Ben Brinkerhoff - Overcoming Resentment - Class 3 - Runs Away

Automatically transcribed. Accuracy is good but not perfect, and words are sometimes wrong. Trust the audio over the text.

1. 0:00

   This is day three of the Rocky Mountain Bible School. Our first period teacher is Brother Ben Breakerhoff. His topic is overcoming resentment. His title today for today’s class is Judah Runs Away. Brother Ben, I almost took your notes. Thank you. Brother James, Good morning. Rocky Mountain Bible School. All right, that’s the force I need to give you energy. So you give me energy because I am lacking energy right now. So that is that’s that’s the little agreement we’re going to have for each other.

2. 0:45

   OK. And when I’m a teen class, when I see them not paying attention, I just get to ask them questions and make them read verses. So first row. Be careful, Bonnie got my eye on you.

3. 1:05

   So does Bonnie. OK, so in our last study we considered Judah as the resentment built up within him. This eventually led him of stripping the dreamer of his coat and casting him into a pit and selling him into slavery. And if I did my job, what I hope I was able to illustrate to you yesterday is that Judah’s solution to his resentment was no solution at all, because it didn’t really solve any of Judah’s real problems. It didn’t provide him love from his father, did it? It didn’t give Leah any vindication. I don’t think it really calmed the storm blowing up in his mind instead as he clutched his lonesome 2 silver coins on that long, torturous walk back to Hebron. I believe in unrelenting conscience would have drained any last remnant he might have had of calm or peace. I don’t know what resentments you are dealing with right now or how someone may have wronged you. I’m sure that some of you have felt very wronged and treated very poorly, and some of you who are feeling that way have not yet responded, have not acted on the solutions that have been swinging around in your head.

4. 3:04

   And that may feel very hard, but you’ve done the right thing. It doesn’t feel like the right thing, does it? No, it feels like this person should be told how wrong they’ve treated me and I should react this way and, and, and let them know and, and, and protest and, and yet you haven’t acted on those things sometimes. And that doesn’t feel like the right thing to do. But think about the solutions that people with resentment act on and they heat problems upon problems. And that’s what we’re going to look at today. You know, Scripture gives us a hint by the way of of just how painful it was when Judah got back and saw his father like that.

5. 4:04

   That memory was so painful. That look on his father’s faith was was so painful that it was burned into Judah’s memory. We get some indication of that because, and this is a verse we’ll revisit a couple times, but in in Genesis chapter 44, verse 33 to 34, we read now, therefore, I pray thee this is this is now Judah talking to Joseph, not knowing it’s Joseph now. Therefore, I pray thee, let thy servant abide instead of the lad, a bondsman to my Lord, and let the lad go up with his brethren.

6. 4:42

   For how shall I go up to my father? And the lad be not with me, lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come upon my father. It’s almost as if he’s saying, I can’t see that again. I saw that once, I cannot see that again. And does that give us some indication of what it was like for Judah to face his father?

7. 5:11

   Now, perhaps all the brethren felt this way, but it was only Judah that verbalized it and was willing to act on it. So Judah’s solution to his resentment problem was not a solution. Your solution to your resentment problem, I dare say, may not really be a solution.

8. 5:35

   It didn’t give him any lasting satisfaction. There’s no peace in his heart after his sin, but Judah’s not alone in Scripture in feeling resentment and and having a catastrophic response to his resentment, making it worse. Scripture abounds with examples. I felt like the reading day with Samson. No, I’m going to do this because they did this, and I’m going to do this because they did this.

9. 6:08

   And you know, maybe there’s obviously God working things out in that story, right? God definitely works through sin or else, you know, what would he be doing with any of us, right?

10. 6:20

    But yet, think about all the examples in Scripture where someone’s response or to or their solution to the resentment problem was no solution. Look at what Cain’s solution was to his resentment problem. How about King Saul’s solution to his resentment problem? How about Absalom’s solution to resenting Amnon? How about Haman, his solution to resenting Mordehai? You know, And even in parable, how about the the wicked husbandman’s solution to resenting the vineyard owner? Or how about Judas Iscariot’s solution to resenting Christ? It seems to be that the typical path of resentment is self justified sin, and the result of self justified sin is misery. And I want us to be able to see that process clearly, to see where it leads, and to know how to bear it. In fact, I even started a little bit of a collection of words that are a little bit similar or a lot similar to resentment so I can find them in the Bible now.

11. 7:50

    Who knows. Another Bible word for resentment. Any any suggestions? What’s this hate? Yep, jealousy. Jealousy is a good one. Indignation, malice, covetousness, bitterness. OK, I think you got most of the ones I thought of. So resentment words. How about Haman? Haman was this is a good one. This one was mentioned. He was moved with indignation, right? That’s so when you read move to the indignation. If that is too that language is a little bit too far fetched for you.

12. 8:31

    Resentment. OK, how about Esau? This is a good one. Who knows this one Esau let know root of bitterness. How about Cain? He was very wroth and countenance was fallen saw he had an evil spirit and Ahab he was heavy and displeased the Sanhedrin. They were cut to the heart.

13. 9:17

    Now I know that that that there’s a wide variety of feelings and I’m just using one small term to summarize what is what is a spectrum of ideas. But, but what I’m saying is that you can find these ideas in this scenario playing out all over Scripture. Now, sometimes resentment is characterized by what it does rather than what it is.

14. 9:42

    For example, murmuring. A good example is, you know, the parable where, where the, the landowner got some servants and, and gave them a, a penny and then he came back and got more servants. They gave them penny and then they got more servants and, and, and every time the servants had to work a little bit less time until finally the last group, they worked maybe half an hour, an hour at most.

15. 10:06

    And they got a penny as well. And the first servant said they thought they would receive more. And when they when they didn’t, what do they do? Right? They murmured. Well, they were resentful, right, You know, but they were murmuring. So it’s more what it did, what they what it does than what it is. First, excuse me, Ephesians chapter 4 verse 31 says this. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor. So those are all words that describe resentment. Be put away from you with all malice. And I think it was brother Nick who mentioned malice. So resentment is the bitterness, wrath and anger and the self justified sin is slander and malice. So a little bit cause and effect there in that verse. And thinking back to the opening verse of our study, which was Leviticus chapter 19 and verse 18, we’re told not to hold a grudge against our brother.

16. 11:17

    And, and I was saying, what’s that word grudge, you know, and that’s that It’s a Hebrew word, nattar. Now, David, let me know if I got this right. But I think it means in its root, it means to guard or keep or reserve. So, so when the Bible wants to describe a grudge, it describes you keeping something, you guarding something. Well, what are you guarding?

17. 11:47

    You’re guarding your feelings, right, aren’t you? You’re, you’re going to take this memory and you’re going to hold on to it, and you’re going to guard it and you’re going to nurse it. Why are you going to do that? So that no one hurts you again. That’s why no one’s going to hurt me this way. Again.

18. 12:08

    I’m going to hold on to this because I think it’s going to protect me, but it doesn’t. But you’re not holding on to it because you want to be hurt more. You hold on here because you want to be hurt less.

19. 12:27

    And then you get hurt more, and you hurt other people more. So imagine Judah feeling all these feelings that that these words try to describe. He’s bitter, he’s heavy, his countenance has fallen. He’s moved with indignation.

20. 12:52

    Although Judah may have slimmed sinned by slandering his brother or perhaps shunning his brother up to the point of selling him, Judah would have felt that he still hadn’t gotten even like that. He had been hurt more than he had hurt Joseph in response. And I illustrate that with an imbalanced scale of childlike reasoning.

21. 13:22

    You know, yeah, I I’ve had some sins, but you know what? I’ve been hurt worse than I’ve sinned back. And and I’m just going to kind of use a word to describe this. Listen, I’m not a psychologist. I don’t, I don’t know the official definition of words. What I know is how I feel.

22. 13:40

    And I try to put words to that. And so maybe that is helpful, but if, if you, if you have some technical understanding or gone through these things and you can might have a different way of labeling things and that’s OK, I’m happy with that. But but, but how would I describe someone who’s stuck in that spot? I call that self pity.

23. 14:06

    And self pity is a state where to your reckoning, your hurts perpetually outweigh your sins. And into this frustrated scenario come self pity’s best friend. And self pity’s best friend is resentment fueled fantasy. You see, if you can’t actually get even, it feels almost as good to fantasize about getting even. So as we discussed yesterday, Judah would fantasize about hurting Joseph. And each time he fantasized about hurting Joseph, he’d feel better, like if he carried through with it, that finally this would be even I wouldn’t hurt Joseph more than I’ve been hurt.

24. 14:54

    But I’m just going to even things out. And so, you know, I illustrate that this way. And this is a fantasy, right? Because in the in the fantasy, what’s the scale look like? It looks even, right? That is the fantasy. So getting even or in this fantasy, you know, at first the fantasy would have maybe even seemed a bit dangerous. I couldn’t do such a thing.

25. 15:22

    But after a while, if you indulge that fantasy and you let it dance around in your head that, that somehow you, you get the idea that yes, if I’d actually carried through with this and even things up somehow it doesn’t seem as dangerous. The 2nd, 3rd, 4th time that you, that you consider it you, you recreate that, that feeling that that that dopamine feeling inside of you, it doesn’t seem so outrageous anymore.

26. 15:50

    And and so fantasy really is the means to get even in your mind without yet taking the actions. But then, but then here’s a problem. The problem is when you carry through with it and you put the ID into action. And I, I can only imagine that, that you can even right now, if you wanted to put your finger on something that you haven’t done, that you’ve fantasized about doing because someone in the meeting hurt you. And by the way, if no one in the meeting has hurt you yet, well, I don’t know.

27. 16:30

    Where’s the kindergarten class, right? Maybe. Maybe that’s the case for them, right? But it will happen because because we’re we’re humans and we’re still working on this being perfect thing. So it’s going to happen And and and maybe you’ve had an idea of how you’re going to get even you haven’t me carried it out, but you’ve had the idea.

28. 16:54

    But what if you do what what if you actually do carry it out? Then suddenly that fantasy S, you know, it kind of transforms a little bit into a really big S Now, now there’s a problem. See, now Judah’s balance has shifted the other direction. And in retrospect, try as he might, Judah just couldn’t find any way of rationalizing selling Joseph into slavery.

29. 17:32

    So, so now Judah’s created the conditions of self loathing. Now what’s self loathing? Self loathing is a state where, to your reckoning, your sins perpetually outweigh your hurts.

30. 17:52

    In retrospect, Judah knew that that no hurt he had suffered made it right to sell Joseph. His balance was permanently lopsided, the wrong direction. So I just want to summarize

31. 18:11

    according to the balance of childlike reasoning. You know, self pity is a state where your hurts perpetually outweigh your sins. You feel sorry for yourself, you cannot forgive others. And self loathing is a state where your sins perpetually outweigh your hurts. You hate and cannot forgive yourself.

32. 18:44

    And it’s possible to feel both of these at the same time because it seems like we have one of these scales for every single one of our relationships. One relationship I might be in self pity mode, Another relationship I might be in self loathing mode. And I don’t know if you think about your hurts or your responses to your hurts where you are. Are you in a position where you can’t forgive others or you can’t forgive yourself?

33. 19:15

    Are you in a position where your hurts outweigh your sins or your sins outweigh your hurts? But can you see there’s no peace on either side of this scale? There’s no peace in childlike reasoning. The fantasy that you’re going to even things out is a fantasy. So what happens, whether in self pity or self loathing, is that you rot inside with a permanently unbalanced scale. That is ultimately the inward outcome. Of the cycle that starts with self importance, comparison and childlike reasoning.

34. 20:20

    And it’s at this point especially I think that self gratification comes into its own. You might remember from the first class I talked about the five selves of sin. And as we can see, it’s self importance leading to self justification, leading to self righteousness, leading to self pity and self loathing leading to self gratification. Because for those with even an immature conscience, something inside of us knows that all this balancing, all this selfishness doesn’t square.

35. 20:59

    We feel awful. Maybe we should feel awful because we’re we’re we’re weighed down by our sins. Is the mic on the wireless. We’re weighed down by our sins and we’re carrying our sins around and we’re carrying other people’s sins around. Well, how long till that feels pretty heavy? And, and, and if you’re and you’re and you’re carrying all the all this weight and, and you’re feeling heavy, you’re going to seek for something, anything to make you feel better.

36. 21:37

    That could be food or alcohol or entertainment or music or narcotics or money or promiscuity or buying things or gambling or relationships. I don’t know what it does what what what does it for you. I don’t know what avenues self gratification has available to you to distract you from the big pile of sins and resentments we’ve got going on.

37. 22:13

    But the pattern caused by self important self justification, self righteousness and self loathing, you have to admit it leaves a gaping hole within us. It’s an emptiness, it’s a restlessness, it’s an itch which we feel like it must be scratched. We’re not comfortable, and we desperately want to be comfortable. So we seek something. We seek anything, anything that can provide ease and comfort, that can calm the storm, that can provide a moment’s peace. And in our search, we move past self loathing to self gratification.

38. 22:56

    And self gratification is simply the pattern of trying to find something to fill the emptiness, something to lighten the load. And the dangerous thing, brothers and sisters, do you know the really dangerous thing is when you find something that you think works because you become dependent on it, whether that’s a substance, whether that’s a person, whether that’s an activity. So feeling horrible and empty, I think Judah is trying to find something else to fill the hole, but everything he tries just ends up making him feel more horrible, which leads him back to more self gratification.

39. 23:49

    It’s easy to see how self gratification, when it’s the outcome of the five selves of sin, can easily lead to dependence and addiction. Although we can perhaps see that the medicine is making us sick because we feel sick, we keep on giving ourselves medicine. I mentioned that horrible cycle because look at what was going on in Judah’s life.

40. 24:13

    You know, we see him growing in in hatred and envy. We see him plotting to kill his brother. We see him selling his brother into slavery. We see him lying about it to his father. We see him leave his father’s house and then leave the truth to go into the world. Then we see him marry what appears to be a miserable woman, Right.

41. 24:37

    And, and every time and every one of those scenarios, what would you would have said? I’m just trying to make myself feel better. I’m not trying to ruin my future. I’m not trying to, you know, to, to, to mess things up for everybody. I’m just trying to feel OK. Every single one of those incidents would have felt like it was a solution.

42. 25:13

    So let’s look at his next solution that turns out to be no solution. You find this in in Genesis chapter 38. Turn there please. I think in all my class today, I think we’re considering 2 verses, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe 3, right? This is what happens when you have a study that comprises a force of four classes and you stretch it to five.

43. 25:38

    So bear with me, but hey, these are two of those verses. Genesis chapter 38 and verses 1 and 2. And it came to pass at that time that Judah went down from his brethren and turned into a certain Adelemite, whose name was Hira. And Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite, whose name was Shua, And he took her and went in unto her. It came to pass at that time.

44. 26:17

    So how long do you think it was that Judah, with some semblance of a conscience, could stand to live at home? How long could he? Could he watch his father mourn? How long could he watch his father? Maybe he was not showering. Maybe dust was on his head. Maybe he was wearing mourning clothes, sackcloth.

45. 26:43

    How long could he see his father blame himself for sending Joseph alone to Shechem? How long could he bear with the hypocrisy and the lies? How was long was he to to to bear with this burning sense of aching that would have been in his chest as he looked at his father? And so, about that time, he ran away from the pain.

46. 27:12

    He left the truth as it were. That was the only ecclesia at the time. And I and I reflect like, why, why do people leave the truth? And sometimes we may, I think, mistakenly say that they, they leave the truth because they stop having faith in God. But sometimes it’s, they stop having faith in themselves. I, I think sometimes it’s that they lose hope. You see, if you’ve lost hope, not that you’ve maybe lost faith, but if you’ve lost hope, why stick around and be tortured by what you’ll never attain?

47. 27:53

    And you see other people celebrating? That’s just torture. All you happy people. Yeah. Yeah. You have a hope. I don’t have a hope. And I can’t stand to watch you have one, so I’m going to run away. So of course he saw a beautiful Canaanite woman and he took her. Do you think you loved her?

48. 28:28

    Did it matter? It was a self gratification in another form, something that that made him forget his troubles for a few moments. Did it did it matter that, you know, that his brothers had murdered Shechem, his father and the, the, the the men of the city? Because he was a Canaanite and he married his sister Dinah.

49. 28:52

    I mean, he was convinced at the time that that was horrible to marry a Canaanite. But, you know, now it was different. Everything was different. Have you ever run away like Judah? Have you ever sinned so badly and so often that you couldn’t make it right even on the basis of your own judgement?

50. 29:17

    Or have you seen when your your kids do this, they’ve run away? Or ever fallen into self loathing? Ever found yourself making selfish bad decision after selfish bad decision, desperately trying to feel better, trying, trying to make things right, and seeing that everything around you is just getting worse and worse? But Judah is actually not at the bottom here.

51. 29:50

    There’s still more pain to come. There’s still like 22 more years of pain to come here. I mean, look at the appeal of running away. What? What happens when you run away? Well, you go where no one knows you. No one knows Joseph. No one knows what he did. No one reminds you of your past.

52. 30:09

    You can reinvent yourself on new terms. You can shut the door in the past. Does anyone know how intoxicating of a prospect that is compared to wallowing and guilt and self loathing? So we see Judah do something now he’s going to do for the next 22 years. He’s going to take the easy Rd.

53. 30:28

    He’s going to go down to a dullum which is about 15 or 20 miles northwest of Hebron. That means it was easy. Easily a day’s journey from his father. I mean, I’m, I live a day’s journey from my father, right? You know you had to go. You have to go farther now than you did then, right? But it’s far enough now.

54. 30:53

    What’s the most do you want? This is one of Scriptures little irony as my dad’s reminding about undesigned scriptural coincidences. What is the most prominent feature of a dullum in the Bible?

55. 31:08

    A cave. Where? What? What do you do in a cave? You hide. So where’s Judah go? Oh, it just happens to go to Adalum. Where what? Where you can hide, right?

56. 31:26

    And it’s obviously in First Samuel 22 is where David goes to hide. Now Adalum could not have been a great place to visit concerning the things of the truth. It was destroyed by Joshua. Justinius calls it a royal city of the Canaanites. Now, what does a dalam mean? Well, Strong says that a dalam means justice of the people.

57. 31:54

    Now, now, isn’t that what we run to, right? We run away from God’s righteousness and we run straight to the justice of the people. And actually, a few of these words right there in in the start of chapter 38 give us some indication of what’s going on, because there’s a story behind the story.

58. 32:14

    Because he, he befriends Hira. Now Hira’s name means nobility and he marries the daughter of Shua. Now Shua means rich or opulence. So what is Judah doing? What’s the thing that Judah always wanted?

59. 32:36

    Oh, he wanted to be the one that his brothers would bow down to, that dreamer. Well, what else did he want? He obviously was motivated by money. Wouldn’t. So how did he came up with the idea of selling Joseph for a profit, Right. So what two things are he struggling with? You’re not going to be the leader and I’m going to make some money. So what does he do when he goes to Dulham? He’s like, well, you know what?

60. 33:05

    I’m going to double down on that. If I can’t get it this way in the ecclesia, not treating me right there, I’m going to get it in the world. I’m going to get with the thing I think I want. I’m going to get rich, powerful friends. I’m going to get position. I’m going to get status.

61. 33:27

    I’m going to pursue the things I’m desperately wanting because why? Because I think they’re going to make me happy. Ever pursued the thing you thought was going to make you happy outside of the meeting?

62. 33:48

    Did it make you happy? Are you still figuring that out right now? That’s what he’s going towards. He’s running towards profit and position. His desires are still the same. Can’t get into the meeting. I’ll get it outside the meeting and notice how the text moves really quickly. In this section it says that Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua. He took her and went in unto her. Now, how long do you think that little sequence took? Right, He took, he went in.

63. 34:29

    You know, there doesn’t really appear to be a careful examination of the woman’s moral qualities. Maybe there was no more examination of inequalities other than her physical features and that her father was very wealthy. It seems like she was easily had. It’s interesting to note how how similar this sequence is to the incident of Shechem and Dinah

64. 35:00

    where it says there in Genesis 34 verse 2, when Shechem, the son of Hamor, the highlight Prince of the country saw her, he took her and lay with her and defiled her. So like, what is it about resentment that makes you repeat the sins of the past right now, what was what was Judah’s response to the incident of Dinah?

65. 35:31

    Right. Well, as a response to that was the sons of Jacob came out of the field when they heard it and they were grieved and were very rough.

66. 35:42

    But why did Judah think that that his version of seeing, taking and laying with is different than Shechem’s version of seeing, taking and laying with? But of course, you know, Judah’s really was getting good, I think, at this blame and self rationalization game.

67. 36:03

    Do you know what Judah’s cry would have been? Ever talk to someone who’s made a mistake and you point out that it’s very much like this other thing and and and what is what’s the response You often will get? Well, it’s going to be some version of my case is different. My case is different.

68. 36:32

    One of the symptoms of resentment is you do the things you judge others for doing. And that seems to be God’s way of teaching us that our case isn’t different, our circumstances are different, but our actions when looked from a view like God’s or what that Scripture provides are very much the same. So what was the daughter of Shua for Judah? And I, I call her Bat Shua or Bath Shua because Bat means daughter in Hebrew.

69. 37:09

    So I have to give her a name. So that’s my name for her. I think for a brief period of time, she was the answer. She helped Judah forget his father and his brother. And that would have been a marvelous relief. And I think she’s probably good looking and she was rich. So, you know, that didn’t hurt either.

70. 37:34

    It seems like when we run away, we always find the girl or boy who, who understands who who sympathetically agrees with us that our position is justified, who thinks that that we’re right, who doesn’t really judge us. Be like all those Christadelphians. They’re judgmental, you know, boy, judgmental Christadelphians, you know, but but the the girl or the boy from the world, they don’t judge us because they don’t have any real care for what God’s righteousness is anyway.

71. 38:13

    The the daughter of Shua about Shua was not a God centered person. So right and wrong in her mind had really nothing to do with with God. And as a result she was going to be pretty quick to see right where it suited her. You know, in sympathizing with Judah at this point in time. It really suited her.

72. 38:36

    It was good for her. But what happens when you marry a girl or boy like that, The sympathetic one that seems to wholeheartedly agree with your version of the story?

73. 38:52

    Well, you find to your amazement that she wasn’t really supporting your twisted version of right or wrong for your sake. She was doing it because it suited her purposes. And when what’s good for her no longer aligns with what’s good for you, the sympathy evaporates.

74. 39:23

    See, there’s not integrity. There’s not the commands of the Lord that we keep coming back to that that frame and and help guide decisions, having and being a a moral rock in our decisions and our relationships. See, there’s only interpretation. So should Judah have been surprised if the understanding girl from the world suddenly stop being so understanding when the circumstances didn’t suit her? Now?

75. 39:58

    I only bring this up because I wonder how long was it before Bathshewa before Judah recognized that Bathshewa? Was perhaps the worst mother in the world. I mean, we know that that Judah had some qualities that God is going to use and and redeem within him. But look at the sons this woman raised.

76. 40:29

    One can only guess that they were raised not according to the customs of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, but according to the customs of the Canaanites. And compared to Canaanites, they were wicked. I mean, how bad you have to be really for God to strike you dead, right? And what are what are the two precedents that that Judah would be able to reflect on of God basically ordering some someone or someone’s death, the flood, right.

77. 41:03

    And and in the flood, what’s the what’s the, the the phrase in Genesis 6, verse 5 is that every inclination of the thoughts of their hearts were only wicked continually, right. And what’s the other example outside of the flood? Sodom and Gomorrah, right? Absolutely woman, mysterious woman sitting next to Renee. Hello, Sodom and Gomorrah, where they were wicked and sinners before the Lord exceedingly.

78. 41:34

    So we have two examples, people who are wicked exceedingly and people who are wicked continuously. Those are, those are Judah’s two precedents here. So one gets the idea that that ER was exceedingly and continuously wicked, wicked. So. So you get the idea. He’s not a casual Sinner. So where’s Judah? Where’s Judah when ER and Onan are growing up? Where’s the father that still had a conscience? See, Judah knew right from wrong. Absolutely he did.

79. 42:15

    He knew right from wrong. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. I can tell you where I think he was while his sons are being raised in Canaanite fashion. I think he probably ran away again, but this time to the flocks, like Jacob did. See what happens when the marriage isn’t working out? What do you do?

80. 42:39

    You got to you got to eat your fulfillment somewhere. Well, you throw yourself into your career. That’s what you do, right? So he’s out. I think he’s watching the flocks anywhere. I’d like to be home with that brawling woman and her sons. He probably found that trying to raise his sons after the customs of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob while living in a Canaanite city amongst Canaanites married to a Canaanite was a tad harder than he thought it’d be. So how long was it until Judas saw that his answer, Bathshewa, was maybe the worst mistake he’d ever made. And now he’s stuck.

81. 43:31

    Now he’s added misery on top of misery, problems on top of problems. The beautiful Bathsheba had perhaps revealed a true ugliness. And are we surprised when we pursue beauty, money and power, how that doesn’t really turn out for us?

82. 44:01

    It’s not nearly as satisfying as we hoped. So I think there’s a proverb that summarizes Jacob at this time, Proverbs 27, verse 15. A foolish child, uh, is a father’s ruin and a quarrelsome wife. Bathsheba is like a constant dripping of a leaky roof.

83. 44:29

    And it was brothers and sisters into this chaos that Judah brought Tamar, and it’s her part of the story that we’ll take up tomorrow.