Ben Brinkerhoff - Class 1: False Atonement

Automatically transcribed. Accuracy is good but not perfect, and words are sometimes wrong. Trust the audio over the text.

1. 0:00

   Hi, by the way. Uncle Ben, Brother Ben, whatever you want, call me here. It's funny, I was thinking to myself, 25 years ago, I was there. My first time ever in this room, right? And I was probably in this room without any break for the next 10 consecutive years, right? I've sat exactly where you're sitting, and I've listened to guys like me get up here and try to tell me something, you know? I was more distracted by other things, mostly, unfortunately. Hopefully, you're a little bit better this week.

2. 0:37

   And so, I was thinking to myself, you know, gee, 25 years ago, you know, has anything changed, right? I'm sure it's the same stuff, isn't it? Same stuff I was thinking about then, that you're probably thinking about now. And I would have heard 30 different Bible school speakers come up here and to give me talks, and I got, I still have markings in my Bible, you know, from things that they said, and trying to learn the truth from them.

3. 1:07

   And I was thinking to myself, guys, well, what, if I actually sit down, let's just say I was sitting here, you know? I was sitting right here next to Elise, hello, right, and Keaton. I was thinking, okay, I'm here, and I'm listening to some guy up there, right? What do I want him to tell me about?

4. 1:33

   You know, what did I really, what were the questions that I probably even couldn't articulate at the time? Oh, I'm scaring you a little bit, aren't I? Yeah, yeah, you're a little, you're giving me one of those looks, right? What are the questions, right, that I really wanted to know when I was sitting there that I didn't know at the time, you know, and that no one was really explaining to me and that I was struggling with.

5. 2:00

   Again, I probably couldn't have articulated it if I had tried to. I probably couldn't have given you the exact words of the things I wanted to know about, but there's these questions within my heart that I was wanting to know about, and I thought to myself, well, why don't I just, why don't I just talk about those things this week?

6. 2:18

   And I'll wrap them all together with a title like Reconciliation because it's broad enough where I can fit a lot of just different things into it, but it's narrow enough to kind of speak specifically to what I want to talk about. So I'm just going to mention some of the things that this week I hope that we learn about together, okay?

7. 2:42

   Why do I have so many broken relationships, okay? Now, probably at your age, you may not have a lot of broken relationships, but your parents do, your aunts and uncles do, and you see broken relationships in the ecclesia, right? And you're wondering, what is that all about, right? Why are there so many broken relationships?

8. 3:04

   What is the big deal about sin anyways? Why is sin such a big deal in the Bible? Why is sin such a big deal in the Bible? Why is sin such a big deal in the Bible? Here's one I really questioned. How could Jesus' death be just? He never sinned. He never did anything wrong.

9. 3:24

   How could it be just or right that he died? I didn't understand that at all. How could God be just to require that Jesus died? That didn't make any sense to me whatsoever. I mean, I knew what I was supposed to learn, and I definitely knew the right answers to give to my baptismal interview, and I got baptized when I was 17, okay?

10. 3:49

    So I knew the right answers, but I didn't really know why. How could it be just to save me? How could some guy dying 2,000 years ago, right? Why would that be what God requires to save me? Why couldn't God just save me because he wants to, right? Why does Jesus have to die, and why does the death of someone 2,000 years ago, what does it have to do with me anyway?

11. 4:15

    Why would God want to save me? That's a little bit more subtle. So, you know, I look at myself, I'm like, you know, why me? You know, there's a lot of nice other people out there. Why would God want to save me anyway?

12. 4:33

    What am I really doing when I get baptized? Okay? I know that all the adults want me to get baptized. I know that's kind of a big deal. That's what I'm working up towards, right? But what am I really doing when I get baptized?

13. 4:48

    How do I forgive others I can't forgive? This may not be an issue for you yet, but it will be, right? Have I sinned too much to be saved? Again, maybe this is not an issue for you yet, but as you get a little bit older, this becomes a big issue. Have I sinned too much to be saved?

14. 5:14

    And why would a loving God let us suffer? Maybe I'll ask for a show of hands. I mean, has anyone in the room had any related question to something on the screen? Anybody? Okay? Okay, lower your hands. Has anyone not had any of these questions? Okay, so at least there's going to be something this week that you're curious about.

15. 5:38

    Okay? Something that maybe we can put some more meat on and see if we can get some better or some satisfying answers around some of these topics.

16. 5:51

    Okay. So, I'm calling this set of studies reconciliation. I'm not under some illusion, by the way, that, geez, you know, six talks later, you're going to know all about reconciliation. You're going to be reconciled to God and to other people. I mean, it doesn't work that way, right? I guess I don't want to do that.

17. 6:16

    I don't think that's achievable. I just want to introduce some biblical ideas to you that will serve you the rest of your life if you grab hold of them. And if you don't grab a hold in this time period, that's fine because they're in the Bible and you'll find them later on if you want to look for them because they're there.

18. 6:32

    Before I could understand reconciliation, I had to get my understanding around this idea of separation and what separates me from other people. Maybe a little story. You know, in 2011, I moved to New Zealand. Okay? I had been living in Los Angeles. I lived in San Diego for years. I went away and did some missionary work.

19. 7:00

    I came back, changed jobs. New job was in Orange County. Moved up to Orange County. I was living there for three or four years. You know, had three of my four children. Was pregnant. Wife was pregnant with our fourth child. All of a sudden, the wife says to me, I want to move back to New Zealand.

20. 7:17

    I did not want to move back to New Zealand. Right? I didn't want to leave my family. I didn't want to leave my mother. I didn't want to leave my sisters. I didn't want to leave my ecclesia. I didn't want to leave my job. I didn't want to leave my culture. I didn't want to leave my friends.

21. 7:37

    And I was really angry. I was really angry with my wife. And as a result of being angry with her, I found that I was able to speak rudely to her. I was able to be unkind to her. I was able to isolate her. I was able to talk about her behind her back in ways that she wouldn't have been happy knowing about.

22. 8:05

    I was able to be unfaithful towards her. I was able to do all variety of things towards her because I was angry. I was angry that I was being forced, in my way of thinking at the time, being forced to move to New Zealand. Very, very angry. And I started to get my head around, like what is, I mean, my wife and I were very separate at the time.

23. 8:29

    We were not very close. We were very far apart. And I was thinking to myself, what is driving us apart? Like I do love this woman. What is, what, there's something, there's like a force driving us apart. And you can give that force a lot of words. I mean, there's a lot of words to describe this idea, right?

24. 8:53

    But whatever reconciliation is, it was kind of the opposite. And I'll use a word to describe it. I'll use the word resentment because resentment is a word that I kind of relate to. Resentment comes from Latin. Centere means to feel. And re means again, right? So resentment just means feeling something again. You ever been hurt, right?

25. 9:15

    And days later, weeks later, could be years later, you, in your memory, you recall that thing that hurts you and you sort of feel it again. Does anyone understand what that's like? You feel the feeling again, right? And you get hurt again. And you don't just get hurt. You get a little angry sometimes, you know?

26. 9:41

    Okay? That's what I mean by resentment. I'm not letting go of it. I'm going to remember it again. I'm going to think about it again. I'm going to let it hurt me again. I'm going to let it separate and divide again. Right? Resentment. Okay? Now, interestingly, resentment's not in the Bible as a word.

27. 10:00

    It is in the RSV. But I don't think in the RSV, when it describes the word resentment, I don't think it's the best translation. I think there's a better translation. Does anyone have an NIV here? Okay? A couple of you? You do? You must be a tunnel because you look like one. Right?

28. 10:18

    You are. You Floyd? Hey, Floyd. How you doing? Hey, from New Zealand, right? Good. Hey. I'm sure you didn't resent going to New Zealand like I did. Right? Floyd, look up 1 Corinthians chapter 13, Floyd. Floyd, you're a tunnel, but I'd like you to be loud. 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and verse 5.

29. 10:42

    It does not just... Love does not... Yep. It does not just... Just honor others. It's not self-seeking. It's not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Okay. So we're talking about love. Does everyone know that 1 Corinthians 13 is the love chapter? Generally, you know that. So it's saying about love. It's giving a quality of love.

30. 11:05

    And it's saying that love does not dishonor others. Love is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Okay? Now, if you have notes, I just want you to write that down. Keeps no record of wrongs.

31. 11:27

    Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Okay? Now, if you have a King James, you need to write this into your margin. Because a King James translates this, thinketh no evil. And that's a bad translation. Okay? It's not thinketh no evil. Keep no records of wrongs is the best translation of all the modern translations of this Greek idea.

32. 11:53

    Okay? Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. So those of you that struggle with resentment, right? We keep records of wrongs, right? We keep records of wrongs kind of like banks keep records of loans, right? We're just not going to miss anything. We're not going to miss a sin, right? We're going to keep an accurate and detailed and full and complete record of all the wrongs that have been done to us.

33. 12:24

    By our parents, by our siblings, by our former friends, by our current friends, by teachers, by people in our life that have hurt us. We are going to keep a record of wrongs. Okay? Now, this word keep a record of, right? It's actually the same Greek word is used also, again, second time in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

34. 12:51

    Now, it's used in a very, very different context, but it's important that we know both of these. Okay? So the next place it's used is in verse 11. Again, at the NIV. When I was a child, okay, who here is a child? Well, no one identifies as a child. That's interesting, right? Okay, when I was a child, I spoke as a child.

35. 13:12

    I thought as a child. I reasoned like a child. Okay? That word reasoned could be I kept records like a child. Okay? I kept records like a child. So what Paul is saying is that children do something very interesting. Children speak like they're children. Okay? Children also think like they're children. And children do something else very interesting.

36. 13:40

    Children keep records. Children keep records. Now, I don't know how. You have some parents in the room in the back, right? I have some parents in the, and you actually have some of your children in this room, right? So don't look knowingly if this relates to you. But I don't, how, do your kids keep records?

37. 14:06

    Because my kids are small, and they keep records. Right? And do you know how my kids keep records? Right? They use a four-letter word. It starts with F. I hate this word. Do you know what this word is?

38. 14:25

    It's not... Fair. I hate this word. Right? It's not fair. Her piece is bigger than my piece. Her seat is nicer than mine. She got to sit in the front seat last time. I get to sit in the front seat this time. You know, she got two pieces, and I only got one piece.

39. 14:52

    Right? She, he got to have his friend over last Sunday. I get to have my friend over this Sunday. Does, listen, parents, do you guys get this? Is this all resonating? Do your kids think this way? No, not at all. Okay, right. You guys are so good, right? Right? My kids think this way.

40. 15:12

    Right? And what's happening, what's happening in their head is they're keeping records. Okay? They're remembering. Remembering what happened to you, I get to have something just as much or more than you had. Okay? We are always comparing. We're always looking out and comparing. And we're looking for this really subtle, difficult, challenging concept called justice, as we define it.

41. 15:40

    Justice. You know, like, you know, even today, there'll be, you know, there'll be statues that represent justice. And the statue will have a woman, and she has a blindfold on, and she's holding something in her hands. What is she holding? A scale. Right? And so we always think about justice in terms of a scale.

42. 16:01

    Okay? Now, I'm just going to suggest to you that child, children, think of justice in terms of this scale. Now, this is not a scriptural scale. This is the way children think of their scale. On one side of the scale, we have hurts. On the other side of the scale, we have sins.

43. 16:25

    Of course, children wouldn't identify them as sins, but we might be able to more maturely identify them that way. So let me just explain how this works. And doing this, I'm going to introduce kind of five manifestations of self, which I think go along with this. Right? Okay? And the first one is self-importance.

44. 16:47

    Now, you may think to yourself, self-importance, what's that about? I don't really think that I'm very important. And, well, you know, the issue is that most of us don't think of self-importance as you think that you're very important. Think of self-importance as that you think about yourself. A lot. You may be thinking about yourself badly.

45. 17:10

    You may be thinking about yourself that you're not as good as. But you're thinking about yourself a lot. And we're always, we're all of us are born in this condition where the first person we think of, the first person we primarily think of is us. Right? And because we're thinking about ourselves a lot, we're always thinking about whether or not we were treated very nicely.

46. 17:32

    Whether or not we were treated very fairly. Whether or not we got as much as someone else got. Whether or not we were given all the advantages that other people enjoyed. And so because we think about ourselves a lot, naturally, you know, some of us might develop through the spirit and maybe not to think so much about ourselves.

47. 17:55

    But most of us come into this world with this type of equipment. And because we think about ourselves a lot, we're easily hurt. We're easily hurt. We're easily finding situations, you know. And even today at Bible school, it could have been like, well, I had a seat saved next to me for this person, but she sat next to him.

48. 18:18

    What's that about? Right? Right. Why aren't you sitting at my table? You think you're better than me or something? You know? I mean, this is the kind of thing that we naturally go through in our minds, right? We're thinking about ourselves, and so we're comparing. Okay? So what happens is we're easily hurt.

49. 18:35

    And now, unfortunately for us, our scale is askew, right? And we don't like askew scales. Askew scales don't feel very fair. Don't feel very fair. So actually, naturally then, the next manifestation of self starts to develop. And we go from self-importance to self-justification. We think, you know what? I've been hurt a little bit here.

50. 19:05

    You know, that person didn't treat me very nicely. And we think to ourselves, well, then it's okay to not treat them very nicely, isn't it? You know, that's just fair. You know, my wife hurt me. She wanted to move to New Zealand. She wanted to take me away from my friends and my family.

51. 19:22

    It's okay not to talk very nicely about her. That's not a problem. Well, that's just evening things up. That's what that is, right? And so what happens is we start to justify doing the wrong thing.

52. 19:42

    Another way of thinking about this is blame. If you want to think of it that way, think of it that way. Think of it as blame, right? Or think about it as self-justification. It's okay to do the wrong thing because someone else did a wrong thing to me first. And if I do a wrong thing, it's not really wrong.

53. 20:01

    It's just evening things up. That's all it is. And of course, what's happened in this situation is that you've just justified sinning because someone else sinned against you first. And of course, once you've justified sinning, then hey, it's pretty easy to continue to justify it. And what happens is we start to completely ignore the words of Christ.

54. 20:32

    In Matthew 5, verse 44, These words of Christ, they feel like they should be on the back of a postcard. You know, like they're really nice. Maybe they should be in a gift card. You know, I might send them to my grandma, right? But, you know, these words don't really have much impact on us on a day-to-day basis because, you know, we're doing this, right?

55. 21:03

    We're, we are, since we've been hurt, we are now justifying doing what's wrong. It's okay to sin, right? Because, you know what, I've been sinned against first. And once, the problem here is that once we begin to justify one sin, you know, it's real easy to continue that justification game. And after a while, we may have sinned so many times, right?

56. 21:32

    It actually doesn't start to, it starts to feel like, oh, maybe I overreached here. You know? Gee, maybe what I, what I did is I, I've, you know, I've, I've gone too far. Ah. But this is where resentment steps in, right? This is why resentment is such a beautiful thing for people in the world, right?

57. 21:51

    Because then, what I do then, Tom, is I just remember that sin again, right? And I think about it a bit. And I think, you know what? She didn't just do that because she wanted to go back. She was trying to hurt me. That's right. She did it on purpose. And we remember the hurt and we add more elements to it.

58. 22:20

    We might add intention. We might say that you, you purposely did it. You were, you were setting out to hurt me. And so what happens is we'll take the original hurt and we'll just make it bigger.

59. 22:38

    Big enough to justify all the hurts. So what are resentments, young people? What are resentments? Resentments are simply the fuel that allow us to feel okay doing what's wrong. Now, I don't know if you're taking notes. You're not taking notes. Is there a reason you're not taking notes? You're a Pagy, aren't you?

60. 23:08

    Yes. Yes, you are. Now, why is it you're not taking notes? Yes. Your mom, Nisa, was a major note taker. I know it for a fact, right? So does anyone, does, I like it when people bring pencils, when people bring pens, when they bring notepads, right? Because, you know, you just can't possibly remember all these things.

61. 23:26

    And so you write them down, right? And then maybe that helps you memorize, you learn something more. So, you know, bring notes, bring pens. There's a bookshop open. And, you know, I know Jeff will give you a 20, right? It's all good, right? Okay.

62. 23:44

    So, I mean, sometimes I go over to Australia and I have groups like this that are young people and I don't know anyone. I can't pick on anybody and it's not very nice, right? You know? It's much nicer to show up here and I know people's parents, you know? So, resentments are simply the fuel that allow us to feel okay doing what's wrong.

63. 24:06

    Okay? And before you long, you find yourself in a position where you can't forgive. Where you can't forgive the thing that has been wronged, how he'd been wronged. And you think to yourself, well, Gina, I've been hurt. And the Bible says I should just forgive the fact that I was hurt. And if I just forgive the fact that I was hurt, then it's all going to be good.

64. 24:30

    Because really, that's the Bible's answer to this. I've been sinned against. I should forgive. But you find yourself in a situation like this, if you don't check it, where you cannot forgive that hurt.

65. 24:46

    Why not? Because before long, you find yourself in a position where you're actually sitting on a huge pile of sins over here. Now, imagine that it's even. Imagine that I had hurts on one side and sins on the other. And gee, it's a balance. And I've been hurt, but I've also sinned. But you know what?

66. 25:13

    They deserved it. They deserved it. So actually, I'm no longer in self-justification. I've now moved into self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is rationalizing afterwards why they deserved it. Hey, you know what? They sinned against me. And I felt that sin because I'm important. I sinned against them, which I've justified. And now I think, after the fact, they deserved it.

67. 25:39

    That's self-righteousness. Okay? And I can't forgive. And the reason I can't forgive is if I forgave all those hurts. Let's just say I forgave them all. Right? Then what would my scale be doing? It'd be tipping. Which direction would it be tipping?

68. 26:00

    The wrong way. Because I'd be sitting on a huge pile of sins with nothing to justify them with. And I don't like that very much. So I'd prefer, I'd prefer not to forgive you. That is my preference. My preference is to hold on to your sin. Because that way, at least it's just.

69. 26:38

    If I forgive you, then maybe I've got to face guilt. I don't want that. So I'd prefer to hold on to the sin. I'd prefer to not forgive. What am I trying to do, young people? Okay? Obviously, this is the anti-biblical scenario we're talking about. This is how things go when the Spirit and the Word don't have an impact and don't have an effect.

70. 27:17

    Okay? The world and relationships in the world and even relationships in the truth where the Word hasn't made sufficient impact yet are full of this.

71. 27:32

    Are full of holding on to the pain and the hurt that other people have done me. And holding back from them the love and the kindness that I ought to give and a feeling like it's even.

72. 27:58

    You deserved it. And this destroys relationships. And after a while you see I'm loaded up. I'm loaded up with so much of the hurts on one side and I got the sins on the other and I'm carrying them both. I'm carrying my sins that I really haven't sought forgiveness for. I'm holding on to your sins that I'm really not forgiving.

73. 28:33

    And the reality of this is we start to feel well, we start to feel bad. We start to feel bad about ourselves. If you have enough of this, if you have a quantity of this where I'm holding on to your sins and I'm justifying my sins, after a while it starts to feel a little bit heavy on my shoulders.

74. 28:59

    And so you move into something I might call like self-loathing or self-pity. That was interesting. I'll push that one again. That was the wrong, oh there we go. I'll get back in a second. Self-pity.

75. 29:21

    Now I'm feeling sorry for myself. And what happens when I feel sorry for myself? Well, this is my experience young people. This might not be your experience. And if it's not your experience yet, then I'm grateful. But this is my experience. Weighed down by the things I'm not forgiving in others and justifying the things I've done wrong and not feeling good about that and not liking this sort of self-pity step.

76. 30:02

    I move very quickly into something different. I move very quickly into self-gratification. And I don't know what self-gratification is for you. I don't know for you if it's sports sports. I don't know for you if it's video games. I don't know for you if it's manifested itself in drinking. I don't know for you if it's manifested itself in smoking something.

77. 30:35

    I don't know for you if it's manifested itself in seeking relentlessly after relationships because I need other people to validate me, to make me feel okay. I need a boy or I need a girl. I need a relationship. I don't know if it's manifest in you and just not feeling okay with yourself. And so you grab for something, for anything to make you feel better. Because you need to feel better. Of course you need to feel better because you're holding on to your sins and you're holding on other people's sins and you're holding these things on your shoulders and after a while you start to feel weak. And so you need something, something to fill this hole that is developing inside of you. And I turn to all sorts of stuff I'm not even going to tell you about, right? But maybe if you talk to me later, one-on-one I'll tell you a little bit, right? But you put stuff in because you're thinking, geez, I have this hole and so what I need to do is I need to fill it. So I need to fill it with relationships. I can hardly think of an Idlewild in 10 years of being in these rooms where I wasn't distracted in these rooms thinking, where is she sitting? Are they holding hands during prayers? You know? Because constantly needing to pursue a relationship just to feel okay. Trying other things to see if they'd work.

78. 32:08

    And so what happens is you get a cycle. A cycle starts to develop, right? Between self-gratification to self-pity, right? What happens is I feel bad, so I find something that makes me feel better. But then that thing that's making me feel better kind of doesn't work, or maybe even worse is a negative thing. It makes me feel worse. So I move back to self-pity, which means I need to move on to more self-gratification. But that's not working, so I move back into self-pity. But I don't want to stay there, so I move into self-gratification. And it goes in a circle. It doesn't stop.

79. 32:56

    And this may be, I'm obviously trying to use the word self in all these different descriptive words, but there's maybe a more common sense way to describe this. Maybe I should just say, sin, feel awful. Sin, feel awful. Sin, feel awful. Because I think when I was 18, 19, that I would have definitely related to that cycle a lot more. Okay? Does anyone relate with this? Anybody?

80. 33:39

    Okay, everyone raise your hand. Everybody raise your hand, regardless of everybody. Higher. You in the middle, you're just like, you know some guys are like, just so you know. Okay? Now lower your hand if you can't relate at all. Yeah. Okay. Yep. This, see this was the struggle of my youth, you know. But I wasn't going to talk about it, because I really wanted everyone to think I was a super spiritual guy. So why would I talk about this? Because then you might know the truth.

81. 34:11

    I didn't want you to know the truth, right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was going to ruin my prospects, you know. So I couldn't, couldn't, that was not going to happen, right? I wasn't going to be honest about it. But this is what was going on, right? Just constantly searching for something.

82. 34:31

    And, you know, I wanted to find that thing in the Bible. I wanted the Bible to be that thing, right? But the problem is, I'd shove more of the Bible in. But my problem is, I'm still holding on to your sins. I'm still not really seeking true reconciliation for my sins, right? So I shoved the Bible into that situation, and it just feels like the Bible isn't working, you know. So maybe I got to try something else. I tried the Bible. Gee, I really gave that a good go. But that's not seems to be working. So now I'm going to try something else, because I can't sit with this feeling. I don't like it. All right, so this is the, this is what's going on for us. This is a situation where someone feels, gee, you know, it's even. By the way, if I have more hurts than sins, I feel self-pity. If I have more sins than hurts, I feel self-loathing, right? So you might be skewed one way or the other. It happens. Okay, so does anyone know what, in the Old Testament, what the word atonement is really in the Hebrew? Does anyone know? Yeah, that's you, Keaton. Good on. Good on, you, Keaton. How's your Hebrew? Pretty good. That's not bad, right? Covering. Okay, it's covering. And what's happening here, and I call this false atonement. And the reason I call this false atonement is because what's actually happening, guys, is I'm covering my sins in the sins of someone else. I'm thinking my sins are okay because I've been sinned against. Okay, that's false atonement. Covering my sin in the sin of someone else. False atonement. Okay, does anyone know,

83. 36:51

    by the way, using kind of the same language structure, what God actually proposes for atonement? So naturally, what we want to do is we want to cover our sins in someone else's sin. We want to make our stuff okay because someone else has done this. The Bible doesn't propose that we cover our sins in the sins of someone else. The Bible proposes that we cover our sins in the righteousness of God. See, what the Bible does is completely and 100% opposed and the opposite of what our natural tendency is. Our natural tendency is to cover our sin in someone else's sins. The Bible's solution is to cover our sins in the righteousness of God.

84. 37:54

    And that makes no sense to us. How does that work? How does that make sense? Because this makes a bit of intuitive sense, doesn't it? Hey, you've hurt me, I hurt you. We're even. Does that not make a bit of intuitive sense? How does it make intuitive sense that my sins are covered in righteousness?

85. 38:17

    But we can be a little bit grateful that God didn't propose our solution. And we think He should, don't we? We think He should. We think, we almost think, you know, I've sinned, I should be punished. I've sinned, I should be punished. That's how it should work. I've sinned, I should be hurt. I've sinned against God, He should sin against me. That's intuition. I should be hurt for my sins. I should be punished for my sins. I should be cast out of the kingdom for my sins.

86. 38:53

    That's intuition. That makes sense to us. Do you know what doesn't make sense? That doesn't make sense. Is that intuitive for anyone? Not for me.

87. 39:13

    Okay. He gives grace. We spend so much time looking for and finding atonement of the wrongs of others, the hearse done to us according to the balance of childlike reasoning, covering our own sins with the sins of others, that grace, the idea of grace which is, nope, I'm not going to reward you according to your righteousnesses, I'm not going to punish you according to your sins.

88. 39:50

    That doesn't make any sense. That's really confusing. That's really, really confusing. So, because that's confusing, my job this week is to make this unconfusing. That's what I want to do. Okay. So, the next two sessions, what we're going to do together is we're going to unconfuse this. Right? And we're going to explain how God does not cover our sins with sins.

89. 40:24

    He covers our sins with righteousness. Okay? And we're going to understand how that unwinds this balance. Okay? And we're going to see how that then really whoa.

90. 40:41

    How that releases from us this bind that we're in. And so we can have freedom in Christ. That's what I want to talk to you about. Of course, if you prefer that, then you can just ignore what I had to say. Right? But it's not very good. Right? I've lived this. I don't want to go back.

91. 41:08

    Okay? So you can see that God doesn't reward you for your sins and this is grace. But what we struggle with is how is that righteous?

92. 41:23

    We can see that we cover our sins with the sins of others. But how does it work that our sins are covered by the righteousness of God through Christ?

93. 41:36

    Why is that the basis of grace? Tune into our next class and maybe you can find out. Okay. So how much time do we have now?

94. 41:51

    Two minutes? Okay. So I'm kind of done. That was really good timing actually. Wow. That's pretty good. Listen. I teach the next adult class which really kind of bothers me because I want to be here and available to you. So please, I was the kind of kid that would go straight up to the speaker.

95. 42:14

    Right? Jenna's laughing because she knows it's true. Yeah. Maybe you're not that kind of kid. Right? But if you have any questions or you'd like to talk about anything, I want to be available to you. Right? So I'll hang out here as long as I can. I'll get here as early as I can.

96. 42:34

    And please don't be shy. Right? Because you've got to work these things through in your own experience not simply through my words. Thanks. Thanks. Thank you.