132: Caleb O’Connor - Exhortation: Parents and Grandparents in the Lord

Automatically transcribed. Accuracy is good but not perfect, and words are sometimes wrong. Trust the audio over the text.

1. 0:00

   Welcome to Good Christadelphian Talks. I'm Levi. And I'm Chris. And I'm Brian. Thank you for joining us this week. On this podcast, we select one talk a week to help us get the Bible in our daily news feed. We post a new episode at the start of each week, with a short intro beforehand to kind of set the stage for the talk you're about to listen to.

2. 0:33

   And now, let's talk more about this week's talk. For our talk this week, we're listening to an exhortation that was given by Brother Caleb O'Connor from the North Bay Ecclesia in Ontario, Canada. And Brother Caleb is giving an exhortation talking about the importance of parents and grandparents and the Lord, both physical as well as spiritual, and the critical importance that they play.

3. 1:09

   And not only those that physically raised each and every one of us to be where we are today, but also the impact that we can have on other people that look to us as those examples. He is giving this as a lesson and sort of a kudos to somebody who is important in his life, who celebrated their birthday just prior to this exhortation.

4. 1:30

   And it was just a powerful reminder, and as I was listening to Brother Caleb give his exhortation, I couldn't help but think of the people in my life, my mother and my grandparents, my uncles and aunts, that when I was growing up played such a significant impact in my life, in my development, in the truth.

5. 1:51

   And also, I'm sure as you're listening to it as well, you'll be able to think of those same people that helped guide you in the direction that you did to help discover the truth. And Brother Caleb is taking a look at the importance that that plays and reminds us that even though sometimes, especially in this past year when we've all been in lockdown, that being cooped up with your kids can sometimes be a little grating and can sometimes wear you out, especially recently.

6. 2:17

   It's been raining here in California, so my three boys have been getting a little bit of cabin fever because they can't even go outside to go run around like they normally do. And there have definitely been a few times where I wanted to just lock them into their room. So that I could maintain my sanity.

7. 2:32

   But this exhortation was a good reminder to appreciate the blessing of both the time that I have with them now and also to understand the impact that my attitude has on them when it comes to raising them up to be God-fearing brothers in the case of my kids are all boys. So it was just a really good reminder.

8. 3:17

   in what otherwise might be considered a twilight period. And that is super important now. Just as a good reminder, it almost feels a little bit like a cliche to say, make sure you reach out to your spiritual and physical parents and grandparents and stay connected with them. It's something that I know I always need to work on to do better.

9. 3:37

   But it's something that I just found to be a really encouraging one, a good reminder. Couldn't help but give you some good memories as you're remembering your parents and grandparents that you grew up with. Thank you for the sister that sent in this exhortation as a recommendation. I really enjoyed it and I hope all of you do as well.

10. 3:53

    So with that, I will turn it over to Brother Caleb O'Connor for his exhortation on parents and grandparents in the Lord. So last night, after the meeting, or after the party, I started thinking about what I'd write my exhort on. And it got me thinking to the importance of passing God's message on as a torch to future generations.

11. 4:17

    So this is really what spawned my exhortation here this morning. And it brought me back to Psalm 71, which we read as part of our daily readings. I believe it was earlier. It was Monday, I think it was. So if you'll keep your finger in Psalm 71, I will be referring to it as we go.

12. 4:38

    So no matter how old you are, or whether or not you have much zip left, it's not time to let go. If you're in the golden years of life, you do have more to give. And as we grow older, our responsibilities do grow with us. If we listen to Psalm 92 in verse 14 and 15, it says, They shall bear fruit in old age.

13. 5:03

    They are ever full of sap and stay green to declare that the Lord is upright. He is my rock and there is no unrighteousness in him. So today I'd like to focus on what I will coin as intentional parenting and grandparenting. Whenever I use the word parenting, I'm referring to both grandparents and parents.

14. 5:27

    And I believe all the adults on the call here today are parents. So it's quite fitting. So before falling asleep in the Lord, we need to ensure that we're passing on and leaving a legacy. Because when parents and grandparents are intentional, it will make a grand impact on the next generation. Today we live in the age of the grandparent boom.

15. 5:57

    It's defined as the most defining social change that is taking place is the aging of the Western civilization. And I wanted to share some stats with you to back that up. So I punched into the Google machine. And here are some of the things that I found. The baby boom has become the grandparent boom.

16. 6:24

    And there's now more grandparents in the U.S. and Canada than ever before in history. Some 75 million thereabouts. And about a 24% increase since 2001. Of those 65 and older, 83% say that they have grandchildren. Of all adults over 30, more than one in three are grandparents. More grandparents today are living with a grandchild.

17. 6:52

    Among those grandparents, a significant share, about 37%, also serve as their grandchild's primary caregiver. Grandparents have an average of five to six grandchildren. And the number of Canadian and Americans age 65 and older is projected to nearly double from 52 million in 2018 to 95 million by 2060. And with this age group's share of the total population rising from about 16% to about 25% of the total population.

18. 7:25

    Life expectancy at the turn of the century was approximately 46 years. And today it's approximately 82 years. And that's a unisex mortality. 2032 is the projected retirement apex of the developed world. With the projected 25% of the population anticipated to be retired. And there's about 30 million Christian grandparents in Canada and the U.S.

19. 7:51

    And with medical advancement and increased average mortality, today's grandparents are the youngest and most fit and most capable generation ever. So if we expect younger generations to grow spiritually, those of us who are older must pass on what we possess. So here's the question. If you're a parent or grandparent, are you passive or passionate about reaching and teaching the next generation?

20. 8:22

    Dr. Harper, who is a famous child psychologist in the U.S. states, grandparents are hands down the second most powerful influence in a child's life and in many cases, the most significant influencer in their life. So it got me thinking and I'd like to introduce three main principles or purpose statements for our exhortation here today.

21. 8:47

    The first is to reimagine parents and grandparents so that they align themselves with what scripture teaches. The second being reigniting a passion, parents and grandparents, for their children and grandchildren. And the third is to reconnect relationships between grandparents and parents in order to spiritually impact the next generation. So the only way to make a significant impact on the next generation is to be singularly spiritually intentional.

22. 9:20

    And when I search the Google dictionary for the word intentional, it defines it as something done deliberately. And we would say it's maybe something like this. Intentional is an action performed with awareness, done deliberately, consciously or on purpose. So grandparents and parents need to be intentional and on purpose with their children and grandchildren.

23. 9:45

    And this doesn't mean necessarily that we preach to them all the time, but that we have thought about things that are going on in their lives and at the age that they currently live. When the opportunity comes up, we're ready to talk about it. Before our work is done, we need to ensure that we're passing our knowledge on and leaving a legacy.

24. 10:06

    Because when parents and grandparents are intentional, it will make a grand impact on the next generation. We certainly live in a culture that promotes youthfulness today and somewhat denigrates the elderly. We know the Bible says something very different. And the Bible calls us to instead, honor the aged. Leviticus 19.32 says, You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man.

25. 10:35

    You shall fear your God. I am the Lord. So it got me thinking, and this is what led me to Psalm 71. And Psalm 71 is often coined as the Psalm of the aged. And the reading that we did today, and as earlier this week in Psalm 71, it perfectly aligns to the points that I'm trying to make here this morning.

26. 11:02

    So we're not entirely certain of who wrote these words, but many believe that it was David and in the latter years of his life. If we look at verse 9, if you still have your finger in Psalm 71 there, it says, Do not cast me off in a time of old age. Forsake me not when my strength is spent.

27. 11:22

    So assuming that this is David, he's older and weaker now. And yet, according to verse 14, he's still holding on to his hope. It says, I will hope continually when I'll praise you yet more and more. So for our purposes today, I'd like to focus a little bit more specifically on verses 17 and 18.

28. 11:42

    Where it says, O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do you not forsake me until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those that come. And the reason why I think this is so important is David, I'll assume it's David, he's noting the past, present, and the future in these verses.

29. 12:07

    The past when he quotes, from my youth you have taught me. The present, as it says, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. And in the future as well, as it says, so even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me. So David's overriding concern is to live long enough to proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all that come.

30. 12:30

    So we can see the stages of life here. He remembers his youth, and then he describes his middle age, and then he looks ahead to the golden years. And I see three main lessons from these verses. The first being that we need to know God and seek God when we're young by learning from him.

31. 12:56

    Verse 17, David writes, From my youth you have taught me. And the word youth refers to the early stages of life. So those of us with children, it's never too early or too late to teach our children about the Lord. And I hope that you're taking every possible opportunity to intentionally introduce your children to God's message and that you are intentionally instructing them.

32. 13:22

    Sometimes we wonder what children can learn when they're young or older, for that matter. But I think it's more than we think. If we look back to the verse 5 and 6, it says, For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust. O Lord, from my youth, upon you I have learned from before my birth.

33. 13:41

    You are he who took me from my mother's womb, and my praise is continually of you. One of the ways that in our community that we help our children to learn of God's message of redemption and hope at an early age is through Sunday schools, Bible schools, young people's weekends, and interaction with their peers in the ecclesia.

34. 14:03

    We have to look, as brothers and sisters, how we can help support and honour what God is doing to make sure we're not looking down but supporting our younger generation. 1 Timothy chapter 4 states in verse 12, Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

35. 14:25

    So instead of looking down, let's come aside and look to mentor and support our youth, even as they serve to examples for us. The temptation, I suppose, is to think that us all being procrastinators is that we'll get serious with God later and spend time with our families when we get older. My mind started to think and went to the song by Harry Chaplin, Catching the Cradle song, and it's fairly impactful, the message of his poem that he wrote as part of the song.

36. 15:04

    And it's not being there for his son. This dad, who's now a grandpa as he's speaking in the song, reaches out to his son when he sings, and I'll quote the song. I've long since retired and my son's moved away. I called him up just the other day. I said, I'd like to see you if you don't mind.

37. 15:23

    He said, I'd love to, Dad, if I could just find the time. You see, my new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu. But it's sure nice to talk to you, Dad. It's been sure nice talking to you. And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me, he'd just grown up just like me.

38. 15:39

    My boy was just like me. God's way to grow old is to develop a walk with him now. And because you will be in the future, what you are becoming in the present. We notice how David is daily devoted to God, and he uses the word continually three different times in this chapter.

39. 16:06

    And has the idea of continuity and always. Verse 3. Be to me a rock of refuge, which I may continually come. In verse 6. My praise is continually of you. And in verse 14. But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. I oftentimes will score through some of the commentary.

40. 16:33

    I'm interested in commentary on the internet when we do the daily readings. And one of the passages or quotes that really took me or resonated with me, should I say, is this quote here. And it says, believers are the guardians of God's glory. When I started to think and reflect on this idea, that's exactly what parents and grandparents are to be to their families.

41. 17:02

    They're to be the guardians of God's glory. And they're called, we are called, to this purpose and legacy. So getting old to the glory of God means getting old in a way that makes God look glorious. King David went through a lot of challenges, as we know, including friction and fractures in his own family.

42. 17:26

    You know, you think about Absalom, when he turned on him. When we look at verse 20, it says, you who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again. We know that David's life is filled with these troubles, but he can never remember a day that the Lord failed him.

43. 17:45

    So here's something to think about. Those born at the turn of the 20th century lived through World War I, Spanish flu pandemic, a decade of the Great Depression and recession, severe drought causing what was known as the Dust Bowl, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and the Cold War. Our kids and grandkids will, I'm sure, hear stories from us about what it was like to live through COVID-19, high unemployment, economic uncertainty, cultural upheaval, and racial tension.

44. 18:20

    Just as older generations were marked by terrible times, this year is also marking us. The question is, what ways are we trusting God during this turbulent time, and what lessons are we able to pass along to the next generation?

45. 18:36

    It got me thinking about another song by R.E.M. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. When unbelievers look at followers of Christ during the times of upheaval and suffering that occur in every generation, do they see people who are as anxious and as scared or as panicked as they are?

46. 18:58

    Or do they see those who are confidently trusting in their sovereign and holy God to come what may? Do they see a people who have true peace in God? Or do they see us showing love to both God and our neighbors as we remain faithful to the task which God has called us to?

47. 19:13

    Do they see us as a light in darkness? Do they see Jesus in us? To be on purpose, we must show God in our years by leaving a legacy.

48. 19:30

    In verse 18, David not only looked back to God's goodness and faithfulness at his birth, but he lived it on a daily basis. When he looked to the future, he saw work remaining to be done. We must first know God before we can show him to others. Verse 18, David's desire is to proclaim God's power and might to the next generation.

49. 20:03

    And the word proclaim, it's used twice in this passage. And I looked up some synonyms to the word proclaim, and they include to declare or to report or explain and tell. And according to the Google dictionary, one who proclaims is a person who has witnessed something and tells others about it. It's a person who reports a matter of life and death importance.

50. 20:28

    And it's a person who explains something to someone who lacks knowledge of it. So I'd like to put these ideas together. If you've witnessed the wonder and works of God in your life, then proclaim God's power to those who don't know him. And do it with a sense of urgency for if you are to proclaim, it is a matter of life and death urgency.

51. 20:55

    We need to make sure that we pass it on and leave a legacy because when parents and grandparents are intentional, it will make a grand impact on the next generation.

52. 21:06

    We see here that David is proclaiming God's marvelous deeds, his power and his might to the next generation, because he knows that he's going to fall asleep. And he's determined to pass along God's actions and attributes. And that's what we should be doing. And we need to be doing this with intentional urgency, declaring who God is and all that he has done.

53. 21:30

    Another passage in the Psalms, chapter 9, verse 1 says, I will recount all of your wondrous deeds. In Psalm 26 and 7, it encourages not to be quiet about it, as it says, proclaiming thanksgiving aloud and telling all your wondrous deeds. Again, David, in Psalm 66, 16, we see how purposeful and personal this must be, where it says, come and hear all you who fear God and will tell what he has done for my soul.

54. 21:55

    So we can see that old age, it doesn't provide an out for David, nor does gray hair disqualify him. Actually, it's doing exactly the opposite. As we get older, the greater the urgency we should feel to intentionally impact the next generation. God is greatly committed to those in their golden years, as it's stated in Isaiah 46, verse 4, where it says, So we see here that gray hair is a great honor.

55. 22:33

    And according to Proverbs chapter 16 and 31, gray hair is a crown of glory. It is gained in a righteous life. And in Proverbs 20, 29 adds, The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair. So demographers have recently identified a new life stage between adulthood and becoming elderly.

56. 22:57

    And this is part of an aging demographic that we see the average mortality rates, as I quoted earlier, has almost doubled since the turn of the century. So the demographers, they call this the third age or the midcourse or my time in life. And I'd like to describe it for our purposes here and call it the prime time for proclamation.

57. 23:24

    And biblically understood, a longer life is simply an opportunity to extend your ministry's impact. So we would notice in chapter 71 of Psalms here that David is requesting God that he would sustain him long enough so that he could leave a legacy of faith in the next generation. We can likely assume that this would be speaking of Solomon.

58. 23:49

    Not just Solomon, though. It's likely speaking to all those that would come. And he's not just thinking about himself or his ease. He's determined to declare his faith to those who would follow him. It's been said that the ecclesia, the body of Christ, is just one generation away from extinction. We would often look at the younger generation as our future.

59. 24:14

    But we also must consider and not forget that our future is also in the past because parents and grandparents are uniquely qualified to pass on the biblical values and vibrant faith to the next generation. This theme of one generation passing along a legacy of faith to the next is found throughout Scripture. And God set it up that way.

60. 24:37

    Before falling asleep in Christ, we need to ensure that we're passing on this legacy because when parents and grandparents are intentional, they will make a grand impact on the next generation.

61. 24:52

    Deuteronomy chapter 4 verse 9 says, The word only here is the idea of being exclusive. We're to be careful to protect our beliefs so that we don't lose life for the Lord. And we're to pass on this love to our children and to our grandchildren. The phrase make known means to know rationally or experientially.

62. 25:31

    In Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 2, it also says that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son's sons. When I revere the Lord, I'm in a position to reflect on him and to the next generation. And again in Psalms, in chapter 33 verse 11, it says, The counsel of the Lord stands forever and he plants his heart to all generations.

63. 25:56

    In Psalms 78, starting in verse 4, it says, We will not hide from them from their children. Sorry, we will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generations the glorious deeds of the Lord and his might and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded to our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise telling them to their children so that they should set hope in God.

64. 26:30

    So we look today to the world we live in, in this Western civilization, and how much our Western culture undervalues and somewhat marginalizes grandparents and the elderly today. And there's two main messages that are main themes that we see in the Western world. And it's a living reality that's developed. As we become more and more affluent.

65. 26:57

    The first theme would be stay out of the way. When grandparents think they're an inconvenience, or they might simply choose to live a life of independence from their adult children and grandchildren. We know that today, old age homes and assisted living business is booming. And the second theme that we see in our mass affluent Western culture for the elderly is travel and play.

66. 27:25

    You deserve it. And the second promotion to grandparents is one of indulgence and the idea that you've worked hard, done your time, so it's time to rest and travel and play. So instead of seeing yourself as an inconvenience or getting swallowed up by indulgence and deserving, the Bible calls us to be intentional and on purpose.

67. 27:45

    So that we might make a grand impact on this next generation. So God places expectations on parents and grandparents to teach this word and to give testimony of the son of God. We're to give the scriptures and reinforce the relevance by how we also live. So if we start to think and summarize the role of parenting and grandparenting, we can conclude it and summarize it through the following scripture.

68. 28:21

    We're to give a blessing before we die. In Genesis chapter 48, at the end of Joseph's life here, Joseph said to his father, sorry, Jacob's life, Joseph said to his father, they are my sons whom God has given me. And he said, bring them here, please that I might bless them.

69. 28:42

    The second important item to summarize parenting through is that we must leave a legacy that will never die. Quoting again from Proverbs chapter 13, verse 22, it says a good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children.

70. 29:02

    And thirdly, we must raise a beacon of light that can be held high. Matthew chapter five, it says, let your light so shine before men in such a way that they may see your good, good works and glorify your father who's in heaven. So there's been a bunch of admonition today. And I'd like to finish on a, on a positive note.

71. 29:25

    So I'd like to suggest some, some application. And perhaps some of these items may find some traction in your life. So here are some practical steps that I will leave you with. We're to pray every day. And it is important that our children know that they're in our prayers every day. The second thing, which is totally counter-cultural is that we must reserve.

72. 29:58

    We, we must resist the urge to spoil our children. I mean, if we look at where we're at today, this is, this is the cultural norm. Like, aren't you supposed to be spoiling your children as parents and grandparents? Isn't this what we're supposed to be doing? And actually in a, in a me centered society, we, we must work at not overindulging our children.

73. 30:25

    If we spoil them, we, we may be foiling the work of God in their lives. And instead of spoiling, let's, let's work at, at toiling for their salvation. Something that actually matters. So if we want to spoil our kids, give them something that won't perish or spoil. Give them the gospel. The third practical application is, is that we need to see time with our children and grandchildren as a blessing, not simply as watching or babysitting them, but as a God given gift of time to teach and disciple.

74. 31:05

    So parents, God calls us to his purpose to ensure that every opportunity you have with our children is to help connect them, with the gospel and to teach them how to become more like Christ. Parents and grandparents, we must be grand disciple makers.

75. 31:28

    The fourth application is to use stories to reinforce the gospel and to play and, and plan to say something intentional in every conversation we have with our children. We need to plan and pray ahead of time that God will give us opportunities, to intentionally make a spiritual impact or connection. It's something we do or say.

76. 31:49

    For example, when we tell our children that we love them, also remind them that God loves them. The fifth thing, and is to establish good memories. And this, this really got me thinking as we were sharing stories last night as part of the 60th zoom birthday party. And many of the stories that were shared were at Bible school or something involved.

77. 32:17

    The memory was somehow involved with something spiritual or at a, at a Bible school or, or in the ecclesia or et cetera. And this is the importance of, of living the walk and being called to the purpose. It speaks to the memories that are, are surrounding by our spiritual upbringing. And the last practical application is that we need to reinforce God's message of redemption and salvation with our children.

78. 32:47

    Our kids more than any generation before are swimming in a culture that is anti-God and anti-gospel. And we must do all that we can to reinforce what the Bible teaches. And this isn't mattering how old you are, whether we have much zip left, it's not time to let go. So before our time is done, we are charged and commanded to pass on and leave a legacy of purpose.

79. 33:20

    Because when parents are intentional, they will make a grand impact on the next generation and the future of our ecclesia. Thank you for listening to the good Christadelphian talks podcast. We hope this talk helped you in your walk. If you would like to hear more, please subscribe for new episodes and leave a review in Apple podcast or whichever service you are using to help more people find the show when they search for it.

80. 33:59

    If you enjoyed this particular talk, please share it with someone who you think might enjoy it as well. For show notes on the talk you just listened to visit our show page at anchor.fm slash GCT, or check the show notes section of your podcast player. Please share your thoughts on the talk from this week on our Facebook or Instagram pages, where we are at good Christadelphian talks on Twitter, where we are at GCT underscore podcast, or leave a comment on our YouTube channel where these talks are posted as well.

81. 34:28

    If you know of a great talk, we want to know about it too. Send a suggestion to our email at good Christadelphian talks at gmail.com or message us on any of our social media accounts. Thank you for listening. God bless and talk to you next week.