesus desperately wanted fellowship. So often we don't see the Lord's need in the Gospels. We somehow think he went through this whole ordeal and almost remained except for on a couple of occasions untouched by the struggle of his own humanity. Nothing could be further from the truth.

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    Do you know, he says in John 17, which is a prayer he would give after these events, he says, father, speaking of his 12 apostles, thine they were. He said, father, they belong to you and you gave them to me. They're a gift from his father. The world's greatest person wanted to share a meal with fishermen from Galilee.

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    You think of the dignitaries of this world and if they had opportunity to assemble a last meal, who would they choose? I don't think they choose fishermen from Galilee. They'd make sure they surrounded themselves with people of equal self-importance just so that everybody knew what their standing was in the world community.

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    But here was the world's greatest person craving a last meal with men from Galilee. He's leaving them. He's going to leave them behind. And he knew that and they didn't know that. And it's almost like when you read this record, there's the disciples living in a parallel universe, we say today, don't we?

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    They're somewhere else in their mind. They're not focused. when he said, before I suffer, it just went over the top. Despite everything he'd said. For he said to them, I saying to you, I will not eat any more thereof until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God. And they're thinking, oh, that's fine.

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    That's tomorrow. It's just around the corner. We don't have long to wait. Despite the fact that he'd given them the Olivet Prophecy, the Passover was about leaving, wasn't it? It was about being ready. It was about having your staff in your hand and your feet shot and your loins girded.

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    But they weren't ready. They weren't ready at all for what would overtake them. Paul says when he comments on this event, he says, Jesus, the same night in which he was betrayed.

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    Just let that sink for a moment. You're going to die. Where are your thoughts? The next 24 hours are going to be the most difficult and excruciating hours of your life. Where are your thoughts? I know where mine would be. It would be all on me.

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    Jesus weren't. His thoughts were for his disciples, for what was coming, for the events would just blow their world apart. God. All our excuses that we make, and we all make them at times, for not wanting to share fellowship with brothers and sisters, for staying away from our memorial meeting, whatever the reason might be, all of those pale into insignificance when you think about the Lord.

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    God. And what it tells us is that he longed for fellowship, and that we ought to too. And so when sometimes the memorial meeting comes around and we say, I don't want to go today, I don't feel up to it, I don't feel right, I'd rather stay home, I'd rather do something else, I'm not focused.

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    That's no excuse. fellowship. The more stressed and under pressure we feel, the more we need fellowship, the more we need to be there, the more we need to desire.

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    I tell you what, sometimes my desire for the breaking of bread is not very strong. It's really, oh well, I'll go there, it's what I do, but I'm not focused on it. we need this fellowship. It's our lifeline. And the more the pressures of this world increase in our life, the more we need to be with Jesus, to crave that fellowship.

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    And so it says that Jesus took the cup and gave thanks and said, take this and divide it among yourselves for I say unto you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God shall come.

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    But I want to pick up the record in John 13 for a moment. And it's very difficult, I know, to juggle all these records to try and get a chronology.

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    John 13, we're told now before the feast of the Passover when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.

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    Just think about that verse that says that he should depart out of this world unto the Father. Think about the Lord's mindset there. What does that mean? As he sits down with them and he breaks bread and drinks wine. He's going to the Father. You know, in Hebrews chapter 12 it says, for the joy set before him, he endured the cross, despised the shame.

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    What did going to the Father mean? He'd never seen his Father. heaven. He'd never been to heaven. But in his mind, that's where he saw, I'm going to the Father with all that that meant. To see his Father for the first time, to see the angels that had sustained him in his ministry, to actually see the throne, to be there.

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    And yet here he was at the end of his life, there in that city, surrounded by all that hatred, just trying to keep these disciples afloat.

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    And he loved them to the utmost. He did absolutely everything he could for them. And so Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God, there was no question of his origin, despite the fact that the religious leaders tried to make it a question, there was no doubt about where he was heading.

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    He wasn't unsure about what his future eventually held. He rose from supper, laid aside his garments, and took a towel and girded himself, because the pot of water that had been carried to the upper room had remained untouched. Why was that? Because the disciples were debating about who would be greatest in the kingdom of God, and the kingdom was tomorrow.

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    And if you want to be great in the kingdom of God, they're thinking, well, I'm not going to wash anybody else's feet, because the first person that goes and takes up that towel and that water is number 12.

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    And we don't want to be number 12, do we? we want to be number one. They completely misunderstood what service was. And so you can imagine them sitting there watching Jesus do this with rising horror, that none of them had been able to overcome their own self-importance.

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    Debate was still going on at the last supper about who was going to be the greatest. And you imagine if your best friend was about to die and they sent out an invitation. And they said he's going to share a last meal with his closest friends. Can you please come?

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    And can make sure that you do absolutely everything you can so that he will enjoy the last meal with you and you will just make it comfortable and easy for him to spend this time with you? I'm sure every one of us would accede to that request wouldn't we? We would for the moment, for the duration of the meal, put aside those things that between us might have been an aggravation.

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    But it tells you that they didn't understand what was happening here because they were still debating. So Jesus pours the water into the dish and begins to wash the disciples' feet and wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded. And you just get the feeling that if you were there you'd be going, oh no.

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    How could none of us have done this? How could none of us have foreseen that he would do this? Because we know the character of the man that we've followed for three and a half years. He serves everybody.

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    You'd be smitten by this. And he comes to Simon Peter and isn't it true that Simon Peter was the spokesman for what everybody else was feeling? So often and that had been the case in his ministry, hadn't it? The others would remain silent and they'd keep it in and they didn't want to express it, but not Peter.

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    he says, Lord, are you going to wash my feet? Jesus said to him, what I do now, you don't know, but you'll know afterwards. Peter said, Lord, you will never wash my feet.

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    Jesus answered, if I wash thee not, you have no part with me. Simon Peter said to him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head. Do the whole thing. He goes from one to the other, like we so often do, that impetuosity. But you know about Peter, he wanted to be with Jesus.

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    And despite our failures, we want to be with him too. And I can relate to that. I'm sure we all can. wash me all over. He says to Jesus, Jesus said, he that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but he's clean every whit. And you are clean, but not all.

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    For he knew who should betray him. Therefore he said, you are not all clean. Now just think about that. What he's saying is that there was one person there who was unwashed.

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    How could that be? Because all of them had been with Jesus for over three years. What is it telling us about Judas? it's telling us that Judas had never been washed. That in all those years, the Lord's ministry had never actually touched his heart. Is that possible? Sure it's possible. There are times when I read my Bible, but it's not touching my heart, it's just words on the surface.

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    And so Judas in all of that time was a thief. And the words of the Lord never penetrated to the point where they actually washed him and changed him. They did to Peter, but they never did to Judas. betrayed. And so we all see that Peter denied, but Judas betrayed. And there's a difference.

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    There's clearly a difference between a denial and a betrayal. All of us will deny at times. Pray God that we don't betray. Because that's where Judas stood.

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    And so you can imagine the disciples being absolutely humiliated by having their Lord and Master wash their feet. But I want you to think for a moment if Jesus hadn't have done that. If Jesus had have said, look, I do miracles. I raise the dead. I give sight to the blind. I heal the cripples, but I don't do feet washing.

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    That's for somebody else. What would you think of Jesus if he had said that? And in the record it said, Jesus said when the water was there with the pitcher and the towel, he said, look, I don't do feet washing.

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    I'm far more important than that. That would change our perspective of him, wouldn't it? Everything that Jesus did, both before and after this event, showed that his service was genuine.

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    It didn't matter to him. He knew who the greatest person was. Do you know, if we can carry in our minds a sense that we go to the Father, and by that I mean we are going to the kingdom, then we can pick up the spirit of the Lord's service. Because we can go through life and say, it doesn't matter.

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    They want me to clean the toilet? I don't care. That's service. I'm going to the kingdom. I'm assured of that. And so whatever it takes in the service of my master, I'll do it. Because he did it. And he was the greatest. And he said, the first shall be last and the last shall be first.

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    And he proved it by his own ministry. People who serve are happier. That's what Jesus said. Happy are you if you understand the lesson of service.

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    But think about for a moment those feet that Jesus washed. Where had they been? All over. Everywhere. He knew the thoughts and intents of those men. He knew the struggles of their life. He knew their fledgling faith. And he washed their feet. And when he got to Judas, the feet had just come from the house of the high priest.

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    The dust was still there. And so he kneels down and he washes Judas' feet. And I would be so tempted if it was me, and I've thought about this often, to get a hold of his foot and to just give it a twist.

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    Did that hurt? Not nearly enough. What about the other one? twist it. Pull his toes. Dig my fingers in. Not at all. When he kneeled down and washed the feet of Judas, he took the same care and devotion as he did to all the other disciples. I could not do that. Why did he do that?

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    This man is going to betray him to death. He did it because he loved Judas. And that's almost impossible to fathom. I want you to think about our feet just for the moment. Because so often we can be critical of the disciples.

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    What sort of feet do you bring to the master's table? Think about where your feet have been in the last month. And when I say feet, I mean not just your feet but your mind. Because our feet go where our mind directs, don't they?

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    And you come to the Lord's table with the dust on your feet. so often of denial. So often out there in the world, I've pretended I didn't know him. Didn't want to know him. And yet I expect when I come to his table, as I did at the last supper, and I sit round, I expect that the Lord will wash my feet.

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    And not just my feet, but my whole person. And that I'll make my excuses for why I just couldn't seem to keep on track. And I'm sorry, Lord, but I'm here again and I'm dragging in with me all of those things that I thought, that I said, that I did. Will you wash me again?

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    And he will. Do you know, those feet that he washed were going to depart, weren't they? And they didn't know it yet, but there was going to be an enormous struggle for them. And those feet, the very same ones that he washed, when the time came, and we will see it, they would flee over the garden wall of Gethsemane and disappear into the dark.

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    And he'd washed them. But the great comfort is that of all those feet, there was only one pair that never returned. And that's sad.

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    As much as we know there had to be a betrayer, and scripture tells us that there was one pair of feet that would never come back, that would never again find light in the service of the master. Jesus knew that the father had given him all things and that he could wash those feet.

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    And despite all our failures and the things we drag back in when we want to be washed yet again, do you know what Paul says? He says to us in Romans 8, 32, he who did not spare his own son but delivered him up for us all. How shall he not with him freely give us all things?

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    If we can hang in there, if we can keep coming back in the master's service. verse 1, and so it came to the time where he says to them, having washed their feet, truly I say to you, one of you, and Mark says in Mark 14 verse 18, which each with me shall betray me.

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    just imagine the impact of that statement. One of you, someone in this very room, and if it was me, and I knew which one of you it was, I would be focusing my attention on you right at this very moment, so I'm not going to focus on anybody. I wouldn't dare.

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    But we would have, and I would have said one of you. But in all of those three and a half years, Jesus had never let on. He'd never given it away.

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    And they were horrified. They were horrified. And they asked the question, Lord, is it I? And you look within yourself and you say, Lord, is it I?

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    And I know that many times I've denied, but I hope I couldn't have it in me to betray, and yet it's possible. So the question has to be asked. God's and more than that, he says, the hand of him that betray me is with me on the table.

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    And so Peter wants to know, of course, doesn't he? Like everybody, we'd all want to know. So he sends the whisper to John, find out.

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    Find out who it is. We desperately want to know. And so Jesus says, the man to whom I give the sop. And I used to think that it was given to Judas because it was just a means of identifying who it was that should betray him, but that's not true at all. When I did a bit of research, I found that the sop was actually a cake made with figs and raisins and nuts, and it was reserved especially as an honour to the closest friend.

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    Wow. What was Jesus doing here? He was trying to save Judas. And we could say, but it was written in scripture that there must be the betrayer.

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    The man that I took counsel with has lifted up his heel against me, says the psalmist. But even right down to the end, he passes the offer of friendship to Judas.

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    Just think of that. Do you know there were only two people in that room that were living in what we'd call real time? The rest were in the parallel universe. And so you just imagine the eye contact. Do you know if someone was going to do that to you? I wouldn't be able to look at them.

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    I just can't cope with this. This man is going to make sure I'm dead, crucified. Judas, just go. But there was eye contact. There was real, meaningful eye contact. There is imploring eye contact. there is Judas, it's still not too late.

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    Think of Judas. It's between Jesus and him now. The others are to the side. What are you going to do? Judas, stay. And in his mind the struggle was over because the enemy had already taken him.

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    The diaglot says the enemy having put into the heart of Judas. The battle was lost. In your own time, you go to Proverbs 1 and 2 and you can see, I only recently saw this just when I was sitting down reading Proverbs and I'm doing Proverbs with the young people in the next session.

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    And I said to them yesterday, these words are real. You might think they're just on a page and you might think it's just theory, but when it comes to the crunch, it'll be about the amount of those scriptures that you've got in your heart as to whether you make the right or wrong decision.

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    Judas was enticed by sinners and the word wasn't in him. It had never touched his heart. Oh, that's a powerful lesson because these words are real. and when we leave here, we've had a great week together but it will depend on how much of this has touched our heart as to whether we make the right or the wrong decision.

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    And so in that light, he hands the sop to Judas and they're absolutely focused on each other. and it says, he then having received the sop went out immediately. Why?

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    Because he couldn't bear the tension. He couldn't keep looking at Jesus. He couldn't let his eyes linger on the man who had done so much for him. Jesus said, what you got to do, do quickly.

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    And it says so eloquently in John 13 verse 30, and it was night. He'd left the Passover house. He'd left the doorposts and the lintels behind. He was now travelling outside the safety of the Passover house. And the angel of death was not far away as he made the lonely trek to the house of the high priest.

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    And so Jesus shares the bread and the wine with his disciples. And I could spend a whole session on the bread and the wine.

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    All I want to say is this, they are two things that are extremely simple. You can find them anywhere in the world and Jesus would know that in coming days those two elements of bread and wine would bind us together, could be found all over the world. And yet though they're simple, you think about the process by which they're formed.

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    It's extremely complex. It takes an enormous amount of labour. And they represent the Lord's life. That he laboured with such intensity to produce something by which he could be remembered in simplicity. The bread and the wine. Lord had been extremely troubled in spirit at the fact that the betrayer had been right there.

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    But after Judas had made his decision and he'd gone, there now was opportunity for Jesus to focus on those disciples that were left in this intimate setting.

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    And he says to them in Luke 22 verse 28 and I find this verse absolutely amazing. He says, you are they which have continued with me in my temptations.

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    Wow. They had done. Up until this point. But they'd waxed and they'd waned and they'd argued and they'd wanted to be the greatest. But despite all of that he says, you've continued with me in my temptations.

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    And that's incredibly comforting. as a disciple of the Lord. Because it tells us that despite all our difficulties, if we are prepared to continue with him and to recognise in him alone the source of our strength and our renewal, he'll do for us what he did for those men. The same men that shortly would go to sleep in the garden, would disappear from the garden, would deny that they ever knew him.

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     And you think that could be among the greatest of sins and the Lord says, no, you've continued with me in my temptation and he knew what was coming. He says, I appoint unto you a kingdom as my father has appointed unto me. And he's done the same for us, if we believe it, if we're prepared to stay with him.

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     And he says that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has desired to have you. It wasn't just Judas they were looking for, they were looking for anybody to change sides. Satan has desired to have you that he may shift you as wheat, but I've prayed for you.

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     Do you think the Lord prays for us when he makes intercession and he looks at our life and he sees in us a Peter and he sees our struggles and he says the enemy wants them but I've prayed for them and he says I've prayed that your faith doesn't fail and it did but it was momentary just think about having Jesus pray for you really pray for you not like our prayers when we're tired and we're weak and we pray but our heart is not in it when the Lord prays for you he prays for you he's focused he's there with you he wants you and Peter said Lord I'm ready to go with you both to prison and to death and he said I will tell you Peter the cock shall not crow this day before you shall deny me thrice deny that you ever knew me and so we're going to leave them there just on the edge at the end of the last supper but I want to say this that so often we struggle within ourselves and we say if I can just be better the Lord will love me he will love me I'm convinced that if I just manage to hold it together he'll love me and I've done that but that's not the truth the truth is he's already loved us he's already given his life and Paul says in Galatians 2 the life I live now I live by faith in the son of God who has loved me and gave himself for me that's our position we're serving a Lord that has already loved us the

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     importance for us is what's our response to the love he's already demonstrated to love to love to the love !