Ben Brinkerhoff - Overcoming Resentment - Class 5 - The Power of Empathy

Automatically transcribed. Accuracy is good but not perfect, and words are sometimes wrong. Trust the audio over the text.

1. 0:00

   All right, well, this is day five of the Rocky Mountain Bible School. This is Class 1, and our brother Ben Brinkerhoff is going to deliver the address. And the title of the address. Is Judas Iscariot Destroyed by resentment or overcoming resentment? Neither. Neither. It’s neither of those he will tell you.

2. 0:24

   Yeah, we’re going to talk about Judah and the power of empathy. Judah and the power of empathy. But what I’ll do is I’ll just pause while Nate Badger settles himself in.

3. 0:43

   You ready? You ready now? All right, All right. Good morning. Rocky Mountain Bible School. It’s a little bit sad. That’s the last time I’m going to be saying that this week.

4. 1:00

   It’s been a real. Pleasure to be with you and I do have the wonderful memories. Was that the year? That my friend Josh Barrett threw up in someone’s suitcase. Yeah, yeah. Who was that? It was that English brother. And he was trying my friend Josh, right? He got sick and it was the first night and we’d just come from Idyllwild.

5. 1:20

   And so he got out of the bunk bed thinking he was going to go to the door where the Idyllwild bunk was. And he couldn’t find the door because the door wasn’t there and he had to throw up. So what he did is he, is he unzipped someone’s suitcase. It might have been Joe Palmer, right? And and then you can, I just want you to imagine a dealt Welsh accent.

6. 1:43

   Why did you unzip the suitcase, right? You could have thrown up on top of the suitcase. I don’t think Josh had an answer right in his. Delirium. He thought that was wise. Yeah, that was fun that week. I remember seeing the the ants go marching for like 2 straight hours. That was Joe Palmer. That was him.

7. 2:09

   OK now back to this week. So I have asked myself the question many times and I hope you’re starting to ask yourself the question. What turns Judah around?

8. 2:22

   How does this man go from selling his brother into slavery, leaving the ecclesia, marrying out of the. Truth seeing prostitutes. Because he resents his brother, he resents his father, he resents his life to a point where we see later where he’s in a position of leadership and courage and self sacrifice. And the question I’m really asking is, can I change like that too?

9. 2:54

   What’s required to make that type of change? And if the problem begins with self importance, the answer at heart must be to deconstruct that attitude of self importance, of blame and judgement, and move somehow some way towards humility and acceptance. And this began the moment that Judah was humbled by Tamar’s grace in light of his cruelty, Tamar’s unmerited kindness and loyalty. It smashed through Judah’s whole tit for tat, self justified get even paradigm that he was living in and swimming in and allowed him to see a certain inner truth. And inner truth was that she is more righteous than I, That I am wrong.

10. 3:56

    I’m Jude, I’m wrong, and I have been wrong. And living in wrong for a long time. And if the truth was obvious enough and powerful enough to leave Judah without any excuse or blame, then maybe we’re ready to change. You know, I remember how my parents hated excuses, right? And I thought the excuses were the perfect justifier for all my behavior.

11. 4:33

    Remember, Dad, It was Tabby’s fault, right? And somehow you didn’t really see the wisdom of that, did you, Dad? No, right? And And because as long as I had an excuse, now I know this is apparent. I didn’t know this growing up, right? But as a parent, you, you know when, when you’re disciplining a child and they say it’s their siblings fault, Do you know one thing for certain?

12. 4:59

    They’re not learning nothing. They’re not learning anything. You know that whatever mistake they just made, they will for sure make it again. It’s not done. Am I alone in that parental experience? That was true of me growing up. As long as I could blame Tabitha or blame someone else, I was not going to learn.

13. 5:20

    Blame was the shield in which I was immune to learning. I could have been disciplined. I could have been spanked or grounded or whatever it was. I could have faced the consequence but didn’t learn anything because really, I wasn’t wrong. The other person was wrong.

14. 5:42

    Judah was not going to make any progress until he could see clearly and absolutely that he was wrong. And once he gave up false justifications and once that began, then restoration could begin to happen. And Tamar’s grace was God’s instrument to get this message through to Judah. And one can only wonder if Judah started finally started to see some truths about himself, that maybe then he was able to start to see some truths about others.

15. 6:12

    And the 1st and most important of these truths is that he was not different or better than the people he resented. Let’s take Jacob for an example. Judah may have had a pretty terrible resentment against Jacob. We can understand why. See, Jacob married a wife he never intended to marry, and favor the children of the wife he loved more than the children of the wives that he did not love. But now Judah could also see that he had married a woman he didn’t intend to.

16. 6:47

    And he had favored his son Sheila over Tamar, even when he knew in himself that doing that was wrong. He wasn’t ignorant that it was wrong. He was just afraid to do what was right.

17. 7:03

    So was Judah really any better? Judah may have further recognized that he wasn’t exactly. The world’s greatest son. His resentful attitude had caused him to disrespect his father to fail and his responsibility to look after the flocks and to and to lie. See, without the shield of blame, Judah might have been able to see some truths about himself.

18. 7:31

    Let’s take another example. Judah probably had a pretty terrible resentment against Rachel, and we can understand why we’re told that Rachel envied and hater to Sister Leah. Well, if, if Judah considered for a moment, he could relate. He had envied his brother Joseph and hated him as well, even though Joseph really hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

19. 7:55

    Was was Judah really better than Rachel? Again, without the shield of blame, Judah might be able to see the truth about. Himself. If Judah’s mind was open now to see the truth about himself, he might be open to seeing the truth about other people. And the truth was this. Jacob and Rachel and others, they weren’t really trying to hurt Judah.

20. 8:28

    They were spiritually sick. And being sick, they did what sick people do. What do sick people do? Well, they try to make themselves feel better. And to do that, yes, they might be selfishly inconsiderate, they might step on some toes, but so did Judah.

21. 8:53

    He was the same in favoritism and envy and in hate. Was Judah any better? Listen, if you want to stay unwell spiritually and well, then please conclude that you’re better. If you conclude that you’re better, you’re better, you’re a better Christadelphian, you’re a better human being, then you will stay. Sick and you will stay. Angry.

22. 9:17

    But if you actually want to get well, you must see that other people are made of the same stuff you are. And if you were in their shoes, with their fears, with their background, with the threats they’re facing, you couldn’t do that. You couldn’t act the way they acted, you couldn’t or you couldn’t even understand how it could be that they’d act the way they did.

23. 9:42

    If you conclude that you will stay sick and they will stay the blame and no healing will go forward. If he’s truly. Changing Judah’s going to be able to do something pretty important and the pretty important. Thing is, he would be able to understand what empathy. Is empathy is created out of two words M which means with and pathos which means pain.

24. 10:12

    So if you’re empathetic it means you’re able to understand the pain of others and Judah will be able to understand that the ones that hurt him are human and frail too. And when you understand that the people that hurt you are like you, then this this cold, isolating, debilitating, self important judgement. It starts to melt.

25. 10:38

    Now there’s verses that suggest to us that empathy when combined with God’s will and righteousness is a very scriptural idea. One of those verses is Matthew Chapter 7 verse 12 where we read therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye Even so to them, for this is the law and the prophets.

26. 11:03

    Now behind this verse is a simple idea that will see Judah embrace. It is enlightenment to understand how our actions make someone else feel. You can understand their feelings because people are not really that different from you, and knowing this is the key to loving them as you would love yourself.

27. 11:30

    A point according to Paul. Empathy is a quality we’re in to develop after we’ve been shown grace. And Paul’s word for this is tender hearted. What’s this first we’ve looked at earlier? Be kind to one another. Tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.

28. 11:52

    Now we’re told about Jesus and empathy in Hebrews chapter 4, verses 15 and 16. We’re told that we have a high priest which we did not, a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like us, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find help in time of need.

29. 12:20

    Now we can. Understand, brethren, so can’t we that Jesus is touched with our infirmities. We can all, everyone understand that is that is that clear? Jesus is touched with our infirmities, whatever that infirmity is, that you may struggle with health or emotional distress, but can you understand that others are also touched with Jesus infirmities? Can we see that that that it’s not just me and Jesus, It’s me and you and Jesus.

30. 12:57

    We all have the same infirmities in common. Or will you continue to isolate yourself with the myth? Do you know what the myth is? I’m different.

31. 13:10

    No one understands me. As long as you can continue to say I’m different, no one understands me, then those are the lies at the at the heart of self importance. And you know what you get to do, right? If you’re saying I’m different, no one understands me right? You get to fold your arms and judge and be better.

32. 13:38

    And be angry and be discontent. And be broken inside. You get to be self important because of your suffering. You are so important because of your suffering.

33. 14:04

    It’s clear that empathy is at the heart of Judas change of heart. We see this empathy, right? It’s it’s got to be the empathy is the way forward here. And this is not just me making this thing up. It’s got to be the empathy is at the heart of Judas change because the moment the crescendo of this whole story is one that is full of empathy. So to jump straight to the end, but we’ll fill in the details before.

34. 14:34

    Joseph not knowing it’s Joseph and and with the consequence of Benjamin being locked away in Egyptian prison and going back to his father empty handed, Judah’s going to stand in front of Joseph. He’s going to say for how shall I go up to my father and the lad be not with me, lest per venture I see the evil that shall come upon my father.

35. 14:57

    That’s empathy. That’s what’s happening here. You see it? Do you see it? He can feel his father’s pain. He couldn’t do that before. That’s the change. How did you change? Right there. Underline it. That’s the change. He could feel someone else’s pain. He can understand how they would feel now. Had had Jacob repented.

36. 15:23

    Had he? How do you repented? A favoritism. He had not. That’s the change. He was able to feel his father’s pain. But you think to yourself, I’m happy to do that. But they got to repent first. Ever thought that? Yeah. I’ll show a bit of empathy when they come groveling on their knees, Right? What if that doesn’t happen?

37. 16:03

    How long will you stay angry? How long will you stay hurt? How long will you stay bitter? Of course, by feeling and acting on the pain of others, another blow is inevitably dealt to the foundation of self importance, and this had been the foundation upon which Judah had formally built his life. So consider for a moment that Judah can now empathize with his father’s pain at losing a son. Judah could understand how fear had driven Jacob to show favoritism and concerning Benjamin. Why?

38. 16:49

    Because he had done those things, not those exact things. But things close enough where he could understand it. Judah had withheld Sheila from Tamar. Why? Because he was scared. Oh, maybe my father was scared. In a sense, Judah can say, I get you, I’m like you, and surely this would have been a key by which Judah got over himself and reconciled with Jacob.

39. 17:26

    Now, what else besides Tamar’s grace brings Judah to the point of acceptance and empathy and forgiveness? I believe trial played a key role to expand these feelings and thoughts within Judah. And when Judah comes home, he jumps straight into a trial. And Judah finds upon his return to the Jacob’s tents that they’re in disarray, see food as scarce. There’s a vacuum in leadership.

40. 17:53

    And that is evident by the fierceness of Jacob’s rebuke at the start of Genesis chapter 42. Turn with me to Genesis chapter 42, and we’re going to look at verses 1 and 2 now.

41. 18:13

    Now, when Jacob saw that there was corn in Egypt, Jacob said to his sons, why do you look upon one another? Now? Outside of a lack of leadership, Judah would have found upon his return some 22 years later after his left that not much had changed in regards to Jacob’s favoritism. This is why Judah and his brothers were not allowed initially to take Benjamin down into Egypt because verse 4 says there in Genesis chapter 42 it says lest peradventure mischief befall him.

42. 18:49

    So not much a change. Jacob is still acting with fear right and not sending Benjamin. This is why Jacob’s great act of faith, by the way, was blessing Ephraim over Manasseh, because who didn’t want him to do that? By the way, who did not want him to bless Ephraim over Manasseh? Joseph, who is the one person in his life, Jacob definitely didn’t want to disappoint Joseph. So finally, by the end of his life, Jacob recognized Joseph. It doesn’t matter what you.

43. 19:24

    Want. It’s God’s will. And I will be obedient to it. And the writer of the Hebrew he goes. Faith, faith. But Jacob hadn’t yet learned that lesson at this point in time. So when they reach Egypt, they see Joseph. Benjamin’s not there. So turn now to verse 15. And there Joseph is going to test his brothers. We read there.

44. 20:00

    Hereby ye shall be proved. By the life of Pharaoh you shall not go forth hence except your youngest brother. Come, hit her, send one to you and let him fetch your brother, and you shall be kept in prison, that your words may be proved, whether there be any truth in you or else.

45. 20:18

    By the life of Pharaoh, surely ye are spas. And he put them all together in ward three days. Now the brothers were in jail for three days, and they have nowhere to run. They have nowhere to go. All they can do really is talk to one another. And So what do you think they do right?

46. 20:33

    They all seem to reflect on Joseph. And in verse 21 in prison they say to one another, we are barely guilty concerning our brother in that we saw the anguish of his soul when he besought us, and we would not hear. Therefore is this distress come upon us. So why do you think they would think of Joseph? Well, it must be the similarity of their current circumstance. To.

47. 21:04

    Josephs, See, they had been unjustly bound in Egypt. Well, guess who else was unjustly bound in Egypt? Oh, and no one was willing to listen to their cries of innocence. Well, guess what? Guess name someone else who cried? They’re innocent but yet wasn’t listened to. Right? And So what we see is now they can do what? What can they do?

48. 21:33

    Now they can empathize with Joseph. Oh, this is how it feels to be innocent and in jail and no one listening to how innocent you are.

49. 21:53

    Oh, that does not feel good so. Here’s my point. Trial develops empathy. However, by the way that Judah and by contrast Reuben respond to this trial is very telling.

50. 22:16

    Before we contrast Reuben and Judah, because sometimes I see the progress in one person, it’s helpful to see them relative to a straw man who didn’t change. And that straw man who didn’t change was Reuben, right? And. And I just want you to observe for a moment. You know when Jake at the end of Jacob’s life, he blesses his sons and, and this is what he has to say about Reuben in Genesis chapter 49 verse four, he says Reuben is unstable as water. Thou shalt not excel because thou wentest up into thy father’s bed.

51. 22:56

    Now Reuben’s not alone, by the way, in receiving a rebuke rather than a blessing really at the end of Jacob’s life in Genesis chapter 49, because there for a moment Simeon and Levi says about them their instruments of cruelty in are their habitations. So now now considering. Reuben and his major sin and wife, which was, you know, to sleep with his father’s wife. And we know that Simeon and Levi and, and for them, it’s it’s the the murder and massacre at Shechem. But but consider Judah.

52. 23:37

    For a moment he had a checkered. Past he had sold Joseph, he had left the Collegia, he had married a Canaanite, he had slept with his daughter-in-law. But you know, a funny thing? Funny thing, Jacob doesn’t mention any of it in Genesis 49. That seems a bit unfair. What? Why is it that he mentions Reuben right in his bad big bad sin and they mentions Levi and Simeon their big bad sin and and Judah nothing. Why do you suppose that is?

53. 24:19

    My guess is because Judah repented and changed, but Reuben remained unstable as water his whole life. So in regard to the benefits of trial which bring remorse, develop empathy, encourage change, contrasting Reuben and Judy Judah is pretty instructive. See, they were both under similar trials in Egypt, but the trials were kind of the making of Judah and they’re the undoing of Reuben. Why?

54. 24:54

    Well, let’s listen to Reuben explain to himself why change was not happening for Reuben and Reuben’s going to give us some insight about this in Genesis chapter 42 and verse 22. And there we read together. You can follow along your Bibles. And Reuben answered them, saying, this is to the brothers in prison.

55. 25:13

    Spake I not unto you saying, do not sin against a child, and ye would not here behold, therefore behold also his blood is required. OK, there are a couple things notable about Reuben’s response there. Now the first thing is that you notice that Reuben makes the incident of selling Joseph someone else’s fault.

56. 25:36

    He blames. Now maybe legitimately because I don’t think it was his idea, but one thing is is certain about blaming. As long as you have blame, you have a free pass not to change anything about yourself. It’s like my earlier example regarding excuses. My parents knew as long as I had an excuse, I would justify my wrongdoing and change was impossible.

57. 26:00

    It’s a sign that I’m back on this balance of childlike reasoning, looking for false atonement, using blame, covering my sin with the sin of another person. Blame prohibits acceptance, it prohibits self reflection, or it prohibits identification and prohibits restoration. You cannot be restored. From the sin you put on someone. Else. Further, by blaming one other thing that you do is you completely abdicate leadership.

58. 26:31

    Leaders don’t blame. Leaders accept responsibility, which takes backbone. Right. What’s the thing if you’re unstable? As water, right? Water’s going to take the shape of anything it’s in, right? I put water in a cup. It’s going to take the shape of the cup. I put water in a bowl. It’s going to take the shape.

59. 26:50

    Of a bowl, right? There’s no integrity, there’s no backbone. There’s no backbone with blame. If you’re on the AB and there’s a problem in Ecclesia and you blame, then you’re not the person to fix the problem. Period. Tell someone else to do it.

60. 27:09

    I can see some AB brothers. Like they’re nodding right now, right? Yeah. You know that’s true. If you have, if there’s someone on your AB and they’re blaming the ecclesia and there’s a problem, do not put the not do not have that brother lead the change for the problem. I mean, contrast this with with Moses. Moses used we we have sinned.

61. 27:33

    Moses says that had Moses sinned in Exodus 32? No, he hadn’t. Or how about Daniel and Daniel Chapter 9 We have sinned. Had Daniel sinned? No, he hadn’t. They identify. They are authentic leaders. They stand up there accountable. Daniel and Moses were not unstable as. Water, but Reuben was The second thing this verse tells us is that Reuben thought that Joseph’s blood was required.

62. 28:07

    Now Reuben and all the other brothers believe that God was probably out to get them. Joseph was likely dead, and so God required Joseph’s blood. Now this is an idea going back to the time of Noah where it says in Genesis 9 verse six that whoso shed man’s blood by man shall his blood be shed.

63. 28:27

    And on this basis, the brothers probably believe they’re all guilty and they’re all facing inescapable punishment. So if if that’s your belief, right, if you kind of think that that that God is this God of requirement and not that God is in just, but if that’s your framework for understanding God, then then you’re going to blame, right?

64. 28:49

    Because think about the implications of it being your fault. Because of course, you know, God’s a God requirement. So he’s going to punish me. I’m afraid of punishment, so I’m going. To blame, right? I’m going to try to shift that. Responsibility to someone. Else so that I don’t I don’t bear the consequence of this because I’m afraid.

65. 29:10

    Now it’s not that that God does doesn’t care about justice. It’s not that if man if man sins or, or that there’s no culpability or responsibility for that. It’s just that in that framework, where’s the room for mercy? Where’s the room for love? Where’s the room for grace? Where’s the room for patience, the long-suffering? Where’s the room for all the manifold aspects of God’s character?

66. 29:32

    Like I’m just focusing on one aspect. I’m doing that in absence of the others. But an alternative way of viewing trial is one of restoration. In this view, hardship is restorative. It’s corrective. It teaches you something useful and puts you in a position to help others in this world. You trust God even though it’s painful, and you accept the trial.

67. 29:58

    Now, if your view of trial is requirement rather than restoration, if it’s rather than God shaping and molding and making perfect, then you’re going to defend yourself.

68. 30:10

    It’s going to be very difficult to reflect except identify or learn anything, right. But here’s what I want you to see about about Judah. Judah had learned from the last big trial he’s in. What did he learn from that trial? He’d learned so much, benefit from it. Yes, it was a trial and.

69. 30:31

    Yes, it was. Difficult. But now he had two more young sons. Now his his sons had been redeemed. Now he could see that Tamar wasn’t the Sinner he was paying her out to be right now. He could see that Tamar accepted his God as her God and was teaching her sons about his God.

70. 30:55

    So he had learned that trial helps by experience. He’d learned that trial. Helps so as we go through the rest of the. Story I want you to see if you can identify how Judah is is he’s insistent on avoiding blame, avoiding blame, accepting trial and taking responsibility and using empathy. Avoiding blame, accepting trial, taking responsibility and using empathy.

71. 31:24

    I want you to see if you can I see these things in the way that Judah is now going to act and behave. He’s not going to repeat the old mistakes again. So as the food ran out in Jacob’s tents, the brothers need to go back to Egypt. Of course, to do so, they would need to take Benjamin and Jacob was unwilling to send him.

72. 31:45

    So continue on our story. Look on your on your Bibles, open on your laps to Genesis chapter 42 and verse 37 where Reuben gets his last chance to speak.

73. 31:58

    It says there, Reuben, this is Reuben’s words, he says. Slay MY2. Sons, if I bring Benjamin not back to thee and deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to you again. Now, now look at the fierceness of Jacob’s reply to Reuben at this time. That’s found in verse 38 of chapter 42 in Genesis.

74. 32:23

    This is Jacob’s reply to Reuben. He said, my son shall not go down with you for his brother is dead and he is left alone. By the way, if you ever thought that Jacob had some suspicion that maybe the brothers were behind Joseph’s death, this is where you, this is the evidence you’d go to, to, to conclude that. Now we don’t know for sure, but he, he seems to think his brother’s dead, right?

75. 32:48

    With your lack of responsibility rather than maybe an evil beast, right? But who knows? I’m speculating a little, a little bit there. For his brother is dead, and he is left alone. If mischief befall him by the way in which ye go, then ye bring down my Gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.

76. 33:10

    So why did Jacob respond so strongly? I suggest it’s this simple reason, like Reuben promised that if he failed, someone else would pay the truly absurd price and take the blame. He didn’t take personal responsibility. And frankly, it’s as evident from his blessing in Genesis 49. Jacob didn’t trust him. So now look at Judah now. Now imagine Judah sitting there and Judah’s hearing Reuben say, slay my two sons.

77. 33:45

    Now what’s Judah thinking? God’s already slaying my two sons. That’s not a good solution. So Judah now steps up into the leadership role here. And we read in Genesis chapter 43 and verse 3. And Judah spake unto Jacob, saying, the man did solemnly protest unto us, saying, Ye shall not see my face, except your brother be with you. If you will send our brother with us, we will go down and buy the.

78. 34:18

    Food. But if thou wilt not send him, we will not go down for the mad man. Send to us. You shall not see my face, except your brother be with you. So Judy did something that I think would have been pretty unique in his family. He dealt with the issues head on. There’s no attempt to dodge the problem, no attempt to shirk responsibility, no attempt to deceive, no attempt to find an easier, softer way even when the situation was scary.

79. 34:52

    He put it simply and clearly. So Jacob didn’t like the reality of the situation though, right? And Jacob protests and says, wherefore tell ye so I’ll with me as you tell the man whether ye had a brother. That’s verse 6. Now notice the brother’s reply. Now you can be sure this isn’t Judas reply, because Judas reply will come next, right?

80. 35:16

    So this is the brothers. Who knows which of the brothers it was right, but this was their reply. And notice what’s wrong about their reply as I read it to you. And they said the man asked us straightly of our state and of our kindred saying, is your father yet alive? Have you another brother? And we told him, according to the tenor of these words, could we certainly know that he would say, bring your brother down. South So what do you know about what do you what do you observe about that that statement right here’s what I hear I hear an excuse it’s another failure to accept responsibility now the issue is not whether.

81. 35:57

    The brothers were right or wrong in terms of what they were saying and and the facts of it that in saying that they had another brother and saying that to Joseph, although that’s the question that Jacob asked. The real issue is what? What’s the real issue? Jacob is scared, and he’s scared to some Benjamin with them. But by defending themselves, the brothers reinforced within Jacob the same thought.

82. 36:32

    I can’t trust you. When the chips are down, you defend yourself. So Judah now is going to have another chance to speak. Judah has the empathy to see that Jacob’s real concern is about Benjamin’s safety, and he dealt with the heart of his father’s fear. Verses 8 to 10 of Genesis 43. And Judah said unto Israel, his father, Send the lad with me, and we will arise and go, that we may live and not die, both we and thou, and also our little ones. I will be surety for him of my hand. Thou shalt require him if I bring him not into thee, and set him before thee, and let me bear the blame forever. For except we had lingered, surely we had returned this second time.

83. 37:30

    Now, I think Jacob now heard something that he hadn’t really heard in about 22 years. Enjoy what? That was one of his. Boys taking responsibility.

84. 37:43

    In doing so, Judah was very wise, because Judah quoted someone in this passage. You know who he quotes? Yeah, he quotes Jacob, because Jacob had said, I’ve heard there’s corn, Egypt get you down thither and buy for us that from thence. That we may live and not die. So what does? What does Judah do?

85. 38:14

    Showing that Judah was now listening rather than defending. Judah says, Send the lad with me, and we will rise and go. That we may live and not die, both we and thou. And also our little ones. So Jacob listened.

86. 38:42

    Why? Well, Judah spoke of keeping the little ones alive. Reuben spoke of killing his sons. Jacob said he would be responsible. Judah made someone else responsible. See, leaders take responsibility. That’s my point. And by doing that, they bring groups together. They do that to preserve life. And no matter what happens, leaders don’t run away. I’ve no time to develop chapter 43 further, primarily because Judah has no more speaking parts. Although I’ll point this out in verse 29 of chapter 43, Joseph greets Benjamin in a particular way. He says, God be gracious unto thee, my son. And I think in that sentence we have the question and the answer the next chapter, and the question, the answer to the next chapter is what?

87. 39:46

    Who would God work with to show grace to Benjamin? Because you and Joseph knew he said this. Trial will not. End until Benjamin sees grace.

88. 40:01

    So how does he greet Benjamin? God be gracious unto thee. So we’re going to. Have to see Judah having received grace, show grace, so Joseph’s going to employ another test. He orders his special cup to be put in Benjamin’s sack and since his official to find it and accuse Benjamin of theft. After the cup is found, the brothers appear again before Joseph, and Joseph gives all the brothers an easy way out. All right, He gives him an easy way out. Here’s here’s Joseph’s proposition. Abandoned Benjamin into slavery, like you abandoned me into slavery.

89. 40:44

    And you can go in peace to your father. All right, that’s the test. Do to Benjamin what you did to me. I’m going to create the conditions where you can do to him what you did to me.

90. 40:58

    So turnover Genesis 45 Now when we read this in verse 17, this is now Joseph talking and he said, God forbid that I should do so. The man in whose hand the cop is found. In other words, Benjamin shall be my servant. As for you, get you up in peace to your father. So how would the brothers respond? The proposition now is they have every reason, every excuse, every opportunity to show the new favorite son the same treatment they showed Joseph.

91. 41:48

    And at this point, Judah is going to come near. Come near to the throne. Come near boldly to the throne. We’re told that we can come boldly before the throne because we understand that Jesus is touched with the feelings of our infirmity. And now Judah, on the basis that that Joseph might be understand the infirmity of his Father.

92. 42:14

    And have some. Sympathy for that comes boldly before the throne. Judah will make no defense. He will proffer no blame. He will offer no justification.

93. 42:33

    Now, by that what I mean is, do you know what Judah could have done? He could have said Benjamin didn’t steal the cup. And do you know what’s interesting about that? It would have been true.

94. 42:49

    Why didn’t he make? That defense, it’s true. Ever wanted to defend yourself with the truth? But he doesn’t. He doesn’t defend himself with the truth. All he has is love for his father and a tender heart. In verse 433 of chapter 45, we get to the climax, which we’ve already considered sacrificial love. Genesis chapter 44, no 45 I think. 44 verses 44. Verses 33 and 34 Now therefore, I pray thee, let thy servant abide, instead of the lad a bond man to my Lord, and let the lad go up with his brethren, For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me, lest per. Venture, I see the.

95. 43:51

    Evils I shall come upon my father. This is now evidence that Judah is totally transformed. He’s gone from self-centered to self sacrifice. He’s gone from resentment to love. He’s gone from lies to truth, from running away to taking responsibility and leadership. We can see what has changed.

96. 44:21

    Judah is now able to feel the pain of his father. He has lost sons. He understands. He understands His father’s not trying to hurt him, not trying to take away something from him that his father shared his infirmities. Judah had hurt his father once. He had taken his position of influence to sell his brother.

97. 44:53

    He had lied about it. He had seen the terror and sorrow on his father’s face. He could not see that again. He’s learned from his past. He has taken his responsibility as a leader. He is a loud trial to change him. He is transformed.

98. 45:15

    So I’ll now try to summarize this set of Bible classes. How did Judah? Overcome resentment How did he change from a life based on self importance to 1 based on sacrificial love for others how do we.

99. 45:42

    Judas changed when Tamar showed him grace. And kindness he did not deserve. Judah changed by overcoming his pride and openly acknowledging his sin. Can you imagine how that went? Imagine how Judah how it went when Judah introduced his father to Tamar. Hi, Jacob. This is Tamar. She’s my. It’s a long story, but he would have had to do it, wouldn’t he? Judah changed.

100. 46:28

     We took responsibility for his actions and started to right his wrongs. First he righted his wrongs to Tamar, and then he rejoined his family and the ecclesia.

101. 46:42

     Judah changed when he empathetically started to see the truth about others, that they weren’t demons. They were, perhaps. Just spiritually sick. Jacob wasn’t evil, he was just spiritually sick. Rachel wasn’t evil, she was just spiritually sick. Joseph wasn’t evil, he was just a kid that had dreams.

102. 47:13

     Judah changed when he stopped blaming everyone else for his wrongs without blame. The cycle of self important self justification, self righteousness, self loathing cease to have any fuel. Judah responded to hard issues with truth and honesty. He no longer look for the easy way when others blamed. Judah took responsibility for his family, even at his own cost.

103. 47:49

     Judah changed by showing grace to his father and brother, learning from his past, and paying forward the grace that had been shown to him by Tamar. But what about you?

104. 48:06

     What do you do? How do you change if you have a heart full of resentment when Head knowledge and certainly five classes at the 2023 Rocky Mountain Bible School is never going to be enough, is it? Here’s what was suggested to me. I recommend it to you at night before you go to sleep, get on your knees. I don’t know if you pray on your knees at night. I’ve been taught to do that because even if I’m not feeling humble, something about being on your knees puts you in a physical position to really acknowledge God’s greatness. And you pray for the person that you resent. You pray for what?

105. 49:08

     Maybe you pray for their health, for their prosperity. You pray for their happiness. Even when you don’t really want it, you know, are you going to want those things for them? Of course not. Of course you don’t want it for them. And, and and you pray. Even though your prayer feels like it’s just words, you say, no, I can’t do that. My heart’s not in it.

106. 49:33

     Who cares about your heart? Your heart’s been getting you in trouble. You wouldn’t be in this situation if you said stop listening to your heart a long time ago. You do it anyway. You do it for a month and what will happen after a month is something that is very hard to understand.

107. 49:58

     After a while, when you pray those words, you’ll actually. Want those things? For that person. You realize that they are just scared, just like you, and they’re hurting too, probably, and where you used to feel some bitterness and some resentment and some hatred. You will begin. To feel compassion and understanding and love. So you don’t wait to start feeling love, to show love. And prayer is simply an active, intentional outworking of the command to love your neighbor as yourself. And prayer really is just that.

108. 50:54

     Prayer is an expression. Of love. Now do I know if if? Judah prayed for Jacob, Joseph. No, I’m not sure he did. But I know this, that whatever mistakes Judah had made before, he proceeded to do the opposite. He didn’t lie. He told the truth. He didn’t run away. He faced his problems.

109. 51:25

     He didn’t sleep around. He refrained himself. He didn’t leave the family. He led the family. So what I suggest to you? Is if to? Overcome his resentment. Judah had to do the opposite.

110. 51:44

     Maybe to overcome yours, you have to do the opposite. And maybe if you haven’t been praying for someone because you don’t really feel like you love them, maybe you need to pray for them and love them. You see, we started this study. By looking at this verse, you shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason with your neighbour, lest you bear sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear any grudge. Against the sons of your own.

111. 52:31

     People, but you shall love your neighbour as yourself. I am the Lord. See, to overcome resentment, you got to do the opposite. It’s not that you simply stop bearing a grudge. You need to love.

112. 52:52

     You know what? You can’t wait till you feel like it, because to the extent you have resentment, you don’t have love. And seems to be that the extent you have love, you don’t have resentment.

113. 53:13

     Was there ever going to be any other way? Was there ever going to be any other way than to love? There’s no other way. So in the end, to overcome resentment, we love. And you start with the simplest form of love there is. You start with prayer. It’s not confrontational. I like that.

114. 53:41

     It’s not expensive. I really like that. It does take a lot of time like that again, right? This is working for me this right, right.

115. 53:52

     It’s not complicated. Again, that’s a tick. You know, I can do this If you if you said to me, Ben, I got a solution to your problem, right? You’re saying, oh really? I like solutions. You say you’re going to love it. There’s no confrontation. There’s it’s not expensive, it doesn’t take a lot of time and it’s not complicated.

116. 54:09

     You’re like, lay it on me. Yes, I’d like you to pray for that person you’re really bitter against. Yeah, it’s an expression of love, and love shoves out resentment. And as we close, just reflect one final time on what God has done.

117. 54:43

     God gave Judah the one thing he thought he’d never have. Do you want? God gave him Joseph’s forgiveness and affectionate embrace. So Judah wept. He realized that one more time he’d been saved by grace through grace.

118. 55:15

     May the God of grace restore you to the affectionate embrace of the brother or sister that God has enabled you to forgive.