Ben Brinkerhoff - Overcoming Resentment - Class 4 - Saved by Grace

Automatically transcribed. Accuracy is good but not perfect, and words are sometimes wrong. Trust the audio over the text.

1. 0:00

   This is day four, class number one of the 2023 Rocky Mountain Bible School. Our speaker this morning is Brother Ben Brinkerhoff of the Christ Church North Ecclesia in New Zealand. His topic for the week is Overcoming resentment, and the title today is Judas Saved by Grace. Good morning Rocky Mountain Bible School. Well, I have been asked a couple times is this on by the way, David, I’ve asked a couple times like Ben, you just keep on layering on the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem.

2. 0:40

   When are we going to get to the answer? And hopefully today we start to get into the the answer for resentment. And we’re going to do so through through one of those readings that when you parents, you ever had that that one of those occasions where, you know, you look at the daily readings and and you go, we’re just going to read the second and third portion today, kids, you know, and and maybe chapter 38 Genesis was one of those one of those chapters. So it’s an interesting chapter to look into anyways, because I think it presents itself with some intriguing questions, but also with what Judah needed to go through to to make that next step in his progress and the restoration of his faith and of his conscience.

3. 1:39

   So in our last study, though, we saw Judah just going from from bad to worst. He seems to be trying to find something that’s going to fill that hole in his heart and we just see him turning more and more into different types of of self gratification. So and it’s, it’s like he’s spiraling downwards. We see him grow in hatred and envy. We see him plot to kill his brother. We see him hatch the idea to sell Joseph into slavery. And then he lies about it to his father. And then he leaves the only ecclesia in existence, which was within his father’s house, to live in the world. And then he marries outside the truth in pursuit of lust and wealth to what appears to be a miserable woman. So how’s you going to emerge from the spiraling mess? It seems to be getting worse, not not better. And he’s going to do so through the most unlikely of sources, a Canaanite woman who was more righteous than he. And that is today’s story.

4. 2:56

   SO1 gets the impression as he reads the story that Tamer had really no say in her marriage to ER. Now we turn over to Genesis chapter 38, where we’ll be taking most of our comments for today’s class. And we look then at verse 38, chapter 38, verse 6, where we read and Judah took a wife for ER, his first born, whose name was Tamar. Now in those days, women could be used to tie families together for political purposes.

5. 3:32

   And probably the best example of this is Dinah and Shechem because their marriage or proposed marriage certainly had political implications. In Genesis chapter 34 verses 9 to 10, we read that Shechem’s father says ye shall dwell with us in the land because of this marriage. You can dwell and trade therein and get you possession.

6. 3:56

   So, so their proposed union had political implications, not simply just romantic ones. And also women could be used for a dowry. And again, you think the example of Donna and Shechem. You know, what is it that Shechem said to Jacob? He said to Jacob asked me ever so much dowry and gift. So you can see that that on some level, these marriages of women could could have political implications. It had could have financial implications. And so I just use that and reflect on what’s happening here.

7. 4:29

   And I think it’s highly likely that there was knowledge in the land that Ur was wicked. I don’t think his wickedness would have been something that was hidden under a a Bush, right? I think it was well known that Judas and Ur was was a wicked man. So if if that’s true, then put this together.

8. 4:50

   How how would you like to be married off to an evil man that you don’t love because your father can fetch a high price and wants to make political alliances? You know, I don’t know if we have any young single women in this crowd, right? But I imagine that that that probably wouldn’t make you very happy.

9. 5:10

   Might bother you a bit. So after swallowing that injustice, you you come into Judah’s home that seems to be dominated by his brawling wife and his wicked sons. And you’re there to to make sons so. But in those days, women had really 2 paths to security and livelihood and one was in marriage and secondly was through having sons. And it’s clear how important sons were in the rivalry between Leah and Rachel.

10. 5:53

    So you wonder then about how Tamar saw Judah when she goes into his house. Would she have observed that there was something different about him? That maybe he maybe he wasn’t as comfortable with the sin and cruelty that his sons were? That that he hadn’t totally accepted Canaanite ways? That there was something in Judah that knew right from wrong even he couldn’t bring himself to do right. Like she must have observed something in him. She must have, because she’s going to bet her life on it, that he’s willing to do what’s right if the conditions are presented in the right way.

11. 6:43

    But the record says in verse 7 of chapter 38 that ER, Judas first born, was wicked in the side of the Lord, and the Lord slew him. OK, So what do you think was Tamar’s reaction when ER died? Was it relief? Was it horror? I mean, she was left without a husband and without a son, and that’s a disaster for a woman of her time. And so in verse 8, Judah says to Onan, go into thy brother’s wife and marry her and raise up a seed to thy brother. So Tamar, I think, would have been relieved that Judah had organized for Onan to go in to Tamar and to to marry her and to raise up a seed for her.

12. 7:50

    Now although Tamar might have been relieved, it reads almost like Judah was simply following customary laws in those times. And in fact, a law like this is codified in the law of Moses. And we read about it that in Deuteronomy chapter 25, verses 5 and 6. I’ll put that up on the screen for you. We read there, If brethren dwell together, and one of them die and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger.

13. 8:23

    Her husband’s brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of a husband’s brother unto her. And it shall be that if the first born which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his name be not put out of Israel. So this is a simple concept.

14. 8:47

    If the widow doesn’t have a child, then the brother of the dead husband goes in to produce an heir, and when a male male heir is produced, it is counted as the dead brother and receives the inheritance that the dead brother was due, that the brothers may be not put out of Israel.

15. 9:05

    The problem, of course, is that by doing this, the living brother participates in a process which reduces their inheritance. So there’s a lot of financial implications of this process for Onan. Now before ER died, Onan was due to receive 25% of Jews estate, which and due to the estate I’m only supposing was probably quite considerable. Now when ER dies, Onan now is due to receive about 67% of the estate.

16. 9:46

    Of course, what happens is you take the estate and you divide it up by the number of children and you add one additional portion. So I’m now going to divide to choose the state three ways, one portion for each of his child and the double portion which is due to the first born or to the oldest surviving heir. So in this situation, with her out of the way, Onan is now due to receive 67% of the inheritance. OK, but what happens when Onan marries Tamar and raises up a seed for her?

17. 10:21

    Well, unfortunately in that situation, the little guy gets 50% of the estate and Onan goes back to 25%. How do you think he felt about that?

18. 10:36

    Well, probably didn’t like it very much. Probably inherited a little bit of Judah’s mentality of, of aiming for position and for profit and so, so Onan is, is happy to marry Tamar, but he doesn’t want any children by her. So it’s like this is Onan’s plan. He’s going to wait it out till Judah dies. He’s going to inherit the double portion himself. Then he’s going to dispose of Tamar and marry a younger girl and have sons.

19. 11:18

    So the the whole idea of what happens in this, in Onan’s plan, the implications of all of this, is that Tamar ends up destitute.

20. 11:29

    So the key to Tamar’s whole security was tied up in having a son. How would she feel then when Onan spilled his seed to her? That would be a vicious wrong and even worse, she would be blamed for being barren.

21. 11:56

    So we read in Genesis chapter 38 verse 10. And the thing which he did displease the Lord, wherefore he slew him also. All right, now think of the impact of Tamar when Onan dies. Consider for a moment the suspicious ways of Canaanites. Would they think of Tamar? What would they think of Tamar after her first husband died?

22. 12:25

    Then surely after Tamar marries Onan and then he also dies, and the whole time she can’t seem to get pregnant. Do you think the Canaanites would have cast a suspicious eye on Tamar, thinking perhaps that their gods had cursed her?

23. 12:47

    She would have known that she had done nothing wrong. But would anyone listen worse? What do you think that Judah’s wife thought of Tamar? You know, if Judah died, her security was bound up in her sons. Now two of them have died. You know, You think she would have given Tamar any sympathy? No chance.

24. 13:14

    So Judah sends Tamar back to her father’s house. So we read about that in Genesis chapter 38 and verse 11. Then said Judah, Tamar, his daughter-in-law, remain a widow at thy father’s house till she let my son be grown. For he said, lest peradventure he die also as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in his father’s house.

25. 13:40

    It’s clear, the text reads, that this is this is Tamar’s fault, that the suspicion was that she was doing this. He thought it, his wife thought it, the household would have thought it. She’s being blamed for what’s going on. So she’s in trouble, right? She’s in trouble. She has no husband, plus she has no son. And in those times that equaled no future, do you think for a moment that Tamar’s family wanted her back? What do you think they thinking when Tamar comes back? They, they had created this marriage thinking this marriage would be great for them.

26. 14:26

    They would align to one of the wealthiest and most connected families in the valley, right? That they were going to, they were going to be in close to that family now. And now they’re, Tamar’s being sent back to them. They, they don’t want to be financially responsible for her, right? And she’s being blamed and they know it. And now they’re going to be blamed by implication. They don’t want her back.

27. 14:55

    So now Tamar’s whole host, her entire future depends on Judah keeping his word and giving Sheila to be her husband. And she waited, and she waited, and she waited. So when do you think that that dull, aching fear and suspicion

28. 15:16

    became an inescapable reality? When Judah would not, when he could not do what was right? When did she realize that Judah’s plan was basically to leave her destitute?

29. 15:38

    Last class we talked about resentment and how Judah had built a strong and bitter case against Joseph that practically demanded that Judah get even. And we discussed how Judah had progressed through the five selves of sin, self importance, self justification, self righteousness, self pity and self loathing, and self gratification. And you’ll recall this diagram where we illustrated in the Balance how holding on to hurts in the former resentment was just the fuel that made it OK to sin.

30. 16:24

    OK, Now considering what I’ve said about those things, how do you think that Tamar’s Balance looked about right now? In fact, I, I I couldn’t even fit all of the harms done to her on this little graphic. So so here we are, right? She had been forced to marry her, an evil man.

31. 16:57

    Her husband dies, leaving her no children. She’s dishonored by Onan. She’s blamed for her husband’s deaths. She’s forced to go back to her home where she’s very likely unwelcomed by her family while she waits for a kinsman Redeemer that she is denied from receiving. No, When Judah was faced with his own hurts, he used self justification to balance the scale and sell Joseph into slavery.

32. 17:34

    That was his way of making things right in his own eyes. But we know that it wasn’t right. It was evil. And by contrast, though it’s maybe instructive to look at what rights that Tamar had do to her. So going back to Deuteronomy chapter 25, let’s look at verses 7 through 10 now and see what rights Tamar had available to her, at least according to the Law of Moses. And what it’s going to take that this was a representation of maybe some of the rights she had available to her at that time, even before the Law of Moses.

33. 18:17

    So Deutenonomy chapter 25, verses 7:00 to 10:00. And if the man like not to take his brother’s wife, and that seems to be the situation for Tamar now, they didn’t Sheila or Judah didn’t want to take her then then let his brother’s wife go up to the gate unto the elders and say, My husband’s brother refuses to raise up unto his brother a name in Israel.

34. 18:45

    He will not perform the duty of my husband’s brother. Then the elders of the city shall call him and speak unto him. And if he stand to it and say, I like not to take her, then shall his brother’s wife come unto him in the presence of the elders, and loose his shoe from office foot, and spit in his face, and shall answer and say, So shall it be done unto the man that will not build up his brother’s house. And his name will be called in Israel the House of him that hath his shoe loosed.

35. 19:32

    So to summarize, the law says when a woman is denied a kinsman Redeemer, that that she would spit in the man’s face, the deniers face, and say, so shall be done to the man that will not build up his father’s house, brother’s house, and and have vindication by dishonouring this man publicly in front of the elders. Now that’s what I call getting even right. And it’s very likely that some tradition like this existed in Tamar’s day, which is why Judah gave Onan and why the expectation was that he would give Sheila even if he was scared to do it.

36. 20:13

    So do what? If we would just assume a similar law was available to to Tamar, do you know what would be the best part about it? Do what the best part about that would be for Tamar? Huh. Resentment was legal, right? How good is that? Resentment was illegal. It wouldn’t have been a sin.

37. 20:36

    It wouldn’t have been a sin for Tamar to spit in Judah’s face or Sheila’s face and publicly put him to shame. It was the law. She could shame him. She could vindicate her name. She could clear a path to marry someone. She could make Judah feel as ashamed and as unclean as they made her feel, and she didn’t.

38. 21:11

    Why not? How is it that in the face of so much hurt, Tamar didn’t enforce her legal rights and her ability to get even? I believe the answer is that she was loyal to her husband’s family and further to Judah, her himself. See, Judah was now the head of her house. He was her Lord.

39. 21:39

    She wouldn’t shame him because to shame him by implication was a shame herself and her family. Did Judah spare thought like that when he lied to Jacob, the head of his family?

40. 21:55

    So I just want us to observe for a moment here, just for a moment, that Judah and Tamar are are poles apart. They had both been hurt. They’d both been hurt, but they have reacted to that hurt very differently now. Does anyone know what Tamar’s name means?

41. 22:24

    Palm palm tree, right? And what are the palm trees famous for during in the in the Near East dates? Yeah, right. So, so Tamar’s name is like the date palm and the date palms provide what very sweet fruit under very harsh environment. And I don’t think that Tamar’s name is an accident. So we don’t know how many years passed while she, Tamar was waiting for Sheila.

42. 23:09

    The whole story is compacted into about 22 years. But Judah in the meantime would find himself in a trap that he couldn’t spring. He, and even more so his wife, couldn’t risk giving their last son to Tamar. Yet he couldn’t marry Shila to anyone else because if he married Shila to someone else, that would bring his family into open shame. So.

43. 23:34

    So Tamar just waited and languished and the unlike and unwelcome environment of her family home until two things happened, which I think caused her to take decisive action. And those two things are all hope of Judah doing the right thing was lost. And secondly, the Judah’s wife died. So what Tamar’s looking for is a kinsman Redeemer for a man of her husband’s family to give her a child in place of each of her dead husbands.

44. 24:09

    Now remember, in Tamar’s case, she needed two sons for two dead husbands. It was clear that Judah would not perform his duty knowingly. It was also clear that due to her deep loyalty to her husband’s family that she wouldn’t bring Judah and Sheila into open shame by appealing to the elders at the gate. So her solution is to play the role, is to trick Judah into playing the role of the kinsman Redeemer and then I guess pray by Judah’s God that he would do the right thing. So the record says in Genesis chapter 38, verse 12, in the process of time, the daughter of Shua, Judah’s wife, died and Judah was comforted and went up to his sheep shearers in Timnath, he and his friend Hira the Adalamite. So this, I think, is not going to be Judah’s first time visiting a prostitute.

45. 25:27

    I don’t know that for sure, but if not, how would Tamar be so confident that her plan would work? And further, Tamar would have known that Timnath is the place you go to see a cult prostitute. So Judah was going up to a sheep shearers. And if you’re shearing your sheep, that’s a time where you make wool and you now you have a commodity you can sell. So it’s probably a time of money and prosperity and feasting and concupiscence, I imagine in Canaanite times. And you asked the question, why did Judah seek to be comforted with prostitutes?

46. 26:15

    I suppose we can’t know for sure, but my guess is that he felt like he needed something to fill the emptiness inside, and that he reasoned that he was so far gone anyways, it really didn’t matter. I’ve known brother like that. I’m so far gone, you know, it doesn’t even matter.

47. 26:46

    And so seeing a prostitute was just something else to ease the pain. For a moment, he found himself in an endless loop based on the last two of the five selves of sin, self gratification and self loathing, which can cycle over and over again. You know, you know how it is. You have self gratification, but that leads directly to self loathing. But then you feel so horrible about yourself that you seek out more self gratification.

48. 27:24

    But having done it again, that just leads to more self loathing. Basically the medicine you’re using to make yourself feel better is making you more sick, and that requires yet more medicine.

49. 27:44

    The cycle probably makes more sense using plainer language. You sin, so you feel awful, so you sin, which makes you feel awful, so you sin, and you ask yourself what’s going to break the cycle of self? Now, if, if Tamar had not been on that road, Judah would have slept with some prostitute.

50. 28:15

    So we have to see that even in this sort of situation, God was working. There’s simply too many coincidences and too many things in this plan that could have gone wrong. I mean, if you want to think about it, brothers, sisters, this plan was an outrageous plan. There’s, there’s just no way this plan was going to work. I mean, think about it for a moment, right? So, so step one is Judah’s wife dies and then Judah wants to see a prostitute.

51. 28:49

    And then of everyone he’s attracted to Temar. And then after one meeting together, oh, of course he has no money, right? Conveniently, and he’s willing to surrender an authentic form of ID.

52. 29:14

    Oh, by the way, Tamer gets pregnant because, you know, obviously she hadn’t gotten pregnant so far because I guess it could have been her, right? Oh, and oh, oh, by the way, a child on the line of Christ is born, right?

53. 29:29

    How many places could this plan have gone wrong? You ever, ever seen one of those 1950s? They used to have these, these, these rubes and it was like a machine that had to do a simple task in the most complicated way possible, right? And, and at any point it can go wrong, but we have to recognize that God’s bigger than our sin and can restore us and accomplish his will and that, and that God’s actually working the hardest, not when we’re perfect, but when when we’re less than perfect.

54. 30:09

    I mean, if you think that God can only work with you when you’re not sinning, then I got news for you. God’s not working with you very much, right? Because you’re just not nearly as good as you think you are. No, no, you really, you are good. But, but you know, God’s got to work with us when we’re less than perfect. God’s got to work with us when we make mistakes. You want God to work with you when you’re making mistakes. So Tamar was not a harlot.

55. 30:39

    She was not interested in staying around and sleeping with the next man for money. She was only interested in a kinsman Redeemer. But Judah that day saw Tamar as a harlot. And Tamar asks a pledge of Judah, his seal, his cord, and his staff. Now Judah would have worn a authentic seal or signet on a cord around his neck, and that was his way of, of, of transacting official business. It might have had some letters on it or could have had I, I, I wonder if it had a lion on it.

56. 31:18

    Which is why his father uses a lion as a symbol for him, right? But Needless to say, it was proof of Judah’s authenticity and his identity. And beyond that, she asked for his shepherd’s staff. And the shepherd’s staff would have been specifically decorated for someone like Judah who was wealthy. And so it would be undeniably associated with the owner. And and you have to understand this is a lot to ask, right? It’s a lot to ask.

57. 31:51

    It’s actually unbelievable that he agrees to give up both of these. So Tamar immediately puts on her widow’s clothes and goes back to her father’s house, how they accomplished her purpose. And Judah sends a young goat by higher of the adulimite, but he can’t find Tamar. So notice Judah’s words then in Genesis chapter 28 and 38 and verse 23, he says, let her take it to her lest we be shamed.

58. 32:25

    So apparently walking down the road to Timnath and saying, hey, where’s the prostitute is pretty shameful, right? It’s interesting, right, that it seems like Bill is full of resentment. Like the last thing we want to be ashamed. Like we’re really, we’re trying to avoid shame and embarrassment. But the thing that we seem to need more than anything is is to face that shame and to see the truth.

59. 33:04

    So three months later, the record says, Tamar cannot hide her pregnancy, and she’s had three months to think about Judah’s inevitable reaction. Now, she knew the response would be strong because she would have known Judah and Tamar’s family, already upset, I think, by the fact that she had gone back to live with them. You know, they wouldn’t be protecting her. They’d feel disgraced by her pregnancy apart from marriage. So, and they appear to be ready to, to burn Tamar on Judah’s word.

60. 33:54

    So by contrast, when Judah got this news, he would have been thrilled, right? Because he finally had a way out. He had a way to get rid of Tamar, marry off his son, and not lose face to him. He would he would have been he would have been absolutely thrilled to get this news. He probably had trouble controlling his joy. It was a blessed anybody thought finally God’s blessing me right. Finally, finally I get a break.

61. 34:27

    Of course he was going to order her to die. You know how long till he was making plans about who he was going to marry Sheila off to, right?

62. 34:40

    So Tamar correctly anticipates Judah’s likely reaction. And her next action, perhaps more than any other, reveals the heart of this woman. Before she died, she insisted that word was brought to Judah and she hands over the seal, the court and the staff with this message found in Genesis chapter 38 and verse 25. We read there by the man who these are am I with child? And she said, discern, I pray thee, who these are the signet, the bracelet and the staff.

63. 35:37

    So let’s think about this for a moment. Brothers and sisters, you’re ready to kind of kind of consider some of these facts. Tamar is about to die by burning. She has an unborn child or actually children depending on her.

64. 36:00

    She is pregnant by Judah. He is the one visiting harlots, not her. She is only in this position because Judah has not provided her a kinsman Redeemer. OK, now what would you do? Wouldn’t you scream? Wouldn’t you tell everyone around you that Judah was the Father? Wouldn’t you do it to save your life? What’d you do to save the life of your child? Yet Tamar sends the messenger who asks, Discern, I pray thee, who these are.

65. 36:48

    What do you see it? Do you see it around the sisters? She would not shame Judah. She would not put the head of her house to open shame.

66. 37:13

    Upon receiving this message, Judo would be face to face with a reality. Tamar was a woman who was taken. Taken from her family, forced to marry a wicked man, dishonored by another husband, accused of causing death that she did not ’cause forsaken and forgotten by the one who had the legal duty to help her. Left to a family who very likely didn’t want her back, who had not taken her legal right to shame him and spit in his face, who Heed is ordered to death for the indiscretion of carrying his child.

67. 37:58

    Upon receiving back his cord, his seal, and his staff, and faced with the discretion of Tamar’s question, Judah found himself face to face with something he could not comprehend, something that he could not fit on his balance of hurt and sin. It was Grace comprehending this words escaped Judas lips that would change him forever.

68. 38:50

    She hath been more righteous than I. In other words, you ready for this? I am wrong. Tamar had just obliterated the balance of childlike thinking. She had acted with grace.

69. 39:29

    It’s funny, we spend so much of our lives looking for and finding false atonement in the wrongs of others. We reasoned that the hurts done to us provide some sort of covering for our sin and knowing this about us. God chose to provide us, brothers and sisters, a different type of atonement, a better covering, not based on sin. God’s atonement isn’t based on sin. God’s atonement is based on righteousness. And he calls that system of atonement grace. And it’s fundamental premise of grace is that you don’t deserve it.

70. 40:33

    It is not even. It is not fair. It is not fair, is it? It is not even, is it? It is a gift. And on that basis, by design, it will never, ever, ever conform to the balance of childlike reasoning. Instead, as we grow to understand the enormity of it, it should displace that balance.

71. 41:14

    It should displace fleshly thinking with spiritual thinking. What are brothers and sisters? What are the five selves of sin? Self importance, self justification, self righteousness, self pity, self gratification. The object of each one of those is really just the same. It’s to protect ourselves.

72. 41:50

    And Tamar had just protected Judah. And maybe now, just now, Judah realize that’s spending the last 39 years since Joseph’s birth protecting himself had been the thing that had gotten him in so much trouble.

73. 42:19

    Have you ever done something that you thought to yourself that if I could get caught, that’d be the worst thing that could happen? When in reality, when you look back, getting caught was the best thing that happened?

74. 42:40

    I have, you know, via this confession, she is more righteous than I. Judah’s own sin was now open to public scrutiny. It is this openness and honesty, in contrast to denial and brain blame that helps bring about the crucial change in attitude. But that change of attitude, that humility, You know, if the problem starts with self importance, guess what? The answer begins with humility.

75. 43:23

    So says James in James chapter 4. Humble yourself. Draw near. But but this change of attitude is only useful insofar as something else important happens. And that’s making things right. Now look back to this balance of childlike reasoning. Now imagine for a moment, brothers, sisters, just imagine that you said, you know what?

76. 43:50

    Holding on to those hurts. That’s a bad idea I should really forgive. And you think to yourself, that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to forgive. So what I’m going to do is I’m going to forgive all my hurts. I’m just going to move on. But for most of us, that’s nearly impossible to do. And Judah’s story gives us a hint to why. See, the problem with forgiving others their hurts, is that what’s left to balance out the sins that you still haven’t repented of.

77. 44:31

    I wonder if even subconsciously we have trouble forgiving because we need we need these to cover this. How can you forgive the hurts when you need the hurts?

78. 44:51

    Because there’s a sin you haven’t repented of, but it’s OK because you’ve been hurt and so you need that hurt, so you nurse it and you cherish it and you love it and you know that you can forgive but you can’t. Why?

79. 45:19

    Because you got this. And you’ve been atoning for this for years with the wrong thing. Fortunately, now to the set of circumstances he was under Judah’s pride was sufficiently deflated for Judah to start putting things right. What are some of the things he started to put right?

80. 45:53

    Well, before we start about that, you know the solution for resentment. I wrote this down because I didn’t want to forget how to say it. The solution for resentment is often not found firstly in forgiveness. It’s found first in putting right the sins. We have justified using resentment, typically in response to God’s love and grace. Once we do that, forgiveness is often the natural result. So Judah had to seem some things he had to put right. For example, he had to protect Tamar for any further harm he had.

81. 46:46

    He had to openly acknowledge the secrets that Tamar had chosen to reveal discreetly. He had to join back with the ecclesia, and he had to agree to know Tamar no more and think about how amazing God is, because she needed two sons for two dead husbands, and so God gave her twins.

82. 47:18

    So what does the balance look like when we make right, as best as we’re able, our sins? We’re out of balance this time. But in this instance, we don’t fall into self pity. Now we take the courageous step to forgive our hurts.

83. 47:43

    And why do we forgive? We forgive because we no longer need hurt and blame to justify or rationalize our sinful response. So what’s the process that Judah appears to go down thanks to Tamar? Well, I think the first thing that happens to Judah is that he receives grace. The second thing happens is he makes a confession. The third thing that happens is he makes amends for his mistakes.

84. 48:31

    Tamar was now welcome permanently in his household. She would no longer be the subject of any shame. She would no longer have any question of her security.

85. 48:48

    Then he forgives the hurt, and then he begins to live unselfishly. I think this is how it works with us, brothers and sisters. You see, we are first the recipient of grace and then touched by the enormity of that

86. 49:19

    of our forgiven sin, then we forgive others that. That’s the order. Ephesians 4 verse 32 says be kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. That’s the order. So how long, brother and sisters, until Judah moves back home and leaves Canaanite life? Given our time frames, I don’t think long at all.

87. 50:04

    I actually think Tamar comes into his home. He packs up from a Dome. He says see you later to to hire A and he goes straight back because, you know, there was a famine in the land and he heard that his father and his brothers weren’t doing very well. How could he face them again?

88. 50:30

    See, there’s still one sin that Judah couldn’t make right, Wasn’t there? The one that had caused him the most pain for the last 22 years, The one that he thought he was powerless to do anything about, and the one that God would now begin the process of intervening to make him whole.